And You Will Have Me Live
by SeraphimeRising
Summary: Pansy's life had been set in stone since she was a small girl with no hope of it ever changing. However, a chance meeting on Christmas day changes everything for better and for worse.
1. Chapter 1 Christmas Day

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not the characters. Not the universe. Okay maybe the idea.**

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Chapter 1 _Christmas Day_

Christmas Day couldn't end soon enough as far as Pansy Parkinson was concerned, who was ordering a drink at the surprisingly crowded Leaky Cauldron. As it had every Christmas since she turned seventeen, it still amazed her at how many witches and wizards had the same overriding desire to get the hell away from their families at this time of year. Maybe it was a sign she was normal after all. Or, at the very least, could be perceived as being normal.

Pansy had just bailed on her parents' annual Christmas party twenty minutes earlier. Though no one at the Leaky Cauldron would have guessed that; given her slim, black jeans; black leather, knee-length boots; and large black belt that coordinated with the halter top she had worn to the ball. However, she figured she still had two hours before she could go home. Any sooner and she ran the risk of her mother catching her and that was one battle she was in no mood to fight. Especially with her parents' annual New Year's Eve Ball just around the corner, one misstep with escaping the Christmas party guaranteed a chaperone for the entire New Year's Ball.

She paid her tab and grabbed her drink, with a quick 'thank you' to Hannah who nodded her head discretely. Leaning her back against the bar, she looked for a quite place to drink and wallow in privacy. Unfortunately, the Christmas crowd was occupying many of the tables she preferred when she felt this cranky. Finally, she spotted one in the back corner and made her way to it. Keeping her head down just enough to let her shoulder length, black hair cover her face, she kept her walk quick and confident hoping to deter any one from getting a second glance at her and recognizing her.

Unfortunately, on closer inspection, she realized that it was occupied with the most annoying Griffyndor ever – Ron Weasley. Silently, she cursed to herself. She briefly thought about spinning around and finding another table, but one look at him told her that he was in the same dark mood as she was.

_What the hell?_ she thought.

He had hated her since she was eleven. What happened that night at the Battle of Hogwarts didn't lower his opinion of her in the least; she was as low as a person could go – except for possibly Draco. Taking a calculated risk, she scooted into the vacant side of the booth pushing into the darkened corner to hide from on-lookers.

"Beat it, Parkinson," he growled.

"Waiting on someone other than your next drink, Weasel?" she replied, not looking in his direction as she kept her eyes on the room. She turned her body to rest her back against the wall and place her feet on the bench, trying to further hide in the darkness of the booth while still keeping an eye on whoever approached the table. Never seeing the one set of eyes that were staring at her as she tried to dig herself into the darken corner.

"No."

"Then I'm staying."

She expected a fight from the hot-headed Weasel. Actually, she was hoping for a fight. She could use an argument with someone who had some anger to diffuse but wanted to make a scene as little as she did at that moment. As well as someone who had very little ammunition against her and wasn't a family member or Draco.

"Fine."

_Fuck-a-doodle-do,_ she silently responded, deflating slightly from the irritating fact that Weasley refused to engage in battle with her.

All those years she had to endure the Weasel fighting with Granger and the one night she wanted a fight, the best source in giving her the fight she craved, refused her.

"Fine," she answered before allowing her body to go numb and her mind to go blank. It was the only way she got through the holiday season year in and year out.

_Who am I kidding?_ she thought. I_t's how I get through most days anymore_.

She tried desperately not to think about a past she couldn't change and a future that wouldn't. In these moments, she tried not to think of the what-ifs or the could-have-beens. She just tried to exist. To live her so called life. To focus on breathing. To determine her next witty comeback when her father and Draco bugged her about becoming a specter in her own life.

_Like I really have a choice_, she thought bitterly. _How could they think that my life would amount to anything else_?

Shaking that upsetting thought from her mind, she worked on focusing on the numbness so she could attempt to be genuinely happy the next time she spent time with her sisters – listening to them prattle on about their latest crush, dates to Hogsmeade, discussing their weddings, and future children – everything that had either been taken away from her or was never hers to start with.

"Parkinson." A voice broke her from her self-induced misery.

"What?" Her voice cracked as she turned to look at the source of the voice, having forgotten in her blissful mode of self-pity that she wasn't alone.

"Your refill," Ron replied, pushing a full glass her way. Adding quickly, "Hannah tried to ask you what you wanted."

"Thanks," she replied with a soft smile. Figuring the conversation was over, she turned her face back to stare at the crowd milling about and tried to use the music that was blaring in the background to bring her back to that empty place she clung to. She willed herself to avoid any lingering thoughts, that had started to crop up about the fight her and her father had been carrying on for the last three days.

"Bad day?" Ron asked as he unknowingly interrupted her journey to her blissful emptiness.

She took a sip from her glass, her eyes still on the crowd "Same as every Christmas. You?"

"Could've been a hell of a lot better."

There was something odd in his voice and it caused her to cock her head in surprise. Pansy turned her head to look at him. In all the years she had been tortured by his existence, she couldn't remember him looking so dejected.

And then

Her eyes focused on his large hands as she watched him play with his glass. First, swilling the liquor inside the glass, before taking a drink and placing it back on the table, running his fingers over the rim. Pansy found it oddly cathartic to watch him behave in the same manner, Draco had nagged her about many a time because he found it annoying.

"You have a bad Christmas every year?" he asked, staring at the glass in front of him.

"Yes," she said as she smiled a sad smile before spinning to face him. If only he knew that her smile was only from the thought of the irony of her situation – he probably would laugh. Christmas and the holidays, in general, were supposed to be a good time of year. Instead, she had a countdown marked in her calendar to help her prepare herself for the worst time of the year. "My parents host this aggravating Christmas Ball every year... I swear my mother pays men to follow me around with mistletoe. Making it one of my two least favorite days of the year."

"Should I even ask the other day?"

"New Year's Eve; when they host this slightly less aggravating New Year's Ball. At least there I only have to kiss one frog."

She watched him in awe as the smile that had started to form across his face grew even larger when he laughed. Pansy found herself marveling at him as he tossed his head causing his shaggy, long hair to flick. Jealousy grew inside her as she wished she could laugh like that, but reality came crashing down on her when she realized that she would have to enjoy life to do so. Gathering himself together, he asked, "So what are your feelings on Valentine's Day?"

"Don't ask. I'm just dreading the day my mother decides to start hosting a Valentine's Day Ball," she replied, trying to switch the course of the conversation away from her. Having grown uncomfortable about her being the focus of their conversation, she asked, "Enough about me, though. Why are you here on Christmas?"

"Same as you."

"You're hiding from my mother too?" she sassed, hoping he would laugh again.

To which she was rewarded.

"No, my mother," he explained before going quiet; as if the realization of why he was here at a bar on Christmas with the one person he probably hated as much as Draco as company suddenly dawned on him.

Pansy let him have his silence. She knew from experience that talking about your problems and your situation was vastly overrated.

After several minutes, she took a sip of her drink and momentarily lost her mind.

Offering the only olive branch she could think of, she gently told him, "I bet my mother is worse."

"I'll take that bet," Ron replied, finishing his drink and signaling for another. "What do I win?"

"I'll give you a bottle of the fire-whiskey my father gave me for Christmas. And what do I win?"

"Two tickets to the Cannons game against the Tornadoes."

"Deal," she said, grinning at the thought of two tickets to the upcoming Cannons game when she had the owner's box at her disposal. "Besides the aforementioned frogs that chase me around the ball with mistletoe, my mother spends the Christmas Ball making me dance with every eligible wizard that she invites. So I try to sneak out as soon as possible because there is no way she would actually treat me as an adult and allow me to leave with her knowledge. Well, maybe if I was married, but that is getting off topic."

"Back to the ball, though. I have to stay at least two hours or dance with ten frogs, who step on my feet and say nothing of any importance, before I leave. However, I have to be careful when I leave. Besides having to slip out undetected by her, I have to avoid my father, two sisters who find enjoyment in my pain, and all the house-elves. Oh, and then there's her friends. I have to find a way out from a house in the middle of fucking nowhere, because she insists the Christmas Ball be at the country home, undetected by all of their friends who are dying to marry me off to one of their sons."

"If after I successfully escape and my mother realizes that I'm not there, she immediately apparates to my house. If I'm there, she lets into me for leaving and is not above dragging me back to the party, where I will have a hous-elf glued to my side for the rest of the evening. However, if I'm not at my house, she thinks I've left with one of the frogs and will not pursue her search any longer. Long story short, I'm here, killing time until I can go safely home, tuck into bed, and forget this day happened yet again."

Ron whistled, "That's pretty good. But points should be deducted since you know how to escape. Anyway, mine might be a little better."

"Noted. I doubt it," she smiled, finishing her drink. "Let's hear it, Weasley."

"My mother utilized every opportunity she had today to pester me about proposing to Hermione. She was so busy pestering me that she never realized that Hermione only came over for 20 minutes before running back home to her parents, because they need her."

"My mother even had my three older brothers who know no better to not ask me about it pester me: one who lives in Romania and is more obsessed with dragons than girls; another one who is happily married, so he has turned into a little girl and thinks everyone should be as happy as he is; and then there is biggest prat of him them all who thinks he knows better than I do."

"Mind you, I have no way to escape her onslaught. I can't go to the store because it's closed and George would only keep dragging me back if I went to his apartment because torturing me has been his favorite sport since we were little."

"Oh, and my best friend? My mother only has to look at him in that certain way and he feels instantly guilty and will do her bidding. So if I go home, she will guilt him into dragging me back. Shockingly enough, he is such an awful liar that any relief Ginny can get me goes underutilized because he will cave when my mother turns to look at him. I was only able to get away when my supposed best friend and my little sister decided to leave forty minutes ago."

"So I have just spent the entire day being bugged about marrying a girl who can't seem to stand to be around me for longer than 30 minutes every few weeks."

"No offense, I still don't see how that is worse," Pansy replied. Grateful, that two drinks appeared and not one. "Points should be docked because at least you had an ally. My only possible ally thinks my situation is so hilarious that he would rather tattle on me and watch me suffer my mother's wrath then help me. In case you are wondering, he did that last year's Christmas Ball."

"Noted. But my mother," Ron continued, "is so set on me and Hermione getting married that she can't see that our relationship has been struggling for now going on two years now. Not that anyone else has paid any attention to that either. If I have to hear, 'But you belong together,' one more time from someone in my family I might actually punch something or someone."

One look at him, told Pansy that his situation was definitely worse than hers. Deep down, she knew her mother was only putting forth the matchmaking effort for appearances, where as Ron's mother was genuinely interfering and making him miserable, albeit with the best intentions. Trying her most pensive look she could muster, she wondered out loud, "Two years, you say."

"Two years."

Lifting her glass to Ron, she grinned and lied, "I concede. I'd rather deal with a matchmaking mother then one who has already picked out your children's names. You win."

"Thank you," he replied with a large smile, clinking his glass with hers.

Shaking her head slightly and a grin still on her face, she continued, "I'll have the bottle sent over tomorrow. Where do you want me to send it?"

"The store. In the evening, if you don't mind. Any earlier and George will drink it," Ron replied. "Send it to my house and my sister will drink it."

"You're kidding me, right?"

"What? Don't your siblings take your stuff for the sake of taking it?"

"My sisters are almost 8 years younger than me. I've actually never lived with them outside of an occasional holiday."

Ron shook his head, "Not everyone is so lucky."

"I know," Pansy responded before finishing her drink. She turned to see if she could flag down two more glasses and,, to her disappointment, she saw a flash of bright red hair come into the Leaky Cauldron. Turning back to face Ron, she broke the bad news to him with a forced smile, knowing she needed to exit as quickly and quietly as possible. "Well, whether you like it or not, I think your family is about to descend upon you. And I doubt you want to add any more to your misery."

Standing up, she started to pull out her share but Ron grabbed her forearm to stop her.

"My treat," he said with a smile. "Get out of here before they see you."

"Thanks," Pansy said before turning and sliding into the crowd. Like earlier, she hung her head forward enough that her shoulder length hair covered her face. Keeping her walk quick, confident and aggressive, she quickly weaved through the crowd and out of the Leaky Cauldron and onto a deserted street in Muggle London.

Pulling the hood up on her black cloak as snow began to fall again, she started to walk towards a street where she knew she could catch a cab. While she walked her mind drifted back to how she just killed a couple of drinks with a certain red-head who had irritated her throughout their time at Hogwarts together. Though he didn't seem quite as irritating as he had been in their youth.

Pansy realized that she wasn't the same person, now that she didn't have to act a certain way twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. She was, however, surprised to see just how different he had become. Physically, he was even more impressive; his frame had filled out. He wasn't lanky anymore. Well in relative words. He looked like a man now – instead of a boy. And that hair. Pansy let out a chuckle, thinking about how it was way too long for a guy, but it looked good on him. It gave him a youthful, playful image while still looking like an adult. Just what he needed to run a store that catered to children and people who wanted to act like one. But there was something else that was different. He seemed vastly older than twenty-one. His eyes, especially. There seem to be more behind those blue eyes then he was letting on and that intrigued her. The Weasley she remembered had this knack of saying whatever he thought, in the most blunt and rude manner. Now he seemed to think before he spoke; making him somehow older and wiser. And definitely more dangerous.

Her mind was so far gone, thinking about him and the improbable manner in which she had spent her evening, that she didn't realize that she had walked all the way to her flat without ever flagging a cab. Shaking her head at the realization that she had let her mind wander so badly, she desperately tried not to think of how much danger she put herself in. She figured that at least she had finish killing an appropriate amount of time, to safely arrive at her flat.

Seeing her bright crimson door, which Draco kept begging her to change, she quickly climbed the stairs to the front door and disappeared inside. Upon putting her cloak in the entry closet she frowned as she caught a glimpse at Draco's evening cloak already hanging. With a couple quick flicks of her wrist, she transformed her boots into flats and her belt instantly became a floor length satin black skirt that coordinated with the black halter top she had on and hid her jeans. Anyone who had seen her earlier at the ball would not know that she hadn't been dressed this way all evening.

Regardless, she wasn't in any hurry to experience the attack she anticipated from Draco who found her suffering at the hands of her parents enjoyable. After lingering as long as she could in the hall, she lazily made her way into the kitchen, which was oddly the first room one entered in her flat and set about making a cup of cocoa.

She was about to turn and head into the front parlor and up the stairs to the sanctuary of her bedroom, when she heard Draco's lazy voice in its naturally cruel manner. "I'm impressed. For once, I didn't see you leave."

Pansy shook her head before turning around to face him. Leaning back against the counter, she nonchalantly gripped the mug with two hands, "I don't know what you mean," she replied before taking a sip.

"Yes you do," he continued, leaning up against the door frame. "You haven't lasted past ten at the Christmas Ball since we were twelve. Except for maybe last year, so where did you go?"

"What's it to you as long as I was safe?" she taunted as her foot started to tap, wanting to beat that smirk off his face. However, she settled on letting her mouth run wild. "I don't belong to you anymore. In fact, I seem to recall it's the other way around these days."

Draco's face grew dark as she matched his glare with her own.

"Didn't your father teach you anything about choosing your battles," she smirked, unable to stop even if she wanted to.

"It was a simple question, not an invitation to do battle. Would you mind not tapping your bloody foot?" he growled, his hand pinching his nose.

She complied and watched him stand back up, his eyes narrowing even further, "You know, I think I liked you better when you were nothing more than a prop."

There was a time that those words would have stung, but now, she was just past caring. Pansy just continued to sip her cocoa, keeping her eyes on Draco as he struggled to keep his cool.

"You know," she started casually, feeling like twisting the knife a bit further, "I was under the impression that I still was. At least, that's what it feels like. But we can owl your mother to see if she feels the same way. Oh, wait, this wasn't how the spell was supposed to work, was it?"

Draco's thin grasp on his temper snapped at that very moment. The sound of his fist connecting with the door frame echoed through the ground floor of her flat. Pansy watched as he starred at the dent in the door frame, while opening and closing his right fist. She should have just let him have his fun and tease her but she just found herself not wanting to take it. Having spent so much time lately fighting with her father, she was unwilling to let anyone else get to the high ground before she did. .

"I'm going to bed," she started pushing away from the counter and moving across the kitchen. "Night."

Draco's eyes never left whatever he was starring at as he mumbled, "Night."

Pansy walked past him and up the stairs. She was half way up the stairs when she heard glass start to break. Sighing, she continued up the first flight. Pansy heard the furniture start to break when she started on the second flight. And as it had every time before, since they moved into this flat, Draco stopped breaking stuff by the time she finished climbing the third flight of stairs to get to her bedroom suite.

Guilt started to eat at her by that time. Pansy knew she was completely in the wrong for pushing him to this point. It had been months since she had pushed him this far.

Suddenly remembering her promise to him all those months ago, she found herself frozen in place, unable to go to her bedroom but unwilling to go back down stairs and apologize.

Sighing, Pansy took a seat on the top of the stairs. She knew what had happen years ago wasn't Draco's fault. He had been as much of a pawn in his father's twisted plan as she had been both times. No matter how many times she had tried to tell Draco over the years, he just couldn't stop feeling guilty of the damage done to her and, when her temper got the better of her, she couldn't bring herself to let him forget it.

No matter how much she adored the man who had been her everything for so long.

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_A/N: beta'd by the wonderful AlexandriaMalfoy_


	2. Chapter 2 Nothing Goes Right

Chapter 2 – Nothing Goes Right

Pansy didn't think the word cranky did justice to what she was feeling right now. She should have been at home, in the comfort of her bedroom hiding from her parents on the bank holiday. But no, she had to be called into work because for some unknown reason Potter had decided that the Aurors needed her and her alone on standby while they went on a raid. He had completely overlooked the simple fact that it wasn't her turn to pick up the extra potions work from the Aurors. To top it off, she had only gotten about an hour's worth of sleep, trying to find the words to apologize to Draco. However, she hadn't apologized, hadn't gotten any sleep, and the combination was adding to her dark mood.

After standing around twiddling her fingers for the first hour in her lab as she waited to be called to either go to the scene or receive instructions, she went to work on a new batch of Veritaserum to alleiviate her boredom. However as time passed, and no work from the field came in, Pansy became frustrated. She was now stuck at work, working on something that could have waited. Putting the finishing touches on the new batch, she started to arrange the vials that needed to be filled. Pansy had yet to figure out how the Aurors managed to go through Veritaserum as quickly as they did. She had, on more than one occasion, gone to her boss about her concerns, but she had been shut down and quickly reminded that her job as a potions master was just to make the damn potion – not to question its use.

With a wave of her wand, the vials started to fill themselves while she began to clean up the rest of her lab. That was the only nice thing about being the potion master assigned to the Department of Mysteries, she had a lab all to herself; while the other four who were on rotation had to share one lab. With no annoying co-workers to bug her, she was able to focus on her work without suffering through a barrage of questions she had no desire to answer.

It was seven thirty in the evening before she finished everything up. Picking up her bag to head out the door, the bottle of fire-whiskey she had slipped inside before running out the front door this morning caught her attention.

"Bloody hell!" she cussed out loud. She had planned on stepping out earlier to have the bottle delivered to Ron, but it was too late to do that now.

Seeing that she had nothing better to do this evening and no overriding desire to hurry home, only to get into it again with Draco, she figured she would just take it by the store herself. Using the Floo Network, she Flooed to Diagon Alley. As was her habit when she was in Diagon Alley, she pulled the rubber band out of her hair, letting her hair fall down in order to cover her face. She was already in a foul enough mood as it was; she didn't feel like having someone worsen her mood in order to make them feel better about themselves.

It was nearly eight P.M. by the time the store came into sight. Granted with all the bright colors and lights, it wasn't hard to miss. Walking up to the door, she saw that it was extremely close to closing time making it the best news she had heard all day. Because it would mean that Ron would be itching to get home, she could make a quick escape back to the sanctuary that had escaped her in the last twenty-four hours.

Taking a deep breath to settle the case of nerves that seem to take over her as she reached for the handle, she opened the door and she walked into the blinding light and color that was Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes.

"Can I help you?" Pansy heard Ron call from somewhere in the store. Looking around quickly before she responded, she breathed a sigh of relief that it appeared that there was no one else in the store.

"No," she called back, walking over to the elevated counter where people could pay for their goods. "But I think I can help you. I have the bottle of fire-whiskey I owe you. "

"Thank Merlin," Ron replied moving towards the front of the store. "I thought you were one of those annoying customers that come in just before the shop is supposed to close...Weren't you just going to have that sent over?"

"I was," she said turning to face him, "but I had the bad fortune to be called into work by eight this morning and I've only just got away."

"So much for asking if you had a better day today?" he grinned.

"Let's not go there," she replied, setting the bottle on the counter, purposefully turning the label away from him so he couldn't say anything until after she left. " However, the countdown to New Year's has begun and then I'll be free and clear of my mother's matchmaking parties for another three hundred and fifty-eight days. Well, I'll let you get closed up. Enjoy the bottle."

She was almost at the door when she heard him call out, "You don't have to go."

"I figured you would want to get the shop closed up and head home to empty that bottle," Pansy replied, turning to look at him without panic etched all over her face, in spite of it racking her internal system. "Merlin knows there's a bottle of wine waiting for me when I get home."

"Actually, it would be nice to have the company," Ron said pulling the blinds on the windows.

Pansy cocked her head to look at him trying to figure out what was motivating him. She wasn't used to anyone who wasn't family being nice to her, which made her extremely uneasy. No one since the War especially, regardless of exactly what she and her father controlled in the Wizarding world. Studying his face, she decided that he seemed to be genuine in regards to his offer.

"Are you sure?" she asked, starting to wonder what parallel universe she had entered when a purported foe was nice while the one she considered to be her best friend was the pain in her arse.

"I wouldn't offer otherwise," he said bluntly. "Anyway, there's liquor already here," she watched as he summoned two glasses which landed next to the bottle, "and now there are two glasses."

"Oh." Pansy knew she should just leave, but the prospect of having company with someone who wouldn't antagonize her or question every little decision she made in her life like she was four was, in the end, to much for her to pass up. "One drink." she motioned with her hands.

"See, that wasn't hard," Ron said, locking the front door. "Are you always this suspicious?"

"Yes. Aren't you suspicious of me?"

"Of course," he said, moving towards her.

"Then why are you being nice?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "Why are you?"

He had her there. Shaking her head, she replied, "I don't know either."

"Do you think we've lost our minds?" she asked, climbing up on the counter to have a seat. At that very moment, she realized just how tall he was. And she thought Draco was tall. Ron had to have at least four or five inches on Draco. It amazed her that she finally could look him directly in the eye without looking up.

"Only explanation," he replied with a laugh, picking up the bottle. She watched him spin the bottle in his hand to look at the label. Biting her lip, she prepared herself for the worse as his eyes widen. Turning to face her, he asked, "Parkinson, are you sure?"

She nodded her head, "I put it up. Don't fret," she lied, "I'll just pilfer another one from my father's liquor cabinet on New Years." She figured that he didn't need to know that there were eleven more bottles of it at her flat

"If you're sure..."

"Just pour the damn drinks, Weasel," she fussed. "Circe, it's only a bottle of fire-whiskey"

"And one that costs 100 galleons a bottle," he said under his breath as he poured the drink. Pansy was sure she wasn't supposed to hear it, and bit her tongue in order not to let the insult she had there come out.

He handed her a drink. "So what should we toast?"

"To determined mothers?" Pansy smirked, taking a glass out of his outstretched hands. "Or bad Christmases?"

"Determined mothers," Ron grinned. "Without mine, I wouldn't be drinking this."

"Cheers then," she replied, clinking her glass with his before taking a drink. "Still as good as ever."

She noticed a questioning look on Ron's face. "It's my favorite. My father gets me some every Christmas. Drives my mother crazy."

"Why?"

"Weasel, don't you know anything? You aren't supposed to give a girl fire-whiskey for Christmas, or for her birthday, for that matter."

"Your father gives you fire-whiskey for your birthday?" Ron asked, amazed, as he cast a charm to start cleaning the shop.

"Yes. It's better than all the clothes and jewelry my mother gives me that I end up returning," she smiled, feeling more relaxed than she had in some time. That realization bothered her, but she tried not to focus on it. And then, before she could stop herself, she blurted out, "Do you want some help?"

She watched as Ron stopped what he was doing to just look at her. She suddenly felt naked the way his bright blue eyes just stared at her in amazement. Pansy bit her lower lip and started to fiddle with her hands. She hated it when people stared at her. It had been the worst part of her Hogwarts existence, that she had to make people look and stare at her. She especially hated the way Ron was looking at her because she couldn't quite anticipate his reaction, and her ability to anticipate a person's next move had become the survival technique she depended on more than anything else.

"No, that's okay," he replied, snapping out of whatever train of thought he had slipped into. "I didn't think Slytherins did any of their own cleaning. Isn't that what house-elves are for?"

Pansy found herself offended at first until her brain registered that he, Ron Weasley, was teasing her. No one teased her. Taunted, yes. Scolded, yes. Teased, never in a million years. She found her jaw moving up and down but nothing coming out. He noticed, her inability to form any sound or words at the moment, leading him to let out a loud, robust laugh that filled the store.

"Kneazle got your tongue, Parkinson?" he gasped.

All Pansy could come up with at the moment was to stick her tongue out at him, which only caused him to laugh harder; Pansy found herself starting to laugh at the sheer stupidity of the situation in which she found herself. She had never known laughter to be so infectious or contagious, depending on you looked at it.

Somehow her ability to speak properly came back. "I'll have you know, Weasel, that I manage to keep my flat clean without the help of a house-elf."

"Better not let your Slytherin pals know. They may just kick you out of your House."

As she took a long sip, a smirk covered her face. "I haven't gotten kicked out yet."

It was Ron's turn to be left speechless, which made Pansy feel just a tiny bit better about him getting the best of her earlier. Throwing him a bone, a smile stretched across her face as she told him, "Malfoy, Nott, Goyle – they all know."

"You're kidding me," he choked out. "I thought you came..."

She cut him off, "Yes. But I like my privacy a lot more. And really, it seems really silly to have a house-elf when it's just you and your roommate. Though there have been times I wanted one, just to deal with Draco's slovenliness."

"I bet he has nothing on me," Ron joked back, having finally regained his voice. "I have to make a path just to get to bed on a regular basis. Drives everyone, including Harry's house-elf, insane."

"But are you dirty or just plain messy?" she asked, pouring herself another drink.

"Messy."

"That's better. Draco has had a house-elf wiping his ass for so long, I'm surprised that he even knows how to do that," Pansy thought that comment alone would elicit another laugh from Ron. The loud roar that came out of his mouth was her reward.

"Wow," Ron said after a few moments. "If you say that about your flat mate, what do you say about your enemies?"

Out of nowhere, her anger flared inside her suddenly and she snapped, venom raging through her voice. "Azkaban is too good for his rotting soul." She threw back the rest of her drink.

The burn of the alcohol going down her throat brought her back to reality. The rush of shame flowed through her body, as she realized that for the first time she had actually vocalized what she thought about Lucius Malfoy. Blushing, she sat down her glass and slid off the counter. She couldn't bring herself to look in Ron's direction. Here he was being nice and she had to act like a bloody fool. She had basically admitted to something, she couldn't explain to a living soul outside the family.

"I'm sorry. I was out of line," she stuttered, grabbing her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. "I'll just get out of here and let you finish cleaning up in peace and quiet before I completely ruin your evening."

She had almost made it to the door when she felt a hand grab her and pull her back. She felt her body come back into contact with his. Pansy knew he was only being nice and trying to comfort her, but she fought back struggling to get out of his grip. She was so embarrassed and ashamed of her behavior at that very moment that it was struggle to hold back the few tears that hadn't yet escaped her eyes.

"Please, just let me out of here," she begged. She heard the door unlock, and pulling her arm out of his hand, she ran out the front door towards the Leaky Cauldron.

"Pansy!" she heard Draco's voice call out to her from behind. Stopping on a dime, she spun and ran straight to him. Colliding with him hard, her arms wrapping around his neck, she felt him stumble back a few steps to regain his balance as he wrapped his arms around her. Sobbing into the crook of his neck, she tried to listen to the soft words he was whispering in her ear to no avail as he rubbed her lower back in an attempt to calm her down.

"Take me home Draco," she cried. "Please take me home."

She heard Draco sigh but did as she told him to do, Apparating them to the sitting room of their shared flat.

Pansy let him hold her a little while longer in the sitting room, but only because he didn't ask what had upset her. She didn't even fight him when he swept her up into his arms and carried her to bed. At that point, she finally had run out of tears and found herself too tired to fight him regardless. Giving into sleep, she didn't realize that he had tucked her safely into bed until the morning sun woke her.

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_A/N: Beta for this chapter is the amazing Nicole aka 'In Between The Stars' of Perfect Imagination_


	3. Chapter 3 Mental One, Part I

**Disclaimer: **Only the idea.

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"Sod it all to hell!" Pansy yelled, throwing a nearby jar of toad eyes against the wall after a putrid smelling gas started emerging from her cauldron as the liquid turned puce. She continued her tirade by launching every jar that was in reach and screaming "Bloody Potion!" with every jar that crashed against the wall.

"I didn't know cussing a potion while throwing ingredients was a step in potion making. Maybe I should have paid more attention to Snape's lectures after all," a casual voice said from behind, seemingly unaffected by her tirade.

Pansy spun around to find Ron Weasley casually leaning against the closed door to her lab. She watched as a grin spread across his face making her feel self-conscious. Gods, she hated that feeling. Especially now because she knew she looked a mess. Her hair which she typically had pulled neatly back within an hour of being in the lab today had been transformed into a rat's next piled on her head, held in place by a couple of quills and frankly who knows what else she jabbed up there. Her protective eye wear was perched on the top of her head. Given that she had a private lab, she always went without the regulation robe and preferred to just wear work boots, jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt. Worst of all due to her lack of success this morning, more of the various attempts at this particular potion that was on her cloths. Oh and she couldn't forget the splatter from her latest tirade which was probably on her face too as well as her cloths.

"What are you doing here?" she asked wiping some sweat and who knows what else off her forehead with the back of hand trying to reclaim some semblance of being calm and collected. She knew she was failing miserably on that accord. At the moment, she was anything but calm and collected.

"Did you know your flatmate has a big mouth?" Ron asked, pulling her chair from behind the desk to sit in it. She envied his natural casualness.

Narrowing her eyes suspiciously, Pansy carefully asked, "Gossips like a bloody girl is more like it."

"True," Ron replied, leaning back in the chair and propping his feet up on her crowded desk. "Overheard him in the store last night asking Goyle if one of the Whizbangs up your arse would break the funk that you've been in the past few days. Want to talk about it?"

"No," she snapped. She didn't want to talk about it at all. She especially did not want to talk about it with the red head sitting in her chair, in her lab, probably putting who knows what on her paperwork, when she was already in a temper about something else. Most importantly, she wanted to be left alone so she could make plans for just how she was going to castrate the Ferret tonight with dull, rusted instruments and display her work on pikes, perhaps on the London Bridge. Until she admitted to herself that all that work may be a bit much, for something so small. "How did you know where I worked?"

"Told you. Your flatmate has a big mouth."

"He only knows I work at the Ministry," she snapped back, starting to tap her foot.

"And so does my best mate."

"Doesn't tell you how you found my lab."

"That's my little secret," Ron grinned, completely unaffected by the temper tantrum Pansy was working herself slowly back into, annoying her any further. Even Goyle, slow and as thick headed as he was, knew better than to hang around when she got into this foul of a mood. "Anyway, I think everyone knows where you work today with the amount of cussing you've were doing when I first came in. By the way, I'm impressed, I thought I had a vulgar mouth but I'm as innocent as a unicorn when it comes to yours. Mind giving me lessons sometime?"

Her tantrum quickly iced. Pansy paled as she stopped tapping her foot. She didn't think anyone could hear her with the door closed, at least that was what her worthless boss told her when she had been shown her lab for the first time. If that was true that meant she would be faced with another write-up awaiting her signature when she got in tomorrow morning courtesy of one Mr. Percy Weasley.

_Great_, she thought, _so much for not getting one every month this year_. _And I had been on a roll too; having gone six weeks without one._

"How do you think I found your lab?" Ron teased breaking her out of her thoughts.

"I thought that was your little secret?" she retorted with a huff, glaring back with her arms across her chest, her foot starting to tap again.

Ron just ignored her tantrum, adding to Pansy's annoyance by simply replying, "Guess I gossip like a bloody girl too. Is that a trait you bring out in guys? Or just the ones who dare to tango with you?"

Pansy tried but she couldn't help the smile that slowly stretched across her face, giving in with a sigh and a shake of her head, "So what do you want Weasley?"

"Told you. Heard you were in a bit of a funk."

"I'm always in a bit of a funk," she replied softly, leaning back against the counter she was near. "Have you merely forgotten that from our school days? Or did you not pick that up from the Ferret's gossiping?"

"Does he know you call him that?"

"Yes. But we don't know if he knows that Goyle does."

Ron's laughter filled the room. Pansy didn't know how but that sound was making her feel better. She let another smile emerge and went back to where her most recent failure was still simmering in a cauldron. A flick of her wrist made the sour smelling potion disappear.

"That's better," she said out loud not to anyone in particular.

Setting her wand on the counter, she walked towards the blackboard where she had sketched out instructions and started to erase them. Pansy could feel Ron's eyes upon her but it was oddly cathartic. He didn't seem to mind silence in the presence of another person like she did and it was refreshing. Gods know that Draco never seemed to have learned the lesson of how to shut up. A silent room seemed to be his version of purgatory.

"What are you working on?" Ron's voice finally broke the silence.

"Just trying to determine the identity of a potion that some Aurors brought in," Pansy explained, rewriting the ingredients again on a newly cleaned blackboard. "However, I can't seem to get anywhere with it. Being a bit stuck at the moment I've been reduced to simply cussing the potion, and its ingredients into oblivion."

"Is this what you do everyday?"

"Not everyday. Sometimes I just brew potions that the ministry needs. Other days I mainly do a lot of reading and testing as part of my own research for the ministry as a potion master."

"Do you like what you do?"

"I actually do," she snapped, turning around to face him. "But everyone's allowed to have a bad day at work don't you think?"

"Of course I do," Ron said kicking back in the chair and resting his feet on the desk again, she wondered when he had taken them down in the first place. "I had one the other day."

"As bad as me filling my lab with putrid smelling gases at least seven times in the last two hours?" she replied, setting down her chalk and climbing up on to table to sit. It had quickly becoming obvious to her that she wasn't going to get anything important accomplished with him sitting less than ten feet away from her.

"Nothing like that," he said, putting his hands behind his head. "I had this mental girl in the store who got all embarrassed over getting upset. Don't really understand why she did. We've all got our demons. War kind of does that. Especially when most of us where kids when we we fought in it."

"A mental girl?" Pansy asked feeling the heat rise to her face.

"Absolutely off her rocker. I hear living in the dungeons will do that to person," Ron's whole face lit up as he teased her. "Is that true?"

"Is that why you're here?"

"Nah," he continued. "I came here to warn you about your flatmate wanting to shove Whizbangs up your arse. I figure I owe you for chipping in such a good bottle of fire-whiskey for swapping sob stories on Christmas."

"And frankly, how do you know the mental girl is you? Do you know how many mental girls come into the store? I mean there's my sister for starters and Luna Lovegood's usually not far behind her. We all know that despite being one of the sweetest people alive, Luna pretty much takes the cake when it comes to mental girls."

"That she does," Pansy grinned as she relaxed. She wasn't entirely sure how he was able to disarm her so easily but she found herself starting not to care. "So about this absolutely mental girl?"

"Is welcome to go mental anytime she wants in the store – after closing that is. Can't be scarring off the customers," he told her standing up. "I better let you get back to swearing your potion into next year. Heaven forbid you should slack at work."

"Ron," Pansy called out as he reached the door. "Thank you."

"Not a problem. Anytime, " he said with a smile. Pansy watched him open the door and walk out as he quickly looked back at her with a soft smile before closing the door behind him.

She sat on the table for several minutes after he closed the door behind him. Just staring at the door. Wondering how the bloody hell did Ron Weasley become a part of her life. And if the feeling inside her was indicative of anything, an important part of her life. More shocking and confusing to her – exactly how the bloody hell she became a part of his.

It was only a few days ago that they had become reacquainted and civilized to each other. In her logical, potion driven mind – nothing about his visit made sense. Especially after she behaved like a fool in the store the other night. The whole situation was absolutely irrational, illogical, and more than absolutely insane. How could they be friends? They were night and day. He was a noble Griffyndor and she was a snarky Slytherin. He was a war hero, she was, well she was the Anti-Christ of the Battle of Hogwarts. They were by all intents and purposes incompatible --

Then it hit her. She knew what she was doing wrong with the potion. Sort of.

Scrambling back to the board, time seem to slip by as she scribbled out her idea and went to work on the potion. Two ingredients that she had identified in the potion had surprised her – morning glory and wormwood. It was well known that they clashed in potion making by intensifying the other's hallucinatory properties to fatal proportions; both being powerful and deadly hallucinogens by themselves. She had been trying to make them work together on their own. But she just had realized that she hadn't tried adding them at the same time – especially if they were prepared the same way. And maybe stewed first together. At that point, her mind officially went on overdrive.

After a few attempts, the smell the potion started to emit tugged at something Professor Snape had once told her about a particular potion during her individual potion lessons. A potion that had a distinctive woodsy smell. Why couldn't see remember what that exact potion was?

Hell, she couldn't even remember just what type of woodsy smell Professor Snape had said. Was it grass or trees? Or was it something else? What do people smell in the sodding woods?

Charming a spoon to stir every 10 minutes, she started to pulling books out of her many bookcases that took up two walls in her lab. She found herself looking for any clue or hint that would trigger exactly what Professor Snape had told her. As her frustration mounted, she started slinging discarded books away when they couldn't provide her with the answer she needed immediately onto the floor.

A few more hours later and her office looked like someone had set a bomb off in it. Pansy, herself, herself was surrounded on the floor with books and parchments.

Suddenly, the potion started to give off a new smell. No longer woodsy in quality, it was the smell of –

Her heart stopped and the book she was holding tumbled from her hands. Jumping up, she took off out of her office. She was half-way down the hallway before she remembered she left her office open.

Running back, she pulled the door close and sealed it so no one else could enter it before running back towards the Auror offices. Specifically towards the Auror who had charged her with the project at break neck speed. Fortunately for her, it was already past 6pm and most of the ministry employees were gone for the day. She slid to a stop at Potter's cube out of breath.

"Got it," she said breathing heavily.

"Got what Parkinson?" Potter growled not looking up from the paperwork on his desk. His head barely clearing the mounds of paperwork he had piled up. She never understood how he could work like that or find anything for that matter.

"The potion you captured on the Boxing Day raid. I know what it is," she gasped, trying to catch her breath. Adding quietly, "And it's not good."

"Of course it's not good," he snapped, not looking up, "We did take it from Bartholomew's place. Tell me something I don't already know."

"Maybe I'm not being clear on my definition of 'it's not good'," she snapped back, still trying to collect her breathing, casting a privacy charm on Potter's cube with a flick of her wrist. "I know what the potion is and it is so bad it makes Voldermort look like nothing more than a spoiled child and Greyback a sad little puppy."

That got his attention. His head popped up immediately.

"What the bloody hell is it?" his green eyes narrowed suspiciously as he collected himself. Pansy hated it when he doubted her on projects that came under his directive. Especially the ones where he went over her boss' head and had Kingsley assign them to her.

Out of annoyance, she started to tap her foot, to feel a little more in control before replying, "It's a precursor to veritaserum that was banned in the 14th century."

"And it's not good because?"

"It extracts the truth from the victim through pain and hallucinations," she lowered her voice. "It will eventually kill whoever ingests it after making them go mad first."

Potter starred at her, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes, "Mad? That's all? I'm still not seeing how this is possibly Voldermort-bad, Parkinson."

"Potter. This potion is the reason werewolves exist."


	4. Chapter 3 Mental One, Part II

**Disclaimer: Only the idea.**

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"What?" Potter mouthed as his jaw dropped.

Pansy breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that she finally had his complete attention now.

"The potion was called Lycanserum. The people who were subjected to it would claim that it felt as if they were bitten by wolves. Lycanserum victims also described experiencing these horrible visions of watching the wolves bite them as well as transform during a full moon."

"The word, lycanthropy, initially only describe the effects of the potion on people. The serum fell out of favor for two reasons: one it ultimately created werewolves and they never found an antidote to it; the other is that it came to the Ministry's attention that werewolves could create other werewolves through bites during their transformations."

"Mind you that only a couple of individuals who were subjected to the Lycanserum ever escaped from the Ministry. I can find 15 known escapees from about 10,000 people they used the serum on, in the 150 years it was commonly used. And yes, the Ministry did knowingly use the serum in spite knowing that it changed people into werewolves – they were just executing them instead of letting them go or finding other means of interrogation. Well at least until public outcry changed their mind in 1375 when Hogwarts was attacked by a pack of werewolves killing 5 children."

"You are telling me that the used this without an antidote?" Harry whispered.

"That's exactly what I'm telling you," she replied as Potter grew even more silent. His hands started to rub his temples as if he was in pain. Though Pansy didn't quite understand why he looked to be in so much pain at the moment. Abruptly, his head popped up, his eyes starting to glare at her. She didn't understand what she had done, scooting a bit further back in her chair to regain some distance from an irate Potter. It wasn't like it was her fault that the Aurors' had captured a potion that had been banned for over 600 years.

"Could you stop tapping your foot?"

"Oh," she gasped. "Sorry."

She waited patiently, for him to recover, taking a seat in the spare chair in the cubical with her feet under her so she could hopefully control her fidgeting. She didn't have to wait long before he asked, "So there is no known antidote? Even now?"

Sighing, Pansy shook her head, "Correct on both accounts. Potter, I don't know how anyone made the potion to begin with. I can't find the directions written anywhere in my library and I have all of Professor Snape's books. If it isn't in there, I don't think it exists in writing anymore. I can check the Malfoy library but I doubt it's there either. I know Professor Snape cleaned out many of the more dangerous potions books out of that library years ago."

"Can I ask you then how do you know what the potion is?"

"Because I just made it by pure dumb luck," she whispered. "Professor Snape had mentioned the potion briefly when he was teaching me the wolfsbane potion. I found descriptions of it in some older texts but I haven't come across complete instructions, or even partial instructions. In fact, even the descriptions are limited; most of them focusing on the smell it emits when it is finished."

"Potter, the potion I managed to brew today meets all the physical descriptives I can find. It's a match. I know it."

"Are you absolutely, positively sure?"

"You can come back with me and do the test yourself but there is no doubt in my mind that it is not only a match but what it is. Given the smell it put out before I took off here."

"And what smell is that?"

"Blood."

Potter just stared at her wide eye, not saying anything. She started to fidget with her hands.

"Please don't do that," he asked, "Do you think you could make it again?"

"Yes."

"How about an antidote? Do you think you could come up with one?"

"That I don't know. The easy part about antidotes is figuring out the quantities and ingredients. What Slughorn never taught you all is that the hard part is putting it together – which is more of an art and a great deal of luck rather than following scientific logic" she truthfully responded. Sighing, "Anyway, wizards worked on it for two hundred years before that potion was banned. If Professor Snape, the potion master who perfected the wolfsbane potion, never came up with anything, I seriously doubt that I can."

"Your lab is private isn't it?"

"Completely off topic Potter but of course it is. You know that."

"Lock the captured sample in your lab. If anyone asks just tell them you are still working on it."

"What if they want the sample?"

"Give them something else that looks like it. I know you can come up with something convincing. Hell probably could fool the other four Potion Masters."

"Potter..." she growled, thinking in her head how many Ministry rules that would break. She couldn't get away with breaking that many rules though she had no doubt in her mind that Saint Potter could.

Potter sighed leaning back in his chair. Pansy could tell his mind was elsewhere as he spoke, "Destroy the sample you made and any notes you have regarding it. If you need paperwork, to show your boss that you have been working on it – fake it. I don't want anyone to know how to make this potion. Or that there is someone who can that isn't you. Off the record, see what you can do about an antidote."

"Why?" she asked apprehensively. Though it was well known that Potter was willing to bend and break any rule he needed to get the job done. It wasn't everyday that Potter asked anyone else to break the rules. She would be lying to herself, if she wasn't slightly concerned about him even asking her to do so.

"Thinking we need to be prepared."

She knew he was lying but she wasn't going to push it, despite all her reservations about knowingly breaking Ministry protocol in a criminal case against this latest outcrop of dark wizards. Unfortunately, she knew she desperately needed a break from her research anyway, it was just so depressing to work day in and day out on something she was incapable of experiencing.

Not wanting to reveal her true motivations for acquiescing to his request, because she was frankly unsure of how honest Potter was with her father, she pointed out, "If that's the case, then why not tell Percy and I can devote all my time to it, especially here in my lab without my research and other responsibilities as a distraction."

"I'd rather not get him involved. I thought you liked a challenge. Especially one that was forbidden. And one that could potentially keep you out of your father's office and your mother's social calendar. As well as suitably distracted from your research," Potter whispered leaning forward, a knowing smirk stretching across his face. Pansy started to squirm under his stare. She hated him at that very moment because they both knew, he had her where he wanted her. "So, isn't the prospect of this particular challenge outside of your research and normal duties enough for you to bite? Literally?"

She sat and gave Potter the impression that she was contemplating it when it actuality, she had already made her mind up. Pansy didn't want him to know that he was absolutely, positively 100% right in her motivations to take on this little project under the radar. After a few minutes, she sighed signaling her acquiescence with a wave of her hand.

"Sod it. Fine but don't get your hopes up," Pansy sighed, figuring she could find a valid reason to avoid her family and familiar commitments out of this project somehow. "You know you are asking for the impossible."

"I don't care," he replied. Suddenly, his eyes narrowed as he glared at her and warned, "You can't tell anyone about this."

"No shit Potter. I may be a Slytherin but I'm no idiot. Remember I'm not the only one breaking the rules here. Though you will be forgiven if we get discovered and I'll be thrown in Azkaban," she said, her eyes traveling to an old picture from their Hogwarts days on his desk with him, Granger, and a bunch of Weasley's waving back. Their eyes met glare for glare until they were both satisfied that the other wasn't going to say anything. "Just keep in mind that Percy Weasley has been trying to find a way to fire me for since the moment Kingsley hired me."

"I know."

Pansy failed in masking her surprise as Potter he leaned back in his chair again, "You keep forgetting that you are the best of the Potion Masters no matter what the big head boy might squawk about. Why do you think you are requested so often?"

"So stop worrying. No one will let him remove you from your position as long as you want to be here. So please, listen to me when I tell you to stop worrying about all the write ups that Percy makes you sign... It's not like they actually make it into your file anyway."

She knew he was right. She knew Arthur Weasley was right when he told her the same thing. Same with John Dawlish and Kingsley himself. But she couldn't understand why they didn't understand how much it bothered her to work for a boss who was constantly trying to have her fired. Figuring this wasn't the time to go into it with Potter, Pansy didn't say anything as she took dismantled the privacy charm and took her leave of Potter's cube.

Forty-five minutes and several cleaning charms later, Pansy found herself standing in the empty ministry lobby looking like an idiot as she tried to decide if she should just go home or head over to Diagon Alley. As she thought about it, tapping her foot in frustration, she fought the internal battle over what she should do.

She knew what she really wanted to do. And what she should do. What her mother would tell her to do. What her father would tell her to do. What Draco would tell her to do. What everyone else would tell her to do.

"At least I'll have a piece of happiness tonight," she muttered sadly to herself as she gave up and damned herself to the consequences that would be forthcoming, if she should get caught.

Sighing, she stepped into the floo entrance and said, "Diagon Alley."

Emerging from the public floo point in front of the Leaky Cauldron, she took a glance at her watch. She figured she still had a little time to grab something for the two of them to eat before heading to the shop. Walking into the Leaky Cauldron, she not only heard the room go still, she felt it.

At that very moment, she realized that she had left her hair up clearly revealing her face. A deep blush of shame flooded her face. Making her way to the bar, in the uncomfortable silence, she felt relieved when Hannah came over to her instantly which appeared to signal to all the other patrons to at least talk amongst themselves.

"Hannah, can I get two French dips to go? And some butterbeer." Pansy asked pulling out some money. Hopefully, Ron wouldn't think too much of her bringing food for both of them. Hoping that he would see that she didn't want to be rude, since she had managed to over look lunch and dinner and could quite possibly eat a hippogriff at the moment. All the while, she tried to ignore the whispered conversations that were flying around her.

"Sure thing," Hannah said. "It will just be a minute."

"Thanks. I really appreciate it," Pansy replied still trying to ignore the whispers. She didn't know how Draco did it day after day. This one little slip up was more than a bit hard to bear. Then again, Draco was marvelously arrogant and self-assured. Something she had always admired about him and envied. Everyone in Slytherin had thought this odd when they found out. However, when the war ended and she stopped being the person she had to be, the reason for her admiration of those two qualities in Draco had become painfully obvious to everyone who knew her.

Hannah had her order in no time, which Pansy thanked her for again and slipped her a few more galleons before rushing out from the stares of the crowd and more importantly, before Hannah could refuse the tip. Pansy hadn't realized that she had been holding her breath until the cold December air hit the back of her throat hard as she gasped for a breath. Coughing, she turned and headed to see Weasley, still trying to collect herself but not wanting to linger in front of the pub.

She walked up to the front of the store, just as he was closing the blinds. Waving, she showed him the food she was carrying. He laughed and opened the front door.

"What is that?" he asked as she stepped inside.

"Two French Dips," she told him as she sat the food on the counter before slipping off her cloak and laying it over her bag that she had dropped on the door. "I got so distracted in the lab after you left that I managed to miss lunch and dinner. I figured you probably could use a bit of food too."

"Good call," he said pulling out the food and butterbeer before jumping onto the counter.

She started to thank him again for earlier but he cut her off, "Leave it."

She nodded and climbed up on the counter and was about to dig in to her sandwich when his laugh caught her by surprise. Pansy cocked her head to look at him, puzzled about what exactly was so funny.

"What?"

"Boy, you weren't kidding about being distracted."

"Huh? I think you've lost your mind Weasley."

"You do know scorgify does wonders on cleaning up potions on clothing," he pointed out.

Pansy looked down to realize that in her desire to escape her lab and not think of what she created today, she managed to clean her lab, her face, and her hair but not herself. Her shirt, jeans and boots where covered in a multitude of colors and gods know what else. She half-way hoped that's what people were starring at in the Leaky Cauldron. Grinning, she stuck her tongue out at him and showed him a rude gesture with a two finger salute.

"Some proper young lady you are Parkinson," he grinned.

"Shut up and eat your food," she laughed, throwing the empty bag the food had come in


	5. Chapter 4 Auld Lang Syne

**Disclaimer**: Not the characters. Only the idea.

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Pansy felt two hands reach out, grabbing her by the waist, to steady her as she landed on the grate at the store. She allowed the hands to remain on her waist as she steadied herself though she felt foolish for being so clumsy and ungraceful. Someone would have thought that she had never used the floo network before if they had seen her at that moment.

"Wow Parkinson," Ron said after a long, low whistle. His hands quickly leaving her waist. "You weren't kidding about it being a ball."

"No I wasn't. Full to the brim with strutting peacocks and penguins alike," she replied, stepping out of the fireplace into the store trying hard not to get any soot on her ice blue ball gown. She was in no mood to send it out for cleaning and deal with her mother finding out that she had to have soot removed from it. Pansy knew her mother and quite possibly her father would kill her themselves if they found out that was how she left the bloody New Years Ball with all those muggles there.

"Shut the damn floo already before I get caught. I actually had to make a run for the bloody floo this year, instead of being able to discretely apparate, due to the wankers I call my sisters. Do you have any nasty jokes I can play on them as a form of payback? Or even cruel, I don't care at the moment," she raged struggling with the massive skirts that made up her dress, "Bugger this dress weighs a ton. Remind me to never do a large princess-y dress ever again. No matter what my mother says. Or orders for that matter."

"Yes ma'am!" he snapped to attention with a salute and a large grin on his face. "The bag you sent over earlier is in the storeroom. You can change back there. The door is propped open."

"Thanks," she replied, handing him the two bags she was holding. She stood on her tiptoes, pulling on his arm a bit, so she could place a kiss on his cheek. "I was able to grab two bottles of champagne and some food. I figured you could at least find us a couple of glasses."

"You sure know how to spoil someone," he said returning her affection with a kiss on her forehead.

"Damn," she laughed as she started to walk away from him, "You are easy to please. Draco seems to always set me back more than just a few galleons."

"Says the woman who gives up one of the most expensive fire-whiskey's around to someone she use to despise."

"Are you complaining?"

Pansy expected a retort from him but when she didn't she turned back around to look at him.

"Do you hear bells?" Ron asked with a pensive look across his face.

Feeling a bit like a little girl again, a huge smile spread across her face. Spinning around, the sound of bells overrode the sound of the fabric swishing, "Uh-huh. It's my dress."

"You charmed your dress to do that?"

Shaking her head, "Not at all", bending over to pull up the ice blue over skirt, "Did it the muggle way". Under her over skirt was a layer of petticoat's with little silver bells sewn into it all tied with a fine silver ribbon.

"Why? I thought you didn't like the attention."

"I don't but I actually do this every year. My mum use to do it," she confessed, feeling her cheeks warm. "I guess you could say it's a tradition."

"Who are you and what have you done with the Parkinson I know? The one who could make a dragon tamer blush?"

"What's that suppose to mean?" she exclaimed marching over to him and landing a punch against his arm.

Ron grinned as he playfully rubbed his arm, "Oh there she is. I was thinking you were some polyjuiced impostor for a moment."

"What?" she exclaimed.

His laughter filled the store, as he struggled to spit out, "I thought some girly-girl had taken you over."

"I am not a girly-girl!" She gaped at him, punching him again, "Take it back!"

"Not if it's true Princess in your ballgown and diamonds. Go get changed!" he continued laughed, pushing her back in the direction of the storeroom.

"Not until you take it back," she pouted, crossing her arms across her chest. She started to tap her foot but the movement was causing her bells to tinkle and that only led to Ron laugh at her more.

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Ooohhhhh," she howled. Throwing her hands up in the air, "I surrender." She spun around and marched to the back of the storeroom with Ron's laughter following her. Pansy wouldn't admit it to anyone if they asked later but she knew she had the biggest smile on her face by the time she entered the storeroom.

Stepping into the store room, she saw her bag and her fur lined cloak lying on a work table. She quickly pulled out the pair of jeans, tank, jumper, gloves and boots and quickly changed out of her cumbersome ballgown, leaving her snowflake diamond necklace on. A quick shrinking spell later, not only was she in much more comfortable cloths but the offending ballgown was safely tucked away in her bag.

Leaving her bag there, not wanting to risk anymore teasing over the bells, she went back out to the store with her cloak under her arm and the gloves in her hands but she didn't see Ron. Figuring he would be back any minute, she started to wander the store looking at all the different products. Though she had been in the store several times prior to her now seemingly daily visits, she never really had the time to look. She always just popped in, picked up what she needed for her kid sisters and slipped away.

"I always knew you were the princess type. Even though the big poof-y dress kind of gave it away earlier. By the way, where was your tiara tonight?" Ron's voice came out of nowhere, as she was looking at their Princess line.

"And I always knew you were the arse type," she retorted sticking her tongue out, trying to desperately hide how uncomfortable she was at the moment being called a Princess by him. "I'm still mad at you for teasing me about the bells on my dress."

"No your not," he grinned back at her. Grabbing her arm, he pulled her away from the princess display. "Ready for this great view of fireworks I was telling you about."

"Lead the way," she grinned, taking his hand before following him out the back of the store and climbing the stairs to the roof. She had to laugh when she saw that he had put the food and champagne on a table with two glasses and had pulled up two lounge chairs for them to sit in on either side of the table.

"You went all out with the furniture," she teased, plopping down in the closest one, tossing the cloak and gloves at the end of the lounge. "And the warming charm is quite nice."

"There are times I actually do know what I am doing, in spite of popular opinion."

"Obviously, but your secret is safe with me," she laughed leaning back to look up at the darken sky. It felt good to finally relax after having been on her feet the last three hours, dancing with men who could do nothing more than step on her feet and attempt to take liberties with their hands and mouths. It was so peaceful sitting up on the roof, Pansy knew that she could easily fall asleep after the evening she had had.

"How was the ball?" Ron asked handing her a glass of champagne.

"Tolerable. Salud," she grinned clinking her glass with his.

"Not that many frogs this year?"

"No," she laughed taking a sip, watching him take a seat in the other chair and stretching out. "Still as many frogs but I didn't have to kiss any of them this year."

"So that made your parents ball tolerable?"

"Well that, and my father and I are in the hurtful phase of our most recent argument which means that my mother spent most of her time keeping us at least twenty feet away from each other and that interfered with any matchmaking plans she had for tonight. Oh and having a planned hide-out for my escape helped my mood too."

"What do you mean?" Ron sat up and turned his body to face her.

"I don't understand."

"You said hurtful phase of an argument with your father," he pushed. "Do you two have a pattern to your fights?"

"Uh-huh."

"What's going on now? If you don't mind me asking."

"I don't. It's just that my father and I got into a pretty serious argument about two days before Christmas. We usually just need a few days in our separate corners and it all blows over but with the holidays, we have been forced to be in the same room as each other almost everyday for the past week and the argument progresses. Currently, we are in the phase were we go out of way to try to verbally hurt each other." Pansy explained. It was childish she knew. So did her father but there was so much guilt residing in each that lashing out at the other was the only way they could cope most of the time. "Mother swore that we couldn't say anything worse to the other than the last time we had it out. Unfortunately, we proved her wrong tonight in front of quite a few of the quests and my younger sisters who ran from the room in tears."

"What did you get an argument over?"

Pansy bit her lower lip as thought hard. She wasn't quite ready to admit to him the exact cause of the fight, even if she could tell him the truth about everything. Regardless, she also found herself not wanting to lie to him either.

"It's a bit complicated," she started, "but the important part is my father and I aren't seeing eye to eye on my future or what I should be doing with my life. Pretty typical parent-child argument."

"He doesn't like you working at the ministry?" Ron asked in awe. Leaning back in the chair and quietly adding, "That's all my mother wanted us to do. She's still bugs me and George on occasion and the store is doing well."

"Basically," she nodded not ready to add how much he didn't like her working at the ministry.

"What does he want you to do?"

"I think he'd be happier if I would go to work at the company he works for."

"Wow. What does he do?"

"He's an executive at Pendragon Enterprises," she fudged, she just left out the part where he was CEO.

"Wow."

"What?"

"I just figured it had something to do with you getting married."

"Thankfully no. That's the fights with my mother." she responded quickly. Hoping, he didn't hear anything in her voice that would cause him to press her further about that.

Unfortunately, there appeared to be something on the tip of his tongue, so she stretched the truth quickly, "I hate to admit it but her matchmaking attempts are half-hearted at best, no matter how much I might whine or complain, or color the situation. I know my parents would never force an arrange marriage on me again."

"Again?"

"I was betrothed until the war ended," she shrugged. "It wasn't a love match, as the arrangement had been agreed to when both my intended and I were about 10. Thankfully, all parties allowed me and my intended to put an end to it the whole charade at the end of the war. However, my mother believes it spoiled my attitude on marriage and relationships which she regrets. I think she puts in all the effort for not only appearances to the rest of wizarding society but also as a deep seated hope that I might change my mind about the whole institution."

"And you do your best to circumvent her efforts despite knowing she won't force your hand?"

"Don't you circumvent your mother's?" Pansy whispered quietly because she knew deep down she really didn't want to constantly destroy all her mother's matchmaking attempts. She couldn't afford to be anything but pragmatic when it came to the idea of her entering into a romantic relationship – hope was for fools. And by now, in this life, Pansy was anything but a fool.

They both sat silently as fireworks started going off in the sky in various directions. From time to time, she felt his eyes upon her but when she would turn to look, his head would quickly swivel away. She took those few moments to look at him closer.

He wasn't watching the fireworks. Instead, he seem to be looking out over the London skyline. Whatever he was thinking about troubled him, she could tell every time a firework lit up the sky and the light reflected in his eyes. Pansy felt so bad for him. It wasn't hard to tell even in the few conversations she had had with him in the past few days that marriage was something he wanted. And that he wanted it with Granger but for some reason Granger didn't share his opinion which blew Pansy's mind.

With all the men she had been introduced to in the last four years, she could tell Granger a thing a two about how great a man Ron was and if she didn't shape up, then sooner or later he was going to walk away. Or some female was going to take him away. Someone that would appreciate him.

Pansy could see what Granger obviously couldn't – a good, kind, loyal, caring man who would go to ends of the world for the woman he loved. Pansy hated to kill the silence but there was something in the back of her mind non-stop since last evening when they made plans to hang out at midnight. She still couldn't believe that he wanted to hang out with her on New Years' Eve and not his girlfriend.

"Can I ask?" she gently said still looking over at him, after taking a deep breath. She watched as his face grow darker.

"I would rather you not," he whispered.

"Then I'll change the subject," Pansy promised turning back to face the star lit sky thinking that a different topic that would do the two of them good. "How was business today?"

"Busy. I think we managed to sell all the Whizbangs we had in stock."

"That's great."

"No it's not," he replied with a groan. He appeared to be on his way back to his normal self which Pansy said a quick blessing to the humors for. Unfortunately, she found herself jealous. She was jealous that he could recover so quickly from an unpleasant conversations. The only time she seemed capable of doing the same this quickly was when he was around. Pansy just wish she knew if it was him or this recent development of acquiring a new and evidently healthy friendship. "Means I get to work open to close all this week, while George replaces our current stock."

"At least you'll have help with closing the shop," she teased reaching to dig into the bag of food, trying to find the plate of sandwiches she snitched.

"Is that what you call it?" he laughed back. "I call it a bloody distraction."

"See if I bring you another bottle of fire-whiskey to help you survive your closing duties," she stuck at her tongue as she collapsed back into her chair with a plate of finger sandwiches.

"You know I've been looking forward to this," she confessed out of nowhere, before she could actually stop her mouth.

"Why?"

"Besides obvious reasons?"

"That I'm not a toad," he grinned back, nicking the plate from her.

"Hey! Well that doesn't hurt," she laughed, grabbing two sandwiches back. "I've decided that I kind of like this hanging out with someone without playing games or fighting."

"And here I thought I had a combative personality."

"Don't kid yourself," she teased, "You do you have a combative personality. And given that I am as vindictive as they come according to Draco then by my theory we should do nothing but scream at each other. But we don't. Why do you think that is?"

"Who knows," he replied, refilling their glasses. "No offense though I never would have taken you for a vindictive person."

She laughed and told him, "Then consider yourself warned."

"Will do."

"Oh, and as a warning, I have been known to pick a fight time to time, so be prepared for pissy-Pansy as Goyle calls it."

"You pick fights on purpose?" he turned his head to stare at her.

"Sometimes," she started until his eyes narrowed, finishing her glass. "Okay yes, since I just admitted to it being a bad habit but haven't you ever picked a fight on purpose?"

"Yes but only when I wanted a particular someone's attention," he admitted, "Haven't you learned that arguing really is a turnoff to most people? Granted it took me years to figure that one out."

"Of course," she told him pouring herself another glass. "But I guess I'm just more interested in keeping people away and it is a very effective method when done right."

Pansy didn't know what to expect Ron to say, she just didn't expect him to fall silent. Sitting up, she turned to face him. She watched as he starred at nothing while fireworks exploded over their heads. Pansy let him have his silence but moved to his chair, leaving her glass on the table.

"Why is that," he asked, not looking at her. "Why do you want to keep people away?"

Shrugging her shoulders as she took a seat on the edge of the chair, her body facing him. Looking at him, she quietly said, "I'm afraid of hurting someone who cares about me but for most people it's a good way to make sure that no one can hurt them."

She watched sadly, as his face darkened again. Pansy felt sick to her stomach. She had promised not to bring up Hermione last night and somehow in the most honest confession she had given anyone in the last few years, she had managed to so without ever trying.

"Do you think that's why Hermione's been picking fights every chance she gets these days?" he whispered. Pansy saw a tear escape. It hurt her to see him look so sad.

"I don't know," she whispered grabbing his hand. "Have you asked her?"

"Asked her what?"

"Maybe asked isn't the right word, have you talked to her and told her you feel like she is pushing you away?"

"Yes," he muttered his eyes focused on their hands, their fingers now intertwined. She tried to keep her eyes on him, instead of staring at their hands too and trying to figure out how the hell it had happened. And why it wasn't bothering her in the slightest.

She could hear a bit of anger in the back of his voice when he said, "She swears she isn't and then she starts yelling again. Telling me again and again, that I don't know what she's going through but if I ask her to explain it all to me so I can be there for her, she just shuts down and walks away."

"Ron," she gently asked, rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb, figuring it was now or never to ask the one question, everyone else would ask if they knew just where he was, "I know why I'm here on New Year's Eve. But why are you?"

"Why are you here?" he replied.

"Because I want to be. I want to be somewhere were I can be myself and not get into a screaming match with someone who has a critical opinion about every decision I make and insists that I follow his lead blindly, because evidently he knows better than I do about what to do and how to live in my so-called-existence," she snapped at the end, breathing deeply, only then realizing that some how in a single sentence her emotions managed to swing so greatly. Ron's eyes had widen in surprise. Shaking her head and holding her breath momentarily to catch it, she continued as calmly as she could muster, "Sorry. You do realize that are avoiding my question."

"Because I don't want to be where she is."

"And where is that?" she figured it had to be something important, though in all honesty she was surprised by his answer. In their limited conversations, she had come to the conclusion that he was one of those guys who in a relationship wanted nothing more than to spend time with his other half. Evidently, she had missed something, if he didn't want to be where she was though he consistently complained she was never around.

"Anymore? Anywhere she is," he whispered, removing his hand from Pansy's, hanging his head down like a guilty man burying his face in his hands.

_If I had a heart_, she thought, _it would break at that very moment_.

"Ron," she whispered, pulling his hands away from his face. It took her a moment, but when she finally did, she quickly grabbed his face and held it so he had to look at her. And hopefully hear her, if not see what she was trying to tell him. "Ron, stop beating yourself up. You aren't a bad person."

"Then why do I feel that way? I mean I'm here on New Year's with a woman who's not my girlfriend of three years. And I don't bloody care what my girlfriend thinks. Or where she even is because I really don't believe that she is at her parents' on New Year's Eve."

"I don't think you are a bad person. I doubt anyone else would think that too, if they for one minute took the time to see what you are going through with Granger. What she is putting you through. I know you have a heart of gold. That you are genuine in you actions, thoughts, and motivations," she told him, unconsciously pushing away his hair and running her fingers along his jaw. "If I didn't need a hideout tonight, would you be here hiding out from her?"

"Yes," he whispered.

"See, heart of gold," she whispered back, removing her hand from his face. "No need to feel guilty."

"Friends?" he asked taking her hand in his hand again, a soft smile came with the question that Pansy didn't think he needed to ask to begin with.

Pansy offered him a small soft smile and nodded. She went to stand, but Ron gave the hand a small tug, causing her to fall into his lap. Pansy thought about running her mouth but decided better of it when she realized that they both needed this immediate affection. Settling into his lap, she laid back against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. She didn't want to admit it but it felt good to be held; even if it for his benefit.

"You know you could've just asked?" she softly teased, closing her eyes and relaxing.

"Didn't feel like pressing my luck," he whispered, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

"Kettle meet cauldron," she confessed. It didn't take long before she found herself matching his rhythmic breathing before slipping off to sleep to the natural lullaby.


	6. Chapter 5 Safe Haven

**Disclaimer**: The characters aren't mine. The universe isn't mine. Only the idea.

* * *

"Where is that bloody book?" Pansy exclaimed to her empty bedroom as she climbed over the piles she had surrounded herself in on her hands and knees. She knew her bedroom was large but how could she misplace a book that she just had her hands on. "I just had the little bugger!... Merlin!.. Circe!.. Where the fuck is that bloody book!"

"You know," a cool voice drawled from behind her. "Most people choose to go out on a Saturday night, not stay in to do...to do..what ARE you doing Princess?"

"When have I ever been considered most people, Draco?" she responded, avoiding his question, while still digging for the book by throwing the books she did come across behind her in frustration, not bothering to look at him. Though it was tempting to launch a book in his direction, she tried to refrain herself from doing so. Her frustration at not being able to find the book finally over took her common sense and she gave into her baser instinct of launching discarded books in his direction.

Draco sighing though stopped her in her tracks, mid-throw, causing her to drop the book on her head with an 'Ow!'

Whipping her head around, she narrowed her eyes and glared, "What?"

"For once, why don't you be normal instead of just complaining that you wish you were. It is Saturday night," he asked leaning up against the door, in his standard attire of black, on black, on black. She watched him run his fingers through his short blonde hair before continuing, "Just come out with us. Goyle, Zambini, Nott and I were planning on going to this muggle cigar bar in Chelsea."

"Go be a guy," she said waving him off, turning her attention back to the piles of books and parchments on her floor still trying to find the particular book she needed, "Anyway I'm so thoroughly distracted with what I'm working on this moment that I won't be much fun or company."

"Even if we let you get Zambini drunk?"

"Like you even would after the last time. Even so, I still won't be much company."

"I thought you said that the whole point of you not taking that position with the Harpies was to spend more time learning YOUR business, not to spend more time at the Ministry. Or is this you just being passive-aggressive towards your father because even he wants to see do more with your life than live in your lab?"

Pansy was more than slightly aggravated with that low-blow from Draco. They both knew damn well she couldn't in a million take that position with the Harpies even if she wanted too. Snapping back at him, "No. I HAD planned on spending time learning more of the business. Just so I wouldn't have to see YOUR face everyday."

Collecting herself, she sighed knowing that she wasn't being entirely forthright with Draco or even fair. It did make her feel a bit guilty too even though she knew damn well that he knew she was skirting the truth. Both of them knew that as long as she could stay at the ministry, she wasn't interested in stepping a foot through the doors of Pendragon Enterprises in any other capacity than as the boss' daughter.

"My workload at the ministry has increased substantially since Boxing Day due to the increased number of raids. I'm having to juggle my own work-load and special assignments. Evidently, being good at your job has it's consequences I'm finding out," she added, trying to not to think about all the hours she was spending on Potter's pet project on top of the obscene amount of work that her boss had started sending her way in the past few weeks while still expecting her to continue her research.

"So your work at the Ministry is the only reason you are avoiding your father?"

"I'm not avoiding him. No matter what he might tell you."

"Then what do you call it? You are basically refusing to see your father at the moment."

"A timeout."

"Interesting," Draco drawled. "Just so we are on the same page with what else is going on in your life, what are you calling your daily visits to Diagon Alley?"

"Stress relief," she retorted without missing a beat. If there was one thing she knew about Draco when he started questioning your motivations or actions, it was best to keep to short answers and respond quickly, with confidence and no hesitation.

"So should I ask why you are classifying your daily visits to Diagon Alley as stress relief? I never see you with shopping bags like most women."

"Nope. Do you mind making yourself useful during this rather irritating interrogation and help me find a tan leather bound book with red Gothic lettering? It's about this this thick and about this size," she added gesturing with her dimensions with her hands.

"Fine," Draco replied, joining her on the floor to sift through her piles. "Can I at least know who you are visiting then?"

"No, it's none of your business," she quickly replied as she pulled out books that somehow had gotten shoved under her bed.

Draco let out a low whistle before responding, "Wasn't expecting that."

"Wasn't expecting what?" her voice muffled from under her bed.

"I had anticipated you outright lying to me."

"Draco, what are you going on about?"

"A weasel."

Pansy jumped at his comment and hit her head on the underside of her bed. Silently, she cursed herself for giving Draco the upper hand. He was relentlessness when that happened as she very seldom gave him much ground anymore. Defeated, she pulled herself from underneath her bed. Sitting back, she turned to face him. She could see that he had the book she wanted in his hands and he was casually thumping the book against his right hand, in front of the sitting area of her room.

"What is this going to cost me?" she whispered

She waited, biting her lip nervously, while Draco looked her over. She felt like an animal in a cage at that moment. She was expecting the worst in his demands for his silence. Probably cost her at least new racing broom and a case of fire-whiskey, probably Sheridan's finest. As well as a piece of her dignity more than likely.

"Nothing," he said, tossing her the book she had been looking for. "I already knew. Just wanted to hear the truth from you."

She took the book from him and whispered, "Why?"

"Chalk it up to I owe you one."

"Can I get that in writing?" she forced herself to tease him.

"I can't believe you even thought to ask that when you know the answer," he said standing up. "You know you do need to remember for this to work, you need to trust me with everything. Which I might add, is something you've been struggling with lately. Oh, since Christmas day."

Pansy wasn't sure what she should say and sat there silently before he added, "I'm not use to you keeping secrets from me. At least not anymore."

Pansy knew he was right. She had been keeping something from him. Something anyone else who knew would consider major – she had become friends with someone who was forbidden to her. Taking a deep breath, "It's not that I don't trust you Draco."

Draco sighed, "I know, it's just sometimes I wonder who really got the short-end of the straw when it came to our fathers."

"So can this stay between us? Please?" Pansy whispered feeling as much like a little girl as she sounded at the moment.

"You do realize that you won't be the only one your father kills if he finds out."

Pansy nodded, still silently pleading with Draco.

"You can't be anymore than friends you know that?"

"How could I forget?" she retorted rolling her eyes. One of these days, someone was going to have to explain to her just why everyone insisted on reminding her of what she was incapable of feeling.

"Promise me you will at least get out before you hurt him? I mean it. You hurt him, I will kill you myself before your father or Potter can even lay a hand on you."

"I promise."

"Cannot believe I'm trying to protect the weasel," he muttered.

Finally breaking the silence that had fallen on the room, "Want me to stay at Zambini's tonight?"

"Why?" she asked, puzzled. Attempting to tread lightly, she teased, "You hate staying at his place. Something about him talking in his sleep?"

"I do, but he has space unlike Nott and Goyle." A snarky smile started to stretch across his face as he continued, "I figured you are expecting someone and would like a bit of privacy. I mean, isn't that why you are really staying in on a Saturday when you could have plans with four very good looking and wealthy Slytherins?"

"No," she laughed out loud, throwing her head back, a large smile forming across her face. She figured she would be nice and at least throw him a partial bone, hoping it would get him out of her hair faster, "I really have work. Anyway he has plans tonight that don't include me."

Her laughter quickly iced when she saw on Draco's face. His jaw had dropped, his cool grey eyes widen in shock. Any ounce of colour from his normally pale face had completely disappeared. She searched his face for some clue as to why he was looking at her in such disbelief. In such amazement. In such wonderment.

"Draco?" she asked tentatively, after a few minutes of waiting for Draco to collect himself. "Draco, what's the matter? I haven't seen you like this since...

"Nothing," he replied cutting her off as he shook his head. Almost like shaking his head would remove what ever image was going through his mind. Standing up he kissed her forehead, "I'm going to stay at Zambini's tonight."

"I don't want to hear about it tomorrow," she called out after him, before stretching out on the floor to read the book Draco found for her.

Unfortunately, her distraction kept her from reading a single word. She kept picturing Draco's face in her mind from moments before. She could count the number of times on one hand that she had seen him unable to control what he was thinking, especially when he was surprised. And it had been a few years since the last time.

In fact, she knew the last time was during their 6th year with that quite unforgettable incident. The whole thing had shoved the cold harsh reality of their situation in their faces, affecting their relationship so much that neither one thought that they, as a unit, would survive. But what they did have had miraculously survived abet in torn pieces. Evolving, slowly and painfully, into what they had now.

So focused on the misery that came forth every time she thought about that incident. The look in Draco's eyes – fear and horror. How he avoided her for days and refused to even look at her for weeks. And then there were all the tears that she had cried when she realized that though he had always known the truth – he had just never believed it until that point. His innocence firmly gone by her own hand.

Pansy never noticed the fire in her fireplace turn green to tell her someone was on their way. Ron's voice finally tore her water-filled eyes away from the page that she had been starring at and away from unpleasant thoughts about her existence, "Do you need to get some work done?"

She found herself starring at him as he stood near the fireplace; the light of the fire causing his long hair to glow while making him seem taller and even more impressive physically. She could have sworn she had never seen a more impressive figure in her life. He looked like a god to her; a warrior god to be exact. It unnerved her though that he appeared so uncomfortable with being there, that she half expected him to jump back in the fireplace, he was so close.

"No," she said closing the book and setting it on her bed, hoping that would prevent her from misplacing it again. "I could use a break anyway."

"Are you sure?"

Feeling slightly irritated at that moment, "Yes," she snapped with a smile on her face.

"Oh. Okay." She watched him take a seat on the brown leather sofa that formed part of the sitting area of her bedroom. The dejected and defeated look on his face told him that the evening hadn't gone well as he starred at the muggle chess board she had set up on the coffee table.

Granger had owled him the other day asking to get together this evening to discuss something. Pansy knew that Ron had been dreading it badly, so she told him her floo address if he needed to talk afterwards. Or at least wanted some peace and quiet from the fall out. She half-way hoped that either they both or at least one of them had ended the relationship, because it was hard for Pansy to see him so miserable and unhappy. And if anyone deserved a bit a happiness, Pansy thought it was him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to snap. Would you like something to drink?" she asked not moving from her seat on the floor surrounded by books, papers, and Merlin knows what else. Pansy wanted to make sure that he had all the physical space he needed after having a bad evening. She watched him move the bishop closest to him, trying to suppress the smile that she wanted to let stretch across her face, thinking that she might actually have some competition finally since Draco's chess playing skills were atrocious at best.

"Don't worry about it," he said with a sigh, kicking off his boots and stretching across the couch. He now had a easy view of her from the couch. "Thanks for letting me hide out here."

"No problem. People feeling talkative tonight?" Pansy replied, feeling the hairs on her arms go up when she admitted to herself that he looked like he belonged there and that she actually liked such a domestic scene.

"I have no idea. I didn't feel like going anywhere else but here. Hermione and I just spent the last hour having a fairly public fight at the Leaky Cauldron. We evidently put on quite the show because someone actually had the audacity to tell us it reminded them of being back at Hogwarts," Ron huffed and fell silent.

"Are you sure you don't want a drink?" she asked with a soft smile on her face. "The cabinet underneath the window is fully stock.

"I'm sure." After a few moments, he continued, "I know you are going to ask. But I don't want to talk about it. At least not now. I just don't feel like rehashing the hour I just wasted. "

"That bad?"

"It's only that bad because Merlin knows I've only had the same argument with her a couple dozen times in the last year."

"Understand. It gets old doesn't it?"

"What gets old?"

"Rehashing arguments."

"Not so much old as feels like a bloody bad dream that you can't wake up from."

"I'm sorry."

Pansy watched as a pensive look came over him as he looked around her bedroom. She had a good idea of what he was going to say but she figured she wait for him

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," she replied.

"How come the floo network connects to your bedroom?"

Pansy bit her lip and blurted out a half-truth, in a teasing manner hoping to misdirect Ron without actually lying to him, "Draco and I need to avoid each other a significant amount of the time to prevent unnecessary blood shed."

"Doesn't he need the network too?"

"Surprisingly, no. He hates to floo. Thinks it's beneath him somehow," she said standing up, avoiding the part where it was for her protection and if Draco or her father found out she revealed her floo address to anyone, her blood would be split without a second thought. "Anyway, he moved in after the network was set up and I've never gotten around to moving it."

Tired of being so far from him, she took a chance and stood up, moving to join him on the couch. She wasn't use to much space between them and even the few feet in her bedroom had finally proved to much. Before she sat down, she countered his move on the chess board, earning a smile from him. Pansy pulled his outstretched legs up and crawled onto the couch with her legs under her and his resting on hers.

"What's it like living with the Ferret?"

"I could ask you the same about Potter."

"But I never dated Harry."

"I don't understand," she replied looking at him puzzled.

"It doesn't bother you to be living with someone you use to date?"

Shaking her head, "No. I think the girl Draco's been seeing minded it at first but it doesn't seem to bother her anymore."

"You know there is a lot less Slytherin green in this room then I thought there would be."

"Have I mentioned I absolutely hate the colour of Slytherin green?" Pansy chuckled, running her hand absentmindedly up and down Ron's legs.

His loud, laugh filled the room, before he choked up, "You are kidding me!"

"Cross my heart," she giggled. "The only place you will find that colour in this flat is in Draco's room. Most of the house is like this room, lots of soft blues, greens, purples, browns and whites."

"No silver?"

"Again, only in Draco's room."

"Wow."

"So you are telling me your room is nothing but red and gold?"

"Yep, and with lots of Chudley Canon orange."

Pansy shivered thinking of all those colours, "Oh gods, remind me never to get decorating advice from you."

"Why would you even think that?" he teased. "I am a guy."

"Good point. Chalk it up to me loosing my mind."

"You mean you had one to begin with?"

Pansy slapped his legs hard, "Don't be an arse! Or I won't hide you in the future."

She watched as Ron's face grow dark as he looked away from her, quickly she apologized, "I'm sorry..."

"Leave it," he quickly interrupted.

Pansy nodded her head and let him have his silence. Leaning her head against the couch, she sat and waited. Her eyes following every track that her hands made running up and down his legs; her mind racing with all the possibilities of what he and Hermione fought about this evening. It didn't even begin to fill the space that seem to envelope the room, but at least it filled her mind adequately enough to help her remain silent for him.

"How do you do that?" he suddenly said, his blues eyes now focused on her.

Without moving, she turned her eyes and felt herself get swallowed in his gaze, "Do what?"

"If I ask you to leave the topic alone or drop it you do. How do you do that?"

"Well, I try to respect you and only talk about things if and when you want to."

"Why? How come you are being a better mate to me than my best mate of 10 years?"

"You've just learned the best part about having a mate in Slytherin," she replied, her voice soft and distant, "Remember us, Slytherins believe in protecting ourselves above everyone and anything else. It makes it quite easy to let people stew in their own problems until they want a friend to listen to them."

"You are full of surprises, you know that. It's sometimes like you are a totally different person than the Parkinson I went to school with. Back then you seemed like such a busy-body."

"In many ways I am a different person than what you remembered from school," she admitted, turning her face away from his, starring at the open doorway. "The war changed a lot of things for people on both sides."

"What changed for you?"

"Certain expectations where gone," she admitted. "Granted they were replaced by other expectations but at least now I can be the person I am instead of the person everyone wanted me to be. Anything change for you?"

"My family," Ron voice broke, "It's been four years and I still expect Fred to walk through the door with George every time I see him. But he never does. There is always something missing from every holiday and meal at the Burrow. We all try to fill that space but it never seems to work."

Her own mind began to wandering to the source of many of her own tears and pain. Her eyes starting to burn again as she whispered, "The worse part about losing someone you love like that is that it will never seem to get any better. No matter what anyone will tell you. The holidays come and go. The years pass. And your memories start to fade. Making the whole situation worse rather than better because you find yourself dealing with guilt as well as pain. Time doesn't heal the pain, it just dulls it to something you can live with."

"Pansy..." he asked, his own pain evident in his voice as it trailed off. She watched his hand grab hers holding it still.

"This isn't public information so I would appreciate it if you didn't mention it to anyone." Looking at their hands, she sighed taking a deep breath. Pansy knew that in moments tears were going to fall and she wasn't sure that she could control them this time. "My mum. She was murdered. I saw the whole thing."

"Did they catch the person who did that?"

A tear slid down her face as she realized that this was the first time, someone had genuinely offered her comfort like this. Everyone had pushed her away when it first happened and by the time, they realized that she was still there, she just pushed them back until they stopped trying to offer false words of comfort. They instead decided to compensate by attempting to control her life, to make her into her mum.

"It wasn't a priority..." she was unable to get out anything else, as her sobs started to rack her own body. Pansy felt Ron pull her down to lay beside him. She buried her face into this body and continued to cry as his hands rubbed her back.

"Maybe your right," she tried to joke when her tears finally slowed. Wiping at her face with the back of hand, "Maybe I am a sentimental girl after all."

"It's nice to know the Slytherin ice princess is human like the rest of us," Ron whispered, reaching a hand out to wipe away a late tear that escaped, before he tucked her hair behind her ear.

"So your a sentimental girl too?" she asked trying to lighten the mood.

"Doubt it. Hermione has told me on more that one occasion that I have the emotional range of a teaspoon. And somehow I think you need a little more than that to be classified as a sentimental girl," he replied with a forced laugh.

"That's awful," Pansy told him, her hand began draw idle patterns as she fought back an unexpected yawn from her emotional outburst. "If anyone has that. It's me. I basically do vindictive and mean. And that's about it"

"Liar," he laughed, pulling her tighter into him. "I've seen you cry, laugh, and go positively mental on top of being vindictive and mean. So I'm thinking maybe a tablespoon."

"Damn, my reputation is slipping," she grinned fighting back another yawn. "I need to make a note to return to my old self on Monday."

"I'll consider myself warned."

"Good, now I won't have to apologize for any outrageous behavior on my part."

She felt Ron's laugh rumbled through his chest, "Wasn't really expecting you too, Parkinson? Isn't it beneath you to apologize to a blood-traitor anyway?"

Pansy sat up abruptly and thumped his chest with her hand, "Don't you dare call yourself that. You are not a blood-traitor. Just because the Mal--"

"Okay. Okay." Ron replied, cutting her off, his eyes wide.

"I hate the word," Pansy replied softly. She resisted his attempts to pull her back in his embrace. "Please don't."

"Pansy," Ron softly said, sitting up. "I meant it as joke. Much like I teased you about not having a house-elf. I won't do it again if it bothers you so much."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Pansy let Ron pull her back down on the couch this time. She snuggled back into his side but didn't say anything. Neither did he. They both laid there in the comfortable silence until sleep overcame them both.

The sun streaming through the windows woke Pansy. She was so warm and comfortable where she laid that she had no desire to actually move. Gradually, she opened her eyes.

The first thing she saw was her hand enveloped in a much larger hand laying the chest she was snuggled up against. By the amount of freckles she could see in her groggy state, she knew it was Ron. She smiled at the thought that he had decided to stay after she feel asleep. Pansy knew she should have minded that he stayed but she didn't. It was nice to wake up to someone again. Even if it was only a friend.

A stack of books lying on the coffee table that hadn't been there last night caught her attention and jolted her completely awake. It never crossed her mind to seal her room last night after Ron arrived since Draco said he was staying with Zambini.

Her curiosity about the books soon overtook any other thought she had in her mind. Though her desire was to stay curled up on the couch and go back to sleep, she carefully untangled herself from Ron trying not to wake him up and climbed over him to sit on the floor. She grabbed the envelope that was on top.

Opening it up, she saw Draco's eloquent script. _Princess – I thought these might help with whatever you are working on. Remember your promise above all else. Ferret_.

She let out a small huff. With a snap of her wrist the note incinerated in her hand.

Pansy didn't get much time to think, before she heard Ron mutter, "Woman, some of us like to sleep in the morning and not wake up to the smell of fire."

"I'm surprised to hear that from the person who is in business with George Weasley," she whispered before placing a kiss on his forehead as she stood up.

"Just come back to bed."

"I would," she whispered, "but you are on the couch."

"Details woman. Details," he told her grabbing her arm and pulling her down towards him.

With a smile on her lips she crawled back down with him on the couch. Well, more so on him. Her leg stretched across him, her head on his chest, while he wrapped his one arm around her to hold her in place and grabbed her hand with the other. It didn't take long before sleep over took her again. Pansy regretfully acknowledged she could get use to this very quickly.

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_A/N : Thanks to all of you who have left reviews. I do appreciate your comments and encouragement._


	7. Chapter 6 Someone Found Out

**Disclaimer: Not the characters. Not the universe. Only the idea.**

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Her day had gone poorly between her boss be unreasonable in his deadlines and her mother deciding that a Valentine's party would be a good idea but now in the confines of the shop, her day could only get better. With a smile on her face, Pansy bounded into Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes at eight on the dot. Shaking off the snowflakes that had landed on her from the mad dash from the Leaky Cauldron to here, she called out to Ron, "It's just me. Want me to lock up?"

"Yep. Thanks," he yelled from the back. "I'll be out in a second."

"Great," Pansy said to the empty store, putting a new bottle of fire-whiskey on the counter with the food she brought from the Leaky Cauldron. Locking the door and pulling the blinds down, she called back out, "I pilfered a different bottle from my father's liquor cabinet this time. I would really appreciate it if I didn't hear any comments from the peanut gallery regarding this bottle. Oh and Hannah is experimenting with desserts. She put two pieces of her new pumpkin cake in with the sandwiches tonight. No charge but she wants to know what we think of them...Can you grab the ledger while you are back there?"

"Got it. Anything else madame?," she heard him, as she cleared the receipts and cash from the register.

Pansy giggled at the sound of his sarcasm, "No just get your arse out here, I'm hungry."

"Patience woman. Last time I checked it was a virtue. So what did you steal this time?" She turned to see Ron emerge from the back with his hands full with merchandise, the ledger and two glasses. Smiling back at him with an oh-so-innocent look, "Just another bottle of fire-whiskey."

"It's never just a bottle with you," he teased, letting her take the ledger and glasses. "One of these days I'm expecting a bottle of vintage Wilkinson's Special Reserve to show up."

"Dammit," she exclaimed, snapping her fingers, "There goes your birthday surprise. Nah, it's just..."

But he cut her off as he starred at the label, "It's just nothing. Don't you thing your father would miss this?"

"Not at all," taking the bottle back from him and opening it up. "He was shit-faced the other evening with some investors when I snuck into the house. I promise you that he will just think he finished it with them when he goes to look for it."

"If you say so," Ron said, watching her pour the drinks.

"Have a little faith, Ron. I've been pilfering bottles from him since I was 13. How else do you think I bribed Draco when we were in school?" she grinned, handing him his glass. "So what do we toast to tonight? The investors?"

"To the investors." Clinking their glasses.

Pansy watched him take a drink, and had to giggle as he ogled the glass, teasing, "It's only a glass of fire-whiskey Ron."

"But it's so fucking good," Ron moaned.

"It's whiskey Ron," she giggled again before climbing up onto the counter to start working on the books. "Not your bit of arse."

Her hand flew over her mouth.

She knew she shouldn't have said that last part the instant it came out of her mouth. She carefully looked at him and watched his entire demeanor grow dark. She watched him set the glass down and exit the floor without a word.

It hadn't taken her long to figure out what would set him off. Granted it wasn't hard to set him off anymore. Any reference to Granger, no matter how vague or unintentional, these days set him off faster than a Whizbang. At first, she tried apologizing but soon figured it out it wasn't worth it. Apologizing just seemed to increased his frustration as he always cut her off the minute she started.

Not that long ago, Pansy had made some vague comment about her and he had stalked off into the storeroom to calm down. Finding herself bored when he still hadn't returned after 10 minutes, she started working on the books for him in attempt to be helpful. It didn't take long for them to realize that it worked well for them. He got the closing part of the store done faster and she had something to do. And frankly, she was better at it then either George or Ron.

Sighing, she settled into to working on the books. She was almost half-way through reconciling todays receipts when a booming voice startled her.

"What are you doing here? Where's Ron?"

She jumped off the counter and spun to find herself face to face with a red-faced and very angry looking George Weasley. The amount of steam that seemed to be coming out of his ears was more than than slightly unnerving. At the moment, Pansy knew there was a reason she never could have been a Griffyndor, no matter what the sorting hat kept trying to tell her.

"In the storeroom," Pansy said as calmly as possible, trying to hide her thumping heart while being unnerved by the narrowing of George's eyes as he looked her up and down. She tried to banish the thought of Lucius doing the same thing to her when she was ten like she was some animal he wanted to purchase.

"And what are you doing here?" his voice growled.

"Helping Ron with the books," she said, stepping towards the front of the store and out of the way so George could see what she had been working on.

Suddenly, she saw a light bulb go off in his head as his face turn violently from red to green to pale, his voice cracked as he said, "You've been here every evening he's closed since Boxing Day."

Carefully, she replied, "Yes."

It was close enough. Still not entirely sure where this was going or how he knew she been here every night he closed. She wished Ron would just get himself together and get his arse out to the front of the store to save her from George. Some knight in shining armor he was. She wondered if she could strip him of his heraldry even if he wasn't the oldest son.

"And not Hermione."

Now the light bulb went off for her, "Right," grabbing her drink, "Would you like a drink?"

"Don't mind if I do," George took the glass, drinking it's entire contents in one take. "Hey, that's good stuff."

"Would you like another glass?" Pansy sassed, feeling some of her confidence return abet a little late in her opinion, "So you can actually taste what a 300 galleon bottle of fire-whiskey taste like?"

"What?" George whispered, dropping the glass he had in his hands, starring at her and not the broken glass at his feet.

Pulling her wand from her jeans, Pansy sighed, "Are all you Weasleys' the same when it comes to expensive liquor?" Flicking her wand, the glass repaired itself and flew into her hand. She grabbed the bottle and poured another glass as she muttered, "To think what I could've bribed you all with while at Hogwarts."

"Would you like to taste it this time?" Pansy asked at a still befuddled George extending the drink to him. With no response from George, she took a drink herself because ,Merlin knows she needed it at that moment. "Fine then. More for me." Slamming the entire contents of the glass back. She knew she just chided George for doing the same thing but it wasn't like she hadn't had this fire-whiskey before and there wasn't a bottle of it in her own bar at home.

Pansy stood there and waited for George to say something to her. When he didn't, she pour herself another glass and reclaimed her seat on the counter and started back to work.

"What about Hermione?" George finally spoke.

"What about Granger?" she asked not looking up from the books.

"You know he has a girlfriend."

"I know," she sighed thinking that the girlfriend title was a bit of a stretch and that it was a bit sad that Ron's family had really stopped paying attention to what was going on in his life. She had thought from time to time, that Ron was exaggerating about his family's blindness regarding the state of his relationship with Granger but if the one person he saw more than anyone didn't see it, then who in his family would.

"And I have a question for you, George. Have you talked to him about her lately? I mean really talked and not teased him about when he's going to marry her."

"What else is there to talk about when it comes to those two? They've basically been together since they were kids," he demanded, pouring himself a glass of fire-whiskey "Though knowing now that you've been the one hanging around in the evenings makes me want to throttle him."

"And why is that?"

"If Hermione knew, she would blow a gasket and walk away from him for good for spending time with you instead of her, his GIRL-FRIEND. Whether he realizes it or not, he would come to regret it. She's good for him."

"I think you need to talk to him and listen to what he is actually saying about his relationship with Granger – instead of wasting your time and breath, impugning my character," Pansy firmly said. "Oh and if you aren't wanting, willing or able to do that, then please pull your head out of your arse and figure out when was the last time you actually saw them together."

Surprise that he didn't have a comeback, she watched him mentally process what she had just said. Pansy poured herself another glass as she waited for him to put two and two together.

Sighing when she finally saw the light bulb go off again, Pansy turned her face back to the books, before informing George, "Ron has seen her ONCE since Christmas. And all they did was fight at the Leaky Cauldron over something they keep fighting about. Outside of that, you need to ask him what's going on. I won't be your _Daily Prophet_."

"So what are you two?" George asked looking her up and down.

"Friends."

"Bull."

"Well it's the truth."

"I don't believe you."

"I don't care what you believe," she replied truthfully, unable to look at him as she spoke.

"Well you should."

"Why? Your opinion doesn't matter to me," she responded with a hollow laugh and a silent wish that whatever she was about to say wouldn't get back to her father in some shape or form. "Your brother has been nothing but nice to me when I hadn't done anything in the past to deserve it from him at a time in my life when I needed a true friend. As a result, I would do anything for him."

"Excuse me?" George sounded a bit incredulous.

"What?" Pansy sighed, more than just a little bit annoyed with this conversation and George at the moment.

"Does Ron know this?"

"Do I know what?" Ron asked wandering back into the store front. Pansy noticed that his temper was starting to seethe. The tips of his ears turning red, his eyes narrowing as he focused on George.

_Fuck,_ Pansy muttered to herself, jumping down from the counter and positioning herself between the two brothers abet on the side of them, she wasn't stupid..

Thinking quick after noticing George was a bit dumbfounded, "Did you know that you all doubled your sales in your adult line already this week and it's still several days before Valentine's day?"

"Nice try but don't change the subject, Pansy," Ron growled, his attention still focused on George. "What do I know? Or don't know"

Well if she was going to be sent down the river by George, she may as well jump in it before he pushed. Sighing, Pansy replied, "George, here is suspicious about me hanging around here without a chaperon given that you have a girlfriend. Evidently you hadn't told him that I've been helping you close and do the books for the past few weeks."

She really expected Ron to yell. She expected him to cuss. She expected him to turn around and go back to the store room to calm down. Who was she kidding? She was hoping and wanting that that. Figuring she could handle and get rid of George before attempting to calm down a 6'7" Ron when she was maybe 5'`9" in heels.

However, it felt like everything turned into slow motion, as she watched Ron's fist connect with George's face hard, causing George to stumble backwards and fall down against a display of fake wands sending them in a half-dozen directions.

"Ron!" she yelled putting herself squarely between the two brothers, facing Ron. She grabbed both of his arms before he could hit his brother again. Pansy struggled to dig her feet into the wooden floor of the shop to stop him from advancing on George any further but it was like fighting a raging bull. "Stop!... Ron! Stop!... Please stop it!... He has every right to be suspicious of me."

Ron abruptly stopped in his tracks to stare at her, "What did you say?"

"He has every right to be suspicious of me. He's your brother. He's only looking out for you. It's not like I did a lot to be proud of when we were in school together. And that's who he remembers," she pleaded. "That's who he knows."

Ron's eyes narrowed as he looked her over, she quickly continued, "You were suspicious of me at first, remember? Give him the same courtesy, to have the same doubts."

"And why should I do that?"

She had absolutely no fucking idea.

Struggling to figure out what her own point was, George's voice interrupted both her thoughts and Ron's stare, though she didn't dare remove her tight grip on Ron's arms or relax her body for a second, forcing George to talk to Ron over her shoulder, "Look I came down tonight to talk to Hermione. I wasn't expecting the Feathering ice princess her."

"And?" Ron growled at his brother, his eyes never leaving Pansy's face who was silently pleading with him, mouthing 'Listen to him please.'

"I need to apologize."

"What?" Ron's eyes jerked towards the direction of his brother, Pansy tightened the grip on his arms and prepared herself mentally in case she needed to prevent Ron from advancing on George again.

"About Hermione," George replied. "I'm sorry I hadn't noticed. Or listened to what you were saying."

Hearing defeated sighs from both brothers, Pansy loosed her grip on Ron's arms figuring that the threat risk of him hitting his brother again was low, she still stayed between the two – just in case.

"Ron, why didn't you say something?" George asked.

"You all have been so focused on taking the piss out of me, that I gave up trying to say anything," Ron mumbled looking down at his feet. Pansy finally let go of his arms and rested a hand on his chest. "It's not like you were listening anyway."

"It's going to be okay," she whispered hoping it would bring him some comfort before stepping from between Ron and his brother. "I promise."

"Would you like to talk about it now?" George asked. Thinking that this was a good thing, Pansy grabbed the two glasses and poured each a drink and handed one to each brother.

"I'm going to go ahead and head home. I'll try to swing by a little early tomorrow and finish the books so don't worry about it," she said quickly grabbing her cloak and bag before Ron could say anything that would change her mind. She knew that he needed to talk to his brother about everything more than he probably realized.

When she turned back around to say good bye, the words froze on her lips as soon as she met Ron's eyes. There was something in the way that he was looking at her; begging her not to leave. She didn't want to leave but she knew that Ron had had enough drama for the evening, and frankly, so had Pansy.

"You don't have to go," he said quietly, his hand having reached out to her arm.

"I know," she said with a gentle smile as she placed a quick, chaste kiss on his cheek. "Tell me when you're ready to talk to me. I'll see you later. Bye George."

By the time she arrived to her front door, she was mentally and physically drained. She knew she could have used the floo at the store or even the one at the Leaky Cauldron, but once she had stepped outside of the store, the cool late winter wind felt good against her heated face. After her interesting evening, she figured a long walk home would do her good, in order for her to collect her thoughts about what had happened this evening. Especially with the way, George was starring at her and Ron as she told him good bye. She wasn't sure if incredulous was the right adjective the look on his face as she had watched him look from one of them to the other.

She dragged her body through her front door. Opening up the coat closet she was relieved to not see Draco's cloak there. Hopefully this meant that his date with Astoria was going well tonight. Leaving her to the peace and quiet she desperately needed after the day she had had.

After putting away her cloak and her bag, she conceded that there was no way she was actually going to do anything more tonight than make a cup of coco and drag her tired arse up three flights of stairs to collapse on her California-king with her new red 1000 count Egyptian cotton sheets she had bought the previous weekend on a whim.

While she was stirring the coco, she started the track up to her bedroom. The sound of foot steps on her staircase made her jump and she dropped her mug, sending ceramic and coco over her teak floors. Grabbing her wand from the pocket in her jeans, she willed herself to stay calm and backed herself against the wall in a darken corner ready to defend or to attack.

"Ron!" she yelled in surprise, coming out of the shadows, finding herself on the end of his wand. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"You left the shop over an hour ago, where have you been?" The panic in his eyes was more obvious then the panic in his voice as he grabbed her and pulled her into his body, wrapping his arms around her.

Pushing herself back from him, Pansy replied, "I walked home. How long have you been here?"

"Doesn't matter. I've already checked the Leaky Cauldron and the Ministry. I was about ready to see if I could find you on foot."

"What? What about closing the store?" Pansy really wasn't sure why he was looking for her.

"Why what? Why was I looking for you?" Ron's voice took on an aggravated tone that made Pansy take a step back. She wasn't used to Ron's anger being directed at her. At the very moment, she found herself impressed with Granger's fortitude, knowing that she faced his temper on a daily basis when he was growing up.

"Yes," she replied as if he was the crazy one, "I told you I was heading home."

"Why didn't you apparate or use the floo?"

"I typically don't do either. The house is in Muggle London, so I usually just enter Muggle London from the Leaky Cauldron, walk a couple of blocks and catch a cab. But it felt so good walking tonight, that I just walked the entire way to gather my thoughts and unwind from today."

Pansy searched his face for some response, but he had fallen silent as he starred at her. After what seemed like hours but was probably nothing more then a few minutes, if that, he took a seat on the stairs and started to study his hands as he fiddled the two of them together.

"Ron," she whispered taking a seat next to him, resting her head on his shoulder, "I'm sorry that I worried you. I'm not used to having someone in my life day in and day out who would notice the mundane details."

"You mean Malfoy..."

"Draco? No." she said shaking her head with a small laugh. "Well...maybe... there are times I know he is more observant sometimes than what he lets on. But we have a system worked out. I know when he's in trouble and he knows..."

And there was pop in front of them.

"When I am in trouble. Except he's a bit slow tonight, so I'm figuring the date with Astoria was going well before you frightened me."

"Bloody hell Princess!" Draco shouted when he saw her still in one piece and sitting on the stairs with Ron who was shocked to see Draco suddenly appear in front of him.

"Go back to Astoria," she waved at him, trying not to laugh at the fact his tie was missing, his shirt untuck and unbuttoned and the fact he was barefoot, while trying to ignore his slip up. "False alarm. Promise her whatever you need to to get her to forgive you and I'll cover the bill."

"You better," he snapped back and disapparated again before another word could be said by anyone.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Ron asked wrapping his arm around Pansy's shoulder

"Do what?"

"Foot the bill for Draco?"

"Trust me on this. He wouldn't have left so easily if I hadn't. I'm not in the mood to listen to him shout. I'm too tired for that. Walking all the way home was a mistake."

"Thank you for admitting it was a mistake," Ron snapped at her.

Pansy lifted her head up. Using her hand to turn his head to face her so he could see what she was about to say, she coolly replied, "I will admit when I am in the wrong."

"Sorry," Ron replied, "I'm not use to someone acquiescing so easily. I'll chip in for whatever Malfoy is buying his girl."

"Don't worry about it. I work because I want to. How about you buy dinner for the next couple of weeks."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," Pansy said emphatically, her head returning to his shoulder. "You know I didn't expect to see you tonight. I figured you'd get pissed with George and talk to him about your relationship."

"Well, we did talk and in the end there wasn't much to say. He agreed to finish closing tonight and I just wanted to thank you. So here I am."

"Oh," she whispered. "You're welcome by the way. Though I'm not sure what I did."

"Well, you got him to see the light of day about my so-called-relationship with Hermione. By the way, I need to know how you did that so I can use the strategy with my bloody mate and the rest of my family. Oh, and thanks for keeping me from beating the shit out of him."

"About that," she said, "I'd rather not do that again. Draco's kind of easy to refrain. He looks bigger than he is but frankly he's kind of a pussy. You on the other hand, it's kind of like refraining an injured bull. I'd really like to NOT experience that EVER again."

"I'll keep that in mind," he laughed, placing a kiss on her forehead.

"One more thing," she said with a yawn, "Do you mind if I'm a rude hostess and go to bed? I'm beat."

"Nah. I'm kind of beat too," he said, standing up. Pansy started to stand but suddenly found herself up being carried in Ron's arms. "Let's get you to bed."

"You know I can walk."

"I know and you can get use to someone trying to take care of you when they can," he retorted as if it had been on his tongue for sometime. "As well as paying attention to mundane details."

"You're know you asking for a miracle," she softly responded, finally letting her body relax into the arms that were supporting it.

"Correction," he whispered, "I'm expecting one."

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_A/N: Thank you all for the reviews. I do appreciate it you taking the time to do so. The next chapter will be another 2-part chapter. I will have both parts up by Saturday._


	8. Chapter 7 And Then There Were, Part I

**Disclaimer: Not the charters. Not the universe. Only the idea.**

* * *

"Am I late?" Pansy asked breathlessly. Ron was seated on the counter already, sipping a glass of fire-whiskey which surprised her. She didn't think that she was that late. He always waited for her to show up before pouring himself a glass.

She had gotten held up at her lab with Potter, having spent the last two hours trying to convince him she couldn't move any faster, especially if he didn't want Percy Weasley to know what she was really spending all those extra hours on in the lab. She even informed him, in not so pleasant terms, that she was working on this at home at all hours too but she left out the point that she was slowly driving Draco and Ron crazy with all the extra work. In the end, she demanded that he give her some breathing space, reminding him that he would be the first person to know if she came up with something. The shouting match they had descended into only came to a halt, when her boss came in looking for Potter about some raid and tossed more potions work on her desk from the Aurors. She had never been so thankful to see Percy Weasley in her entire life.

Not only was she still flustered from arguing with that stubborn fool, she had to run all the way down Diagon Alley to get to the shop by the time it closed. Luckily, Hannah had taken to waiting just outside the Leaky Cauldron with her now daily order of two sandwiches.

"No," Ron started with a grim look on his face as he poured himself another glass. "Just waiting for you."

"Is everything okay?"

"Funny thing happened today."

"Ok," she replied carefully not entirely sure what was going on.

"Remember how I told you that George decided to get Angelina tickets to the Harpies game on Valentine's Day but that he couldn't get any. So imagine my surprise when Angelina came running into the store this afternoon with tickets for the same game from George. An early Valentine's present."

Pansy forced a smile to appear on her face as she set the food on the counter by Ron, knowing that her generosity to George had been discovered. She just really wasn't sure what Ron was so angry about and decided to proceed with caution.

"And?" she asked in her best unaffected voice trying to act as innocent as possible.

"Oh I'm getting to the good part," Ron continued, the look on his face becoming increasing angry as he starred straight ahead, not looking in her direction. Pansy decided it probably would be better if she didn't move or get to comfortable for that matter. She was suddenly anticipating a quick trip home. And she didn't like it. "Ginny happened to be in the store and saw the tickets. You know what she asked Angelina?"

"No," she replied, though she had a good idea what Ginny asked as she moved back towards the door where her bag and cloak where.

"Ginny asked her how she got the owner's private box," Pansy watched as Ron refill his glass again, after spitting out those words. "Interesting isn't it? I tell you that George can't get tickets to a particular Harpie's game and not two days later he doesn't just have tickets, he's got tickets for the owner's private box. How did that happened?"

Any confidence that Pansy had, disappeared at the very moment, as she dropped her head down. She couldn't bring herself to look at him anymore or even in his direction. She started to fiddle with her hands as she counted the seconds until Ron blew up. Frankly, she was surprised she had gotten to 45 by the time he spoke again.

"I'm asking again, how did George come by those tickets?" Ron firmly asked, leaving no room for her to wiggle her way out.

"I gave them to him," she quietly admitted, her eyes utterly focused on the floorboards under her feet. Pansy, though, was not entirely sure what she had done that was so wrong. She just knew that her actions were wrong in his eyes and that hurt more than she ever thought it would or could.

"Why?" She could still hear the anger in his voice.

"I don't know," Pansy pleaded, shrugging her shoulders. Her head still down, she quickly explained, "I had them and I wasn't going to use them. When you said he wanted to take Angelina to that game, I figured that they would enjoy them and they wouldn't go to waste."

"Why didn't you just tell me that?"

"I don't know," she whispered. "I didn't think..."

The hollow laugh he gave, cut Pansy off as she shuddered in response to it.

He snapped, "You didn't think about sums it up. What are you playing at?"

"I'm not playing at anything," she pleaded, finally have the courage to look at him. She wished that she hadn't. She didn't like the look on his face, causing her to drop her head back down.

Unfortunately, Ron seemed to be on a roll as he continued, "You know beyond my better judgment I gave you the benefit of the doubt in spite of what happened at school. And you know what, I thought you had changed and I was glad that I gave you the chance. Now I'm back to wondering what's in it for you? Buying me off with expensive fire-whiskey is one thing. But Quidditch tickets for George? Do you think that will make people forget about what you were during the war?"

Her head snapped up and she starred at him dumbfounded. Not entirely sure if she heard him correctly. Hoping to Merlin, she didn't hear him correctly.

"Excuse me?"

"We all know what you were during the war. No amount..."

"I wasn't anything," she yelled cutting him off, her courage taking root in the knowledge that she was completely innocent of his accusations. "My family wasn't anything!"

"Bull shit! Just like Draco Malfoy wasn't anything! He wears the bloody mark!"

"Do NOT judge him," she roared, "You have no fucking idea what the two of us went through. Especially him."

He started to say something, jumping off the counter to face her and move closer but she refused to let him have the upper hand.

She quickly continued, "You have no idea what we had to do to survive! What we had to do to ensure our families survived? Until you walk a mile in our shoes, do NOT stand there and judge us!"

"How dare you think you are allowed to play poor pitiful me!" he yelled back. "Your family is whole. My family didn't walk away whole that night at Hogwarts! And you tried to add to that! YOU offered up my best mate on a platter! I had to save your best mate's life not once but TWICE! While you were running away, I was fighting! My family was fighting and dying!"

"You know what? Fuck you Ron Weasley," Pansy spat throwing her cloak on as fast as possible. "And fuck the broom you rode in on!" she added exiting the store and slamming the door so hard the glass broke.

She heard him yelling her name as she ran down Diagon Alley but she didn't care. She didn't care if she never heard his voice or see his face again. As far as she was concern, he was dead to her. She just hoped to Merlin, that he had the good sense to stay the fuck out of her flat. Or he was going to find out that her hexes were twice what his sister could throw at him. And she didn't even need a wand.

Unfortunately, four days later, in spite of the best intentions, Pansy found that her mind had a completely different idea. She found herself unable to stop thinking about him being so miserable without his presence in her life. He had somehow given her something that was missing in her life, though she couldn't quite put her finger on it just what she had determined was missing. She just knew there had been a hole in her life without him. She had taken to replaying the argument in her mind over and over again.

Unfortunately, it didn't help what little bit of sanity she was desperately clinging to that the two constants in her life had either voluntarily removed themselves from being within 10 feet of her or had been forcibly taken away.

Draco had grown tired of her most recent funk within a day and had taken to staying with Zabini full time. In fact, it had only taken six hours from the moment he heard what happened, for him to order her to stay in London before moving out of the flat because he realized, for the first time, he was unable to do anything to abate her tantrum. Or simply talk sense into her. His last words to of him no longer being enough for her brought tears to her eyes before she slammed the door after him.

Her lab, on the other hand, had been sealed from her entering due to a water leak on her level at the Ministry, causing her to be unable to go into work because she was couldn't do her work in a public lab. Leaving her in her deathly quiet flat with no where to go and nothing to do but slowly drive herself insane tilting at windmills with Potter's project.

The only bright thing to have occurred for Pansy in those four long, tedious days was that Draco had somehow managed convince her mother that Pansy attending her mother's last minute Valentine's dinner party would not be in anyone's best interest. Especially her mother's crystal and china. Instead Pansy was allowed to send her regrets and have her mother accept them without any argument, scolding or guilt. However, it also put her on edge today because Pansy had trouble believing her good fortunate. She knew her mother had the her best intentions at heart, she just wished she trusted her to leave her alone in her foxhole.

Working on Potter's blasted antidote, even in the comforts of her quiet flat did nothing to distract her. Everytime she picked up a new book or reviewed her notes, trying to figure out what she was missing, her mind kept racing back to that argument which resulted in her pitching another fit. Even the fact that it was now taking her longer to clean the flat up after the tantrum then the tantrum itself did nothing to stop her from throwing tantrum after tantrum throughout the course of the day.

Finally, she gave up trying to work when she realized she couldn't remember the last time she ate. Pansy figured that at least cooking would keep her hands and her mind occupied for a bit, while she worked her way through a bottle of red wine.

She was hoping to get just drunk enough tonight that she would pass out because she hadn't slept since her fight with Ron. Unfortunately, she was at the point that if she didn't fall asleep naturally tonight, she was going to have to start taking that damn potion again which she hated more than not sleeping to begin with. The stupid potion, which was suppose to help her sleep caused her to have worse nightmares then when she could sleep. And Pansy didn't want to ruin Draco's Valentine's plans by having a blasted nightmare. She didn't think there was enough money in the world to get Astoria to forgive Draco if he had to run out to attend to Pansy.

She was pouring herself another glass of wine as she starred off into space waiting for the timer to go off on her lasagna, when someone started knocking at her door. The sound startled her enough to make her jump and spill the wine she had been trying to pour on the table.

_Dammit_, she muttered with a heavy sigh.

She stalked to the door ready to kill her mother continuing to mutter obscenities under her breath. Then she thought about maybe hexing her so bad because that would ruin her party tonight. Who the hell throws a large dinner party on Valentine's day anyway?

Why couldn't her mother just leave her alone? And stop being her father's and the other's puppet. It wasn't like Pansy had a bloody choice in the matter of her love life. She knew that. Evidently they couldn't remember that.

Pansy couldn't count the number of times that both her parents, especially her father, scolded her for her bad attitude towards relationships and marriage in spite all she had been through. If her parents wanted her married so damn bad, in order to continue the line, then they should just force Pansy into another arranged marriage and be done with the whole charade of helping her making a sodding love match. Love match, what a fucking joke!

Slinging open the front door, she yelled, "Mother, I can not believe..."

She gasped when she realized it wasn't her mother standing on her front door step.

"Ron! What are you doing here?


	9. Chapter 7 And Then There Were, Part II

**Disclaimer: Not the charters. Not the universe. Only the idea.**

* * *

She watched him run his fingers through his hair, waiting for him to say something. Hell anything. But he just seemed to stare at the door frame to her right shoulder. Pansy was so thankful to see him, she just waited patiently.

Finally he said, "Ferret. I wanted to apologize..." and he trailed off.

"Do you want to come in?" she asked. Hoping he would say yes. Praying that he would say yes. "I'm about to pull a lasagna out of the oven and sit down for dinner."

"I'm s-s-sorry," he stuttered, still not looking at her, shuffling back from the front door. "I didn't know you had guests."

"I don't," she quickly said, grabbing for his wrist, silently imploring him to stay. "I was driving myself crazy earlier and decided to cook. You are welcome to join me," quickly dropping her grip on his wrist, she stepped aside with the front door open, hoping he would understand that he was welcome to come in. "I have a bottle of wine open but there is fire-whiskey in the bar in the front parlor, if you would rather."

She couldn't stop herself from letting out an audible sigh of relief when he finally came in to the hallway. Pansy blushed, when he turned to look at her having obviously heard her sigh. She smiled and didn't push him, instead quietly closing the door behind him and started to move into the kitchen. She figured he would talk when and if he wanted to. Pansy took to puttering about the kitchen putting together two plates of food. When she turned to put the food on the table and let him know the food was ready, she was surprised to find him already seated with a glass of wine for himself, her glass and a new bottle of wine.

Placing the food in front of him, she gave him a small smile before curling her feet up and under her in her own chair to eat.

She raised her glass to him not really expecting a gesture or words back with a soft smile.

He raised his own glass, returning the smile and asked "Friends?".

"Friends," she smiled, clinking his glass in toast.

"Look, I'm sorry..." he started.

"You don't have to apologize," she interrupted. Without stopping, she threw out the response that she had rehearsed for three days trying to figure out when she could apologize to him, "I'm the one that should be apologizing. I should have asked you about giving George the tickets before I hauled off and did it. More importantly, I shouldn't have tried to hide it from you especially when you confronted me."

"I don't agree," Ron replied, while picking up is fork, "I should apologize. I should have asked you in a calm manner instead of out right attacking you and believing the worse in you. It was a very generous gift and I know Angelina and George are having a wonderful time right now."

"What about me withholding information from you and then trying to lie about it?"

"I'm still not exactly thrilled that you did that but what's done is done."

"So where does this leave us?" Pansy asked hoping that there was some way to go back to the easy friendship she had found with him. She figured she would start with the pink elephant in the room, "We both said a lot of things in hurt and anger."

"That we did," Ron agreed, his eyes focused on the plate in front of him. "It's nothing we can take back."

"But everything we did say was true regardless."

"No it wasn't," Ron whispered still not looking up at her.

Pansy racked her mind trying to figure out what he was talking about, but she couldn't come up with anything. He had been right, her family had survived the war intact when his hadn't. And she had tried to sell his best mate out when he had to save Draco's life. Everything he said to her was true. Shaking her head gently, she reached over to put her hand on his hand, whispering, "It doesn't matter. I'm just glad you are here."

"How can you say that/" he asked incredulously, his voice straining as he stared at her hand resting on his.

"Because I can't think of one thing either one of us said that wasn't true," she gently but firmly told him. "You were right. My family..."

"How can you say that! I said your family was whole when my wasn't!" he interrupted, pulling away from her. Suddenly she understood.

"Ron please don't go there. My family is whole. I'm 21 years old, my mother has been my mother for seventeen years, much longer than my mum was," she told him while trying to reclaim his hand. She couldn't bear the thought of another quilt-ridden friend in her life. When there was no reason at all for either of them to feel guilty about choices other people made for her. "Please let it go." The last sentence came out more forcefully than she would have wanted it to.

Ron fell quiet staring at the plate of food in front of him. She tried to reach out to touch him again but he wouldn't let her. Pansy didn't know what she could say at that point to reach him. She waited for him to say something but he wasn't forthcoming. So she dug into the food on her plate. Hoping and wishing that he would do the same; that he ultimately would just stay.

Though she knew deep down she would chase after him if he left and would keep doing it until he stopped running from her. She wasn't sure what that meant, but at the moment, she didn't give a damn.

Pansy didn't let a full breathe out until she saw him pick up his fork and dig into his food. Closing her eyes briefly, she let out a grateful sigh. When she opened her eyes, she found Ron's on her and she blushed as she bit her lower lip but didn't say anything.

"So why weren't you going to be using those tickets," Ron asked, finally breaking the silence of the flat. "I mean they were the owner's box."

Shrugging her shoulders, "Originally before my mother planned a last minute dinner party for this evening? I had no one to go with. Quidditch games aren't fun to watch by yourself. It's more fun to yell at the ref with someone. With it being Valentine's, Ferret is trying to impress Astoria at some fancy restaurant. And I don't ever recommend watching a quidditch game with Nott, Goyle or Zabini. Especially Zabini. Zabini can't figure out his ass from a bludger most of the time. Though I do on most other occasions find Zabini amusing, provided I get him to ingest enough alcohol. Draco and the others, just want to throttle him when he's liquored up and beat me for encouraging his inappropriate behavior."

"Do I even want to know what the story is with Zabini?" he chuckled.

Pansy rolled her eyes, "Probably not. I know Goyle, Nott, and Draco try desperately hard to forget every time he gets liquored up since I won't let them use _obliviate_."

"That bad?"

"I actually find it amusing, only because I've been dealing with it since third year, but they don't," she laughed at the thought of the last time, "I'm officially on a timeout after the last time. His commentary that night proved to be quite colourful and legendary."

She watched as Ron threw his head back as he laughed. Even if there wasn't a smile on her face, she would have had one at that very moment just watching him.

"Oh this I've got to know," he grinned. "What is Mr. Zabini hiding in the closet?"

"It's not exactly in the closet. He's got this unrequited thing which causes him to turn into a bloody fool when he's had too much fire-whiskey."

"You aren't going to tell me any details, are you?"

"No," Pansy teased. "You've got to get it out of Draco. I promise its worth it."

"Aw, come on," Ron pleaded.

"Nope. You are out of luck Weasley."

"You're no fun," he whined. "Next thing I know you are going to poke fun of me for hanging out with you for the fourth holiday in a row."

"I wasn't."

"You were going to let that slide?"

Pouring herself another glass and topping off his with the rest, "Yes."

"Yeah right," he gave a hollow laugh. She hadn't noticed it until that very minute how much she hated that sound coming out of his mouth. It didn't belong.

"Honestly," she told him firmly before returning her attention back to her food. "Anyway I'm not the one bringing it up now."

"I thought you girls liked to analyze every little detail in a relationship?"

"Ron do you want to talk about whatever is bothering you or do you want to let it go?" she demanded, losing her patience with him.

When she didn't get a response after several minutes, she shook her head and answered his question, "Fine. Most do. I don't."

"Why not?"

"I find it to be a waste of time and good oxygen. Most people would find that if they simply had honest conversations with their partners; paid a little attention to how their partner received and showed affection; relied a little on their instincts; and realized that successful relationships are more practical than those knut-store romances would have them believe – they would experience much less drama in their relationship."

"Wow. Been holding that in for a while?"

"Maybe," she sighed. "I'm typically the one in my group of friends who everyone whines to about their relationships – for some reason since my dating record is less than stellar. Daphne swears it's because I'm the only one willing to kick ass and tell people what they need to hear about their relationship and not what they want to here."

"If I ask you a question about what you just said will you snap at me?"

"No. Ask away."

"What do you mean about paying attention to how a person shows and receives affection?"

"Everyone shows and receives affection or love, whatever you want to call it, differently. For example, say all your parents do is tell you that they love you, after a while you learn to recognize that as love and in return that is how you show someone you love them. However, if your parents always physically touch you by giving your hugs and kisses when they tell you they love you, then you are more than likely going to show love the same way."

She expected Ron to ask more, but he was quiet. Turning to look at him, she saw him deep in thought. Pansy let him have his silence, well actually she welcomed it hoping that he didn't want to continue this conversation after all, and started to clean the dishes away.

"Do you think," he asked, "if two people show love in different ways that they can work as a couple?"

"Sure," she replied, starting some coffee, "but each has to understand how the other shows love and both be willing to bend and learn from the other. They need to acknowledge that neither is right or wrong. They just show their love differently. And there is nothing wrong with that."

"How do you show love?" Pansy froze when she heard him. It was an honest question but she couldn't give him an honest answer. She stalled contemplating to think of answer.

Finally settling on a response, she whispered, "I don't know. Relationships have never been high on my priority list. Which actually says a lot about my dating record. There are times I've been accused of making Zabini look like the poster child of monogamy."

"What?" he sounded incredulous. "What about Malfoy? Didn't you date him for a couple of years?"

"The answer is yes and no," finally admitting the truth to someone not named Draco. "Our relationship was based on an expectation that we were suppose to be together. We honestly tried to make it work for a bit, and I'm talking maybe a few months, but we realized we were better off being friends."

"But I thought you two were together for a few YEARS?"

"Ron, Draco and I carrying on the illusion of a relationship was beneficial to both of us as well as expected by our families. We are each other's closest friend so it wasn't hard to maintain the illusion of affection in front of the school or our friends. Watch us together even today, it's not hard to see why people not close to us still make assumptions."

"When did you finally stop pretending?"

"The Battle of Hogwarts. Expectations were finally gone for both us. Leaving us free to do what we liked with our lives for a change. I do have to add, it took Draco an additional three years to finally ask Astoria out on a date." Shuddering at the thought of how many nights she had put up with his whining, "Drove me up a wall actually. I came close to killing him a few times even while we were still at Hogwarts."

Ron began to laugh. That loud, boisterous love she had come to associate with him. She watched him in awe as the glimmer of the young boy she remembered from her school days came through. It made her realize just why most of the female Hogwarts population found him attractive, when he kept his mouth shut. She was jealous that he could look so innocent after all he had been through. Pansy wondered if she ever looked that innocent.

"Hasn't anyone told you," he laughed, "We boys are a bit incompetent when it comes to relationships."

"At least it provided the school with an unlimited supply of entertainment especially during those bleak winter months."

"It's nice to know I was a source of entertainment for you," Ron teased her. She couldn't hide her shock at his jest. She had purposefully left her statement vague figuring that the mention of Granger would set him off.

"You weren't the only one, though I do have to say you two were pretty legendary" she replied honestly. "Anyway don't forget about me being all gooey and pathetic over bloody Draco. Still makes my insides turn to this day if I think about it."

She watched as Ron fell quite again, "Coffee?" she asked, getting up to get her a cup herself.

"Sure."

Pansy filled two cups with coffee and placed them on the table. Grabbing a cannister of biscuits on the counter, she put them between the two of them before curling back up in her seat.

"I ended it," he whispered starring into his coffee cup.

"Are you okay?"

"I actually find myself feeling better than I have in a long time," he started, running his finger around the top of the coffee mug. "Though I'm not sure how she was so surprised by me ending the charade. She kept saying she loved me but it just kept sounding like words. Then I found myself trying to explain to her what I wanted that she wasn't willing or able to give me. I felt like such a prat bringing it up. But she kept wanting answers as to why I wanted to break it off. Asking me if there was someone else. Had I been cheating on her. And she wouldn't shut up. She kept making it sound like our relationship ending was all my fault because she believed herself to be completely innocent in our relationship failing."

"What did you want from her, that she was unwilling to give?'

"Time. I wanted her around. No matter what she says, I did and do understand she has work and obligations with her parents. On top of that, she is still, for whatever reason, holding onto the guilt surrounding what she had to do to protect them during the war. I could never seem to get through to her that it would have been nice to have an evening together once a week. Something more than letters and an occasional 20 minute visit. I wasn't asking for all of her spare time, I was asking her for some of her spare time."

"What did she say about that?"

"That my expectations where too high. That I had been unwilling to be there for her. Et cetera. Et cetera. I woke up in the middle of the argument, realizing that I couldn't remember the last time she actually saw me. And here I was with the girl of my childhood dreams being verbally castrated for not be understanding enough. My dream had become such a nightmare."

"I'm sorry," Pansy said, reaching out and touching his hand.

She watched as Ron seem to study her hand on his this time, thinking it was bothering him, she made a movement to pull it away. However, she was surprised when he caught it in his hand and gently started to rub circles in the back of it.

"The worst part is," he quietly said, "I'm not ready to face my family, though I think Harry and Ginny know by now courtesy of Hermione. And if Ginny knows, then the entire family knows. I just don't want to any one of them drag me over the coals. I'm just not ready to face them."

"I think you're selling your family short," she told him, knowing that she had more than once had done that to her family and especially Draco and her mother. "They may or may not respond appropriately at first, but I don't think they will drag you over the coals for you ending a relationship where you were so miserable. Especially if you take the high road and keep what happened to yourself and explain that the relationship has simply ended."

"Is that what you did?"

"With Draco? That's what we both did. The end of our relationship and anything that may have led to it, is no one's business but our own."

"And people were okay with that?"

Pansy let out a laugh as she thought about their friends reactions when they found out, "Of course not. Not at first but after a while, people started approaching us and telling us how impressed they were about us handling the end of our relationship in such a mature fashion. I think your family and friends will probably react the same way."

"You've never met my mother," Ron replied petulantly.

Pansy sighed, "No I haven't but I think you are trying to be difficult at the moment," taking a deep breath, "I won't harbor you forever but there are three other bedrooms in this house. Two on the second floor with Draco, and one on my floor. You are welcome to claim one as a hideout if you need. However, if I catch you and Draco dueling, I'll finish you both off myself."

"Are you sure?"

"About the room or or the dueling?" she grinned, trying to tease a smile out of Ron.

"The dueling part. I know you are sure about the room."

Pansy started to laugh, squeezing his hand in attempt to reassure him. She watched as a smile started to form on his face and the light that she hadn't noticed was gone slowly return to his eyes.

"It's about bloody time you two made up," Draco's voice rang through the kitchen. "Merlin, I was about ready to blab your little secret to get help from Potter and throw the two of you in a locked room. Pansy, do you realize that one of us had to live with Zabini for four days?"

Looking at Ron, she rolled her eyes, but called out to Draco, "I didn't make you move out. You did that all on your own."

"You could've fooled me," Draco's voice taking on the tone of annoyance. "At least when I get mad, I tear up the flat once."

"Kettle meet Cauldron. How many times did you tear it up the first couple of times you tried to ask Astoria out," she pushed trying to hide the laughing fit she was holding in.

"One for every time. Unlike you, who has torn it up how many times over ONE incident. At least four times. Four bloody times in the first SIX hours," Draco taunted back. "But you're forgiven. Only because I can go crawl into my own bed and get a decent nights sleep without knowing the nature of Zabini's dreams. I swear the years have only made them more colourful and indecent. It's a miracle that any girl ever stays over with him."

"Night, Ferret," she called out to his retreating form. She saw him sharply wave his hand signaling his good night. Once she thought he was up the stairs, she burst out laughing, thinking about what Draco must have gone through the last few nights. It was obvious that Ron had thought she lost her mind.

"You do realize that he won?" he asked.

Smiling as she wiped away a tear, "Trust me, he didn't. Living with Zabini is the one thing he hates more than anything; even you and Potter. He'll be fighting with me for at least two more weeks because of it. Trust me, you'll start to see the entertainment value of it in no time. Just remember that he is sometimes nothing more than a spoiled child who hates not getting his way."

"Why does he hate living with Zabini?"

"I told you earlier," she teased, "You will have to get that out of Draco. But rest assure the story will be worth it."

"Come on," he whined, "Tell me."

"No. And don't even try to get it from Nott or Goyle, if you see them. I happen to know they are in agreement with me that it is much more funny when Draco tells it."

"Fine," Ron pouted, pulling his hand away from hers and crossing his arms across his body. Pansy giggled at the obviously show of Ron's playfulness. "But instead you have to tell me something that only the Ferret knows about you."

Pansy struggled to keep a smile on her face, and a lightness in her voice, when she replied, "What?"

"Either tell me what is so funny about Zabini or tell me something about you that only the Ferret knows."

"What do I get in return?" she stalled, trying to think of something she was ready to tell someone outside of Draco. Or something that only he knew, that she could tell Ron.

"I'll return the favor."

"That isn't fair. You are an open book."

"You don't know what my biggest fear is?"

Pansy threw her head back when she laughed, "That's not a secret. Everyone in our class at Hogwarts knows. It's bloody spiders."

"How do you know it hasn't changed since we were fourteen? I've fought a war since then."

_Dammit,_ she thought, _he has a point_.

"Fine. I'll tell you something that only Draco knows but you have to tell me something that only Potter knows."

"Fine. You first."

Taking a few minutes to think about it, Pansy finally decided that the one the thing that scared Draco the most was the one thing she wanted Ron to know so she wouldn't have to go through the pain of someone finding out that secret abruptly again. Unfortunately, if Draco or anyone else who knew the secret found out, they might just kill her and save themselves the hassle of keeping her alive. She just knew deep down that Ron was worth the risk.

"My eyes," she said taking a deep breath. "They aren't hazel."

"Nice try," Ron replied leaning forward, clearly studying them. "But they are."

"No they aren't. They are this bright, purplish blue, almost the colour of the wolfsbane flowers. I use glamours to hide them. Been doing so since I can remember."

"Why?"

"Haven't you noticed that I really don't try to draw attention to myself unless I absolutely, positively need to?"

She took a deep breath to settle the case of nerves that overtook her, in spite of her wanting to show Ron. Pansy couldn't believe she was about to do show anyone her eyes. Draco had been the last one to see their true colour five years ago.

Closing her eyes to remove the glamour, she didn't know what she expected Ron to do when he saw them. Taking another deep breath, she opened her eyes.

She watched as Ron's eyes widen in shock and waited for him to gasp, pull back or runaway. But he didn't. He didn't say a word as he looked at them, at her. For the first time, Pansy felt that someone was really looking at her; searching her face and eyes to make sure it really was her. She never known someone who could look at her like that and not be afraid. Not run in absolute terror or fall to their knees in awe and reverence.

"They're a bit ostentatious," she finally said breaking the silence. She closed her eyes to put the glamour back on.

"Don't," she heard Ron snapped. There was something in his voice that puzzled her. He wasn't angry or upset but his quick one word answer caused her eyes to open in a flash. "Please don't...at least not when it's just the two of us."

"Why?" she replied. No one had ever asked her to do that. They all insisted she used glamours on them especially her father. Pansy melted into his hand as he cupped her cheek affectionately.

"I like being able to actually see you," he whispered.

"Okay," she whispered back, unconsciously moving closer to him. "I think you owe me something now."

"I lied," he smiled removing his hand from her face but leaning in towards her. "I'm an open book. There's nothing Harry knows that you don't."

"Bastard," she smiled back at him swatting at his head. In the back of her mind, she was wondering if there was some way she could kick Draco out and have Ron move in permanently; she had this crazy thought that life just may be simpler that way. She just wondered how she would convince anyone to let that happen.

She watched him lean in closer and whisper into her ear, "But what if I tell you something only I know?"'

"I'm all ears," she whispered back, her heart starting to pound.

"I'm scared to lose you."

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_A/N: Those who have left reviews. Thank you again. Kudos to **Wonderfall** for all her wonderful reviews, **Clumsy Tonks** for not trusting the looking glass, and to **Jade Star** who has to listen to me whine everytime I need a last-minute second opinion before I publish each chapter and is the reason this story is posted. Those who haven't reviewed, please take a moment to do so -- I really want to hear what everyone has to say as the looking glass starts to fade away. Chapter 8 Status -- I should be posting it by Tuesday._

_A/N #2: If you want to know Hermione's reaction to the break-up please let me know either through your review or a PM. If I have enough people respond by the time the next chapter goes live, I will post what I wrote to flush out the break-up from both sides. If not, don't be surprised if I send it to you via a PM.  
_


	10. Chapter 8 Fighting Nightmares

**Disclaimer: Not the characters. Not the universe. Only the idea.**

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"Aren't you done yet?" Ron's whine broke Pansy out of her thoughts as she was trying to finish up the books for the evening. The ministry's latest order of WWW products was the largest one she had to reconcile yet and Ron didn't seem to understand that it took time. A lot of uninterrupted time. Then again, there was probably a reason that Ron, George and her all agreed it was in the best interest of WWW and it's bottom line if she did their books.

"Like I told you ten minutes ago, no," she sighed, readjusting her ponytail. "Why don't you go ahead? I'll finish securing the store tonight."

"I don't want to be stuck in the flat by myself with Malfoy. He's playing poker tonight with Nott, Zabini, Goyle, and I don't know how many other Slytherins. You really can't expect us not to get back into bad habits and duel until we destroy the front parlor," Ron teased his bright eyes twinkling like a small child on Christmas.

Pansy looked up from the ledger, and knew that he was telling the truth. Though she had to admit that she had been impressed with the fact that in the ten days the three of them had basically lived together, Ron and Draco had managed not to hex each other to bits. Though there had been a wide range of childish jinxes used between the two which had only led to several outbursts of laughter on Pansy's part which neither Ron nor Draco appreciated.

She really hadn't expected Ron to stay this long when she offered him one of the spare bedrooms. In all honestly, she had expected him to go back to Grimmauld Place after a few days of quiet solitude and get back with Hermione, but he hadn't. She was beginning to think that there was more to the end of their relationship than he led her to believe. But she figured it wasn't her place to question him, as far as Pansy was concerned it really wasn't any of her business to begin with.

She also could've sworn he had basically moved in by the large amount of Cannons poster on the walls of the bedroom he had claimed down the hall from Draco's. But he hadn't said anything and again she didn't ask. While Draco just appeared to take it in stride, teasing her at every opportunity about her latest flatmate.

"You can always go to Grimmauld Place and I'll owl you when I'm done. I'm sure your best mate would love to see his supposed flatmate," she replied trying to turn her attention back to the ledger. She didn't want to admit that in all likelihood, her concentration had become shot with the most recent of his interruptions.

"Come on," he continued to whine. "Tomorrow's Saturday. You don't have to go into the Ministry, do you?"

"No. Not unless something comes up...Why?" Exasperated she turned to look at him.

"Then I'll come get the books first thing in the morning and you can finish them up whenever you want from the comforts of your own room without me bugging you every few minutes to go home. Remember I have to work all day tomorrow."

Ron threw Pansy his best puppy dog eyes. She just gave up with a sigh and a shake of her head, she hated how powerless she was against that look, "Fine. But I want dinner or a bottle of fire-whiskey or something else, for having to work on the day I was planning on taking off and doing nothing."

"Deal," he said, throwing her her cloak. Closing the ledger in front of her and removing it from her grasp before she could change my mind, before continuing, "But it's my surprise with when and what."

"Fine. I have a question for you then, what are you going to do when we get back to the flat and I go straight to bed?" she asked putting on her cloak.

That stopped him in his tracks. Evidently Ron never thought that that was a possibility when he started whining about going home. He just starred at her and whined, yet again, "But it's Friday. Let's go out somewhere."

"I know it's Friday," she replied, moving towards the fireplace. "It's been a long week at the ministry with 16 hour days thanks to all the arrests your best mate has been making the past week. I'm exhausted Ron. It's half the reason I can't seem to get the books reconciled tonight."

"You're right. Let's get you home," he said grabbing her suddenly pulling her body against his causing her to wrap her arm around his waist for balance, and apparating them to her bedroom.

"You know you didn't have to do that," she scolded him when she could breathe again swatting at him. "I'm tired but I can get home by myself...

Anything else she was about to say trailed off her tongue with the sudden realization that her body in such full contact with his was disconcerting. And that was probably putting it mildly.

Pansy turned her head up to look at him not wanting to remove her arm from around him quite yet but he didn't seem too concern to let go of her either. Something felt right about it. From the way her arm seemed to fit around his waist to how her body felt pressed against his body. She wondered how she never noticed it before – they were fairly physically affectionate for friends.

From the look in Ron's eyes and on his face as he focused on something straight ahead, she surmised he was pondering the same thing. Something was different now and Pansy couldn't put her finger on it. She just wondered when everything had changed. And how neither one of them noticed it until this accidental moment. Or was that the secret lurking behind Draco's smirks the last few days, when she caught his eyes?

However, a more pressing question started to form in her mind as she stood frozen in their once innocent embrace – would he stay with her tonight if she asked. She no longer wanted to sleep in her bed by herself tonight. She couldn't. She knew beyond a doubt that she couldn't sleep by herself. That she needed someone to stay with her and she didn't want to ask Draco to do that tonight. Or anymore. She wanted Ron to stay. She'd be safe with him. She knew it.

Pansy watched as he turned his face down to look at her. Even in the dim light of her bedroom, she saw something flash in his eyes causing her to gasp before she held her breath. She just wasn't sure what that something was.

"Ron," she whispered as she felt his hand come up and caress her face. He didn't say anything as he tucked her hair behind her ear. His calloused fingertips carefully brushed against her jaw and neck sending a shiver down her back that she couldn't hide. Even if she wanted to which she didn't.

"You look exhausted," he whispered back, his voice strained. Pansy felt her feet go from under her as he swept her up in his arms. "Let's get you to bed."

Pansy pulled her body even closer into him settling into his arms. He felt so warm and comfortable, so firm and powerful. Pansy felt safer in his arms at that very moment then she had ever had with Draco. Part of her mind recognized that thought as being a dangerous realization, for it was only a matter of time before he voluntarily went back to Hermione or Pansy pushed him back towards her, since friendship was all she could freely offer him. And he deserved more than that. She believed he deserved everything.

"Ron," she whispered as he sat her on her bed, wrapping her hand in his jumper; a half-hearted attempt to keep him as close to her as possible.

The loss of contact with his body caused her to suddenly realize that she didn't want to let him go. Pushing back the thoughts of how wrong her thoughts were, she made her decision.

_Damn the consequences, _she told herself.

She wanted him for whatever time she could have him. If it was a week, a month or a year, or even just tonight, she didn't care. Pansy just wanted to feel normal. Like she did at that very moment with him.

He was now forced to sit beside her because of her grip on his jumper, causing the bed to sink further. In order to focus, she banished all other thoughts from her mind except her singular goal -- to get him to stay with her tonight.

Pansy let him undo her cloak, pulling it off her and dropping it onto the floor. His eyes never meeting hers. Always looking elsewhere. She watched as he pulled her feet up over his legs to undo her boots. She fought back the comment that was on the edge of her tongue as he went through the motions of removing her shoes and socks because there was something so sweet about the gesture of him trying to get her ready for bed. Something she couldn't even remember her mother doing.

"Go to sleep," he whispered, placing a kiss on her forward and pushing her legs under the covers as he stood up. "I'll avoid the Slytherin gathering downstairs and promise the flat will still be standing in the morning when you wake. I'll behave."

"I don't care," she muttered. "I..." she started before he cut her off by pulling her sweater over her head.

"Yes you do care. Now go to sleep."

"Ron," she whispered, reaching for his nearby hand. She had the overwhelming need to touch him and for him to touch her even more. Instead he avoided her touch, pulling the sheets up and tucking her arms in with the rest of her body, while she pleaded, "Stay, please."

She heard him groan as he shook his head before turning away and saying, "You need to sleep, and I promise you that you will sleep better without me hogging the bed and covers."

"I promise you I won't," she whispered finally successful in grabbing his hand while his eyes focused on the door to her bedroom "You've stayed with me before on the couch. Stay with me now on the bed. Please just stay tonight."

"Pansy, you don't understand what you are asking," his voice cracked.

"I know exactly what I am asking," she pleaded. "I'm asking you to stay."

She could have sworn he said something, but no sound came out of his mouth. Pansy watched him pull his hand out, grabbing her cloak and sweater and placing them on a chair as he exited the door. Never looking back. Leaving Pansy to watch his retreating form while tears started to burn her eyes.

She waited until he had closed the door behind him without a good night before she started her tantrum. She wanted him to hear her. To know that she was angry with him. To know that he hurt her. That his rejection had hurt her. She waited for her temper to boil but it didn't. Nothing happened though except her eyes began to burn.

Sighing deeply, desperately trying to prevent the tears from falling, she pulled herself out of bed and started to take off the rest of her cloths tossing them around her room instead of putting them away in the hamper in her dressing room. If Ron wasn't going to stay with her, then there wasn't a need to sleep in anything more than her underwear and a tank top as usual.

Crawling back onto her bed to cry, Pansy felt her eyes grow heavy as her mind drifted off when she laid her head down on her pillow and snuggled into the sheets, tears rolling down her face. All her questions about why he wouldn't stay kept rolling through her mind. And all of those questions focused on Granger. Especially the one that caused her to be stumped – she couldn't figure out what Granger had that was so desirable to Ron.

In the distance, she vaguely could hear someone say her name as lights began to fill the blackness of the room. Looking around, she couldn't see a face or a body to go with the voice. Actually it was voices. She started hearing distinct voices yell. She did see an open door straight ahead. The voices were behind that door. Heading to the door, she carefully pushed it open a little further to see what was inside. Her curiosity always got the better of her. Her mum swore it would be the death of her one of these days.

The light blinded her momentarily until she saw her mum. There was something different about her. Bear. Her father. Her nanny. They were arguing with someone with long white hair. Kingsley. Arthur. His face was as red as his hair. Professor Lupin. John. Wands were drawn. Professor Dumbledore. Andromeda. She was yelling. Screaming. Ted....

The lights blinded her momentarily as voices started to yell at her to go back. To turn around. To leave. The man with the white hair smirked at her. Someone yelled her name. She saw her nanny start to run for her. Her blonde curls escaping from her bun. A purplish-blue light filled the room and more screaming filled her ears. Red lights. Pushing further, she felt something try to push her back but she refused to go back into that black room she came from. She fought off the arm that wrapped around her waist. Green lights. Running forward.

She stopped in her tracks when all she could see in her field of vision was her mum laying in front of her as different colour lights flashed. Her mum's long, wavy, auburn hair splaying around her head like a crown. Blue light flashed. Pansy ran to her mum dropping to her knees. Grabbing the Slytherin green robes, she started screaming. As lights of different colours continued to shoot over her head. She screamed for her mum begging her to wake up. To say something. To say anything.

But her mum didn't move. She didn't move at all. Red light flashed. Looking closer at her face, Pansy saw her mum's eyes wide and frozen in their purplish blue color. She screamed at her mum not to leave her. That she couldn't leave her by herself. That she needed to wake up. Her mum didn't move though. She just laid there starring at the ornate ceiling above. She screamed at her mother again, to wake up. The flashing colourful lights suddenly stopped.

Her mum just laid there. She wouldn't wake up. She begged her to wake up. To wake up for her.

A voice yelling her name from the distance caused her head to snap away. She looked for the owner of the voice but saw no body. She knew the voice but didn't recognize it. Something told her she had to find it. Her life depended on it. That her mum was gone and she had to save herself. That the voice could help her. It could save her. She had to save herself.

She had to find that voice in the sea of flashing lights that had started again. Hearing her name again, she turned from her mum's body and started to run towards where she thought it was coming from. Sending her back into blackness.

"Please!"

The desperation in the voice tore at her, as she struggled to find the voice. Panic was starting to set in as she fumbled in the darkness. She had to find the voice and she couldn't. She needed that voice. Her chest was tightening up, making it painful to take a breath. She had to fight. She had to get to the voice. The voice could save her, would save her. If only she could find it. She had to find it.

The darkness started to smother, as she stopped to listen for the voice. For any sign of hope, of any sign that she was going survive this.

There was her name again. Calling out to her. Calling her home. To safety.

"Please," she heard the voice beg painfully.

Tears began to form in her eyes, as she stumbled, the tightening in her chest started to become unbearable. Her legs unable to support her anymore, she fell to the ground. Crawling now, she was trying to get to the voice. To tell them it would be okay. That she was okay.

But she was so tired, maybe if she took a nap, maybe then she could find the voice.

"Don't leave me."

She had to find the voice. Find the voice --

"You can't leave me"

"Not now."

"Not yet."

"Especially now that I have found you."

A rush a warm air hit her body hard. Her body jerking. A strong arm quickly tightened itself around her waist to stop her from continuing forward. Holding her firm against a solid body. A warm solid body. Her eyes struggling to focus. Her mind still hazy trying to figure out where she was. There was a buzzing in her ears. She was so confused. Where was the voice? The voice that would save her.

Her confusion led to her to crying, as she started to sob into the body that was holding her and rocking her. How could the voice have left her?

She refused to be alone in this world anymore.

He couldn't leave her. She wouldn't let him.

"Princess?"

At the sound of Draco's soft voice, the fog lifted. Her eyes cleared, revealing her bedroom.

A fire roaring in the fireplace behind him as Draco stood at the foot of the bed, clothed only in a pair of black silk pants. His short hair was disheveled as if he had been woken up suddenly. His eyes tired but relieved. She could see the evidence that he had been crying. His eyes were red and puffy. She watched him wipe his eyes before running both hands through his hair, as was his custom when he felt any powerful emotion.

Quilt coursed through her body.

"Are you okay?" he whispered gently.

She nodded taking deep breaths trying to collect herself, she whispered, "I think so."

"I'll go make some tea," his voice cracked before quickly exiting the room. Her eyes followed him out before shutting tightly, trying to hold back the tears. Tears for Draco and what she must have put him through this time.

She collapsed into the body that was holding her. Pressing her face into the naked chest. Taking in the smell. She knew that smell. Realizing that at the moment, it was Ron holding her. She knew that everything was going to be all right as he rocked her, saying nothing as she sobbed.

"I'm sorry I woke you too," she whispered when she was able to collect herself. She found herself running her hand softly against his chest, taking in the softness of the red hair she found there.

"How often does this happen?"

"Every so often," she choked out. "Nothing really regular, not anymore at least. You'll have to ask Draco for more specifics."

Silence filled the room as Ron held her, his hands gently caressing her exposed skin. His head resting on Pansy's. She let him hold her as she clung to him.

Breaking the silence, she whispered, "It's been awhile since he looked like that. Like he didn't think I was going to come out of it."

"I don't think he did," he responded softly, pressing a kiss onto the top of her head.

"Is he okay?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"The last really bad one, really destroyed him with everything else going on at school."

"He....Wait a minute, how did he get to your room at Hogwarts?"

"We shared a room. Special arrangements were made so I could attend school with the nightmares and all. Draco was my roommate by the end."

"Oh," was all he said before going quiet.

"You didn't just scare him," he whispered, kissing her forehead. "Draco heard you first. I came as soon as he yelled for me to move my arse. I don't think I've ever seen him that bent out of shape and that is saying a lot after the Battle of Hogwarts."

"How long..."

"At least 5 minutes. I don't know how long Draco was up here before he yelled for me."

"Where were you?"

"Having a drink in the kitchen. Collecting my thoughts."

"Oh."

"Pansy," he whispered. There was something in his voice that caused her to look up into his eyes that were full with a thousand different emotions. There appeared to be so many thoughts, emotions, reactions running through his mind. She sighed as she felt his fingertips skim along her face between combing through her hair.

Reaching out with her hand, she gently touched his rough face as his hand explored hers softly, almost seductively. Feeling the growth on his face. Grazing along his jaw line. She let her fingertips touch his lips gently, tracing them, wondering what they would feel like against her own.

Draco's coughing brought them back to the present with a small jump. Pansy hadn't realized that she had gone anywhere. Her focus turned to Draco, who had sat a tray with three cups of tea on to the bed. There was something different in the way he was looking at her. It only took a moment before she could put her finger on it. His eyes, they weren't filled with guilt anymore. After all this time, the simple realization he had finally let everything that had pass go, brought a soft smile to her face as she snuggled back into the safety and security of Ron's arms as his arms instinctively wrapped around her tighter.

"I think you are going to have to tell him," Draco gently said returning her soft smile.

"But..."

Draco shook his head, "Theo will help me deal with your father and everyone else, if it comes to that. Weasley needs to know."

"But..."

"Just tell him Lizzie," Draco snapped. Pansy gulped at the murderous look on Draco's face. Biting her lip, she knew at that very moment what he had done. He had just signed his death warrant. For her. "Or I will go to your father first thing in the morning."

"B..."

"Stop arguing and tell him NOW Lizzie."

"Does this have to do with your mum?" Ron asked quickly. She saw the flash of surprise in Draco's eyes at the question.

She nodded her head in response to Ron's question. Still trying to figure out how she was going to even begin to explain everything else. Or at least what she could explain and keep Draco safe.

"So," Ron gently said, "Lizzie?"

"Um," she said her eyes fixated on Draco for guidance.

"Tell him," Draco ordered, at that very moment it was easy to appreciate Draco as Lucius' son with his icy cold glare.

No one spoke, as she still tried figured out just what to say to Ron. She took the cup of tea that Ron offered her but refused to move from his lap forcing him to move the tray closer so he had someplace to put his own cup, since she was taking up one of his arms.

Taking a deep breath, she started "My given name is Elizabeth; Lizzie for short. The night my mum was murdered, I saw who did it. In the haste to protect me, I was sent away with my nanny. By the time, I was brought back to England, the nickname Pansy had stuck and I officially became Pansy Parkinson."

"You told me they never caught who did it. But why if you know who did it?"

Pansy started to say something, but Draco cut her off, "You forget Weasley that some wizards believed they were above the law prior to the war. And many of them found themselves to be with enough galleons to be so."

"I don't understand."

"Not just anyone killed my mum Ron," she whispered.

"It shouldn't matter," he replied, Pansy felt something tug at her upon hearing his indignation rise in his voice. "Murder is murder"

"It doesn't matter..." she started before Draco interrupted her.

"She's right. You know as well as we do that there was no way that anyone was going to send my father to Azkaban at the time, especially not Cornelius Fudge."

"What?" Ron snapped. Pansy tightened her grip on the cup as he looked back and forth between Draco and Pansy before focusing his eyes on Pansy, "I don't understand how...."

"Easy. Draco isn't his father. Anyway remember how I told you the Battle of Hogwarts took away a lot of expectations for the two of us. Us getting married being the major one. We worked through a lot to get to where we are because of that," she reached her hand up to hold his cheek to offer him some comfort.

"And the nightmares?" Ron asked timidly after a few minutes silence. His hand running through her hair gently, keeping strands tucked behind her ear, his face silently pleading for her to make him understand.

"I relive everything I went through the night that she died."

She waited for him to say something but he didn't he just held her. Studying her face. Searching her eyes. Looking for something. Pansy wanted to shy away from his intense glare but she couldn't. She knew she had to make him understand. That she wanted him to understand. Though she couldn't figure out just what she needed and wanted him to understand about that night.

"You knew," he asked, his voice full of awe as she saw something click in his head. "You knew you were going to have one tonight."

"She won't admit it," Draco responded standing back up. Taking the empty tea cups away from Ron and Pansy, "She always does. Does this needy, desperate thing before going to bed. Quite annoying really. I'm just glad, I don't have to deal with these on my own anymore. Since she doesn't seem to respond to me, like anyone bloody well cares in the first place. I'm just the bloody help. I'll see you two in the morning."

"Draco," Pansy called out. "Please don't go and see my father."

"Remember – only you."

Pansy waited until Draco had exited the room and closed the door before saying, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the nightmares." Not really wanting to explain what Draco had just said to her, she wasn't ready for that part yet – if ever.

"Who else knows about them?"

"I think only Draco and my family but I'm not positive."

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Pansy heard the hurt in his voice. She turned her head up to look at him and saw the hurt also in his eyes.

"I don't know," she confessed, ashamed to look at him, though the answer she wanted to give was more than likely a resounding no. She didn't want to admit that to him.

She felt him stand up with her still in his arms. When it became clear, he was only doing so to put her in bed again, her eyes started to burn. For it was obvious that he wasn't going to stay the night, even after a nightmare, and that was painful. Through the fog of her tears, she watched him tuck her in. He was rejecting her twice in one evening. The very evening she needed him more than ever. Whether he realized it or not.

By the time, he had finished, she had made her decision regarding what she was going to do next. She was going to fight him about this. She was going to fight for him. She needed him. And all that he gave her. No matter how short the time she could have him. She didn't care how wrong it is or what anyone would say. Or if it would hurt anyone outside of them.

Grabbing his arm before he got too far, she pulled herself up onto her knees, and cried, "I'm sorry. Just please stay tonight."

"Let me go," he sighed, trying to undo her grip on his arm. "We can talk in the morning. I promise."

"No." she fussed like a petulant child. Hell, she felt like one at that very moment. "No."

"Pan...Liz..What the hell am I suppose to call you?" he yelled at of nowhere, his temper suddenly boiling over. She refused to let go of his arm. She knew if she did, he would just leave faster.

Her mind suddenly cleared as she focused on him. On his long red hair and bright blue eyes. His pale complexion littered with freckles. She didn't given a damn about anyone else anymore. He was the only thing that mattered to her at this very moment. She wanted him to be her world.

"I don't care what you call me," she fussed. "It doesn't matter as long as you are the one doing the calling."

"Parkinson," he growled meeting her glare for glare. She saw a familiar flash in his eyes. A flash of desire and decided to push her luck. It was now or never.

"Why don't we just be honest with each other?" she whispered settling the nerves that were threatening to take over what little sanity she had left.

"About what?" anger still seething through his voice.

"This."

Taking a deep breathe to steady herself, knowing that this was the craziest thing she had done yet when it came to her favorite Gryffindor. She grabbed his face between her two hands and held his head still as she pressed her lips to his.

To her immense pleasure, she felt his arm wrap around her waist and pull her body against his as he started to kiss her back. A moan escaped her mouth, as she allowed his tongue to slip past her open lips, deepening the kiss as she threaded her fingers through his hair.

She felt him pull back suddenly causing her to groan at the lost of contact with his lips.

"Stop thinking," she whispered, searching his panicked-filled blue eyes. "Please."

"I wish I could," he whispered, resting his forehead against hers, his eyes now closed as if in pain. "I just don't want to hurt you."

She bit back the response that was at the tip of her tongue. There wasn't any need for him to know that that wasn't possible. That in the end, she would be the one hurting him and Draco paying the price.

"Ron, I'm not asking for tomorrow or next year. I'm just asking you for tonight."

"And in the morning?"

"We'll talk," she smiled wrapping her arms around his neck, pressing her body against his. "We don't even have to figure everything out...Promise?"

"Promise," Ron replied a smile returning to his face, his hand running down the curve of her face as he studied her. "You sure about me staying tonight. I not only will hog the bed. I snore."

Pansy threw her head back with a laugh, "I'll think I'll live. I've already become accustomed to sharing a couch with you and this bed has much more room."

She giggled at the stupid grin he had plastered to his face. Pulling back from him as she sat back on the bed, she asked, "Are you coming to bed or what?"

"You first," he laughed gently pushing her back on to her back and crawling in beside her.

Giggling she watched him lay next to her, propping his head up on his arm. Her hand exploring his face, shoulders, and arms, "See that wasn't so hard."

"No," he told her, reaching out to run his hand along her jawline, " I guess it wasn't."

She gently pressed her lips to his, and whispered, "Good night."

"Come here," he groaned, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling him to her. She moaned in response as she felt him press against her as he kissed her again.

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_A/N: I had such a positive response to my offer to put up the companion piece that I had written for chapter 7 regarding Ron & Hermione's break up that I am posting it to this site. You will see two parts to the story: first their actual break-up, second Hermione's reaction to it afterwards (which occurs on the same evening of Ron & Pansy making up). I hope everyone enjoys it. I also have a companion piece I wrote for this chapter to flush out a particular scene. The companion piece will probably answer some of your questions, or maybe not :) Unfortunately, as I doubt I will be able to post Chapter 9 before Friday, I will post the companion piece by Wednesday -- for all of you who want to see something from Draco's point of view._

_To answer some common questions/comments I keep seeing: 1) Yes in Pansy's mind she has two mothers. Her mum who died when she was younger and her mother the woman who raised her. 2) I know I have had several requests to see other characters POV. Unfortunately, this is ultimately Pansy's story and will remain primarily from her POV. Any companion pieces I write to flush out her story, I will make every attempt to post for your enjoyment, a few days after the corresponding chapter is posted.  
_

_Thanks to all the wonderful, thoughtful reviews I received after the last chapter: **Campanula1979**, **Whizbang**, **Fandemonium**, **ClumsyTonks** (you've seen my drafts -- I swear, j/k), **Arellowyn**, **Jade Star** (you've been giving my drafts to ClumsyTonks haven't you, j/k), **David Fishwick** and **Wonderfall**. Special Kudos to **xselenexchoiseulx** for the ego-boosting PM and to have the brilliant mind to figure out where I might have found the title of my little story. Please keep the reviews coming, as I know there are items in this chapter that won't make sense -- yet. I will try to answer questions as best as I can without giving away the story in my replies. If you haven't submitted a review, please take a moment to do so. They are always appreciated even if it's nothing more than an ego-boosting 'i love your story'.  
_


	11. Chapter 9 Birthday Presents

**Disclaimer: Not the characters. Not the universe. Only the idea**.

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"The game was awesome!"

Pansy looked up from the book she was reading on her bed to see Ron come into her room via the floo network. A large smile was stretched across his face and his blue eyes twinkled. Pansy wondered if that was how he looked on Christmas morning. She hoped she was around to see that for herself.

"So asking if you and Harry had fun is a silly question?" Pansy teased, marking her page in the book, as she watched him remove his jumper and boots by the couch.

"Completely. Especially since the Cannons won. Their new owner has done wonders for the team. Who would've thought that adding someone past prime like McCullen be what that team needed. You have got to introduce me to the owner sometime. I want to shake his hand," he told her while making a move on the chess board, not noticing the stupid grin that was plastered on Pansy's face.

Her grin firmly on her face as she watched him stand up and move towards the bed, "I don't understand why you insist on using muggle chess pieces. They aren't as much fun."

"Stop being a boy. If you win, you can re-set the board with wizard chess pieces," she laughed as he crawled onto the bed with her, stealing a quick kiss, before plopping down on his side facing her. "You do realize that if you do though our pieces will probably get mad and start playing the game themselves the way we've been playing."

"So what you are telling me is that we need to sit down and play a real chess game."

"What else would I be saying?" she teased.

"Oh I don't know, that you are too scared to take me on?" he teased, winking at her. His eyes full of mischievousness.

"And here I was thinking that YOU were too scared to take me on," she grinned tossing the book onto her night stand before leaning down to kiss him.

"You forget that one of us won house points for their chess skills."

"Like when you were what, twelve?"

"Ah, she wounds me," he fawned melodramatically falling onto his back. "You know you are suppose to be nice to me, it is my birthday."

"And if I told you to go get your chess set, will I be forgiven?"

"Really," he said popping up on his arm to look at her. "You really will play chess with me. Outside of what we do with that over there?"

"Of course. If I hadn't been so distracted with work, I would have challenged you weeks ago. I haven't had any competition since I moved out of my parents' house. And in case you haven't figured it out yet, the Slytherin boys are easy money."

"And you're not doing this because it's my birthday?"

"Not at all. I really just want to hang out with you and play chess, since Harry got you this evening," she grinned pushing him off the bed. "Just go and get your chess set. I'm going to go get the real rest of your birthday"

"There's more?" Pansy cocked her head to look at him having heard the incredulousness in his voice. It made her wonder what had people done for his birthday in the past, if a pair of quidditch tickets and the promise of something more could get this kind of reaction out of him. Hell, Draco cost her hundreds of galleons every time his birthday passed and he was just her best mate.

"Of course there is more. Why wouldn't there be?" Pansy asked. "It's your birthday and everyone deserves the next two things."

"But you already gave me tickets to the owner's box for the Cannons game."

"I know. I promise it's not much more," she told him, placing a kiss on his cheek. "Let me go grab the rest of your birthday while you set up our game."

"Where is your set?"

"On the mantle. The box becomes a board. Now go," she giggled pushing at him to get a move on.

"Got it," he cheerfully replied, kissing her hard before jumping off the bed.

Pansy watched Ron run out of the room like a young boy. She laughed out loud as she followed him out of the room and down the stairs to get the rest of his birthday. She could hear him looking for his chess set as she passed his room. Pansy continued to laugh at the thought of it being his room. He hadn't really stayed there in several days. She was amazed that his cloths had basically stayed down there though she had made room for him in dressing room. Well she hadn't told him that yet. Maybe she needed to.

She was still laughing at the thought of him digging for his chess set when she met Draco on the final flight of stairs.

"You sure smile an awful lot these days," he grinned, playfully bumping into her.

"I haven't heard you complaining."

"Just an observation of the nice change in your angry countenance," Draco said with a short laugh. "Don't get me wrong, I like this attitude better than your old one."

"It's never just an observation with you Draco. But be nice and keep them to yourself."

"Speaking of why you would ask me that, you really should go have lunch with your father on Sunday. Maybe show him a glimpse of this new attitude. He is becoming a bit insistent that I make you come over for lunch, like I could ever make you do anything you don't want to," he told her. "It's also getting a bit harder to dissuade him from just showing up over here."

"He's become that determined?" she asked puzzled.

"You have no idea. I've been skirting his questions and presence probably more than I should at the moment. But I think he's ready to start interrogating Theo if that says anything. Theo says he's been asking him sly questions about you. So you might want to splurge on that new toy he's been wanting, to buy his blind assistence."

"You are kidding me," Pansy replied her eyes already wide from the shock of hearing what her father had been doing.

"Sadly, I'm not," Draco sighed. "Why do you think you haven't seen any of the guys? It's not because you've been spending so much time with the Weasel in your bedroom."

"I hadn't noticed."

"Of course you hadn't noticed. But you've been so happy, I've not brought it to your attention, " Draco told her with a smile. With a shake of his head, he continued somberly, "Regardless your father did make several valid attempts to follow me home after the Cannons game tonight – I think someone slipped him the bit of information about the Weasel and Scarhead using your box tonight. It took all my skills to keep him out of there. Just so we are on the same page, I gave those tickets to Scarhead without your knowledge because you weren't using them since you were under the weather and sleeping, if he should inquire."

"Thank you," she whispered, kissing him on the cheek. "I really appreciate it."

"You do however owe me."

"Don't I always?" she laughed continuing down the stairs.

She heard him call out, "I would like a bottle of something decent for my trouble this time."

"Is that it? Only a bottle?"

"I think a bottle of Wilkinson's would be just about right."

"And no new play toy for you too? Since I'm obviously buying one for Theo."

"Are you kidding? Then you will know what I'll have under the bonnet. I might love you, I just don't trust you. I'm tired of getting my arse kicked by you."

Pansy chuckled, "If that's all, I will bring something home for you tomorrow."

"What if I change my mind and tell you I need something more?"

"I'll still bring you home a bottle of something decent," she yelled back up the stairs.

Reaching the kitchen, she grabbed the chocolate cake and champagne out of the icebox as well as forks and glasses. Pansy realized that she couldn't carry plates too but she figured Ron wouldn't mind eating straight from the cake. It almost suited the two of them by throwing out any semblance of the propriety her parents had ground into her. Maybe that's why she liked spending time with him, he expected nothing from her or of her. He seemed to simply want her. And her to be nothing more than herself. A sad thought in itself because it was refreshing. Though it brought a smile to her mouth and a giggle from a throat.

In fact, she giggled like a silly school girl all the way back upstairs.

When Pansy got back to her room, she laughed out loud at the sight that greeted her. Her ebony and ivory muggle chess set had been relocated to the table behind the far sofa from it's typical resting spot on the coffee table. In it's place was a another chess board with both of their wizarding chess pieces set up, starting to bad mouth each other with their taunting.

She wished she had challenged him to chess earlier, noting that his set looked like it was on its last leg. Pansy made a mental note to purchase him a new set the next time a gift-giving occasion arrived.

_Or maybe_, she thought, _she would just leave a new set lying around with hers to see what happened._

But the best part of the scene was Ron stretched along the couch, his hands behind his head. Looking as smug as a cat who got the cream. He looked so relaxed and happy which Pansy realized made her even happier. She had never known that someone could make her this happy.

"Ready to get your arse kicked Parkinson?" he drawled with a smirk on his face. She laughed because that smirk would have been major competition to Draco's.

"I'd like to see you try Weasley," she replied sticking out her tongue. "I'm not some foolish school boy when it comes to chess."

"I haven't lost since...well I can't remember."

"Is that the case?" she teased, "You do realize you can also be nice or you won't get the rest of your birthday."

"You mean you weren't kidding about there more?"

"No Weasley, of course not. That's why I just climbed down three sets of stairs to retrieve champagne and a curious white box. Now move it. I want to sit down," she laughed, nudging at his legs. Handing him the bottle as he sat up, "Make yourself useful and open this."

"Hey, I thought it was my birthday," he teased taking the bottle and glasses.

"It is," she giggled sitting down, "Doesn't mean you can't be helpful."

She heard the pop of the champagne bottle, as she opened the lid of the box, so he couldn't see what was inside. Grabbing his wand from the coffee table, she lit the candle and pulled a small chocolate cake out of the box. While he pour two glasses of champagne.

"Happy Birthday," she said. "Make a wish."

He blew out the candle. Handing her a glass of champagne, he leaned in and whispered, "Thank you," before stealing a kiss that softly lingered a moment. Her favorite type of kiss from him. The one that was so soft and tender but said much more behind the gesture.

"You're welcome," she softly smiled back, clinking her glass with his. "I hope you don't mind eating straight from the cake. I couldn't balance plates with everything else."

"You know you do have a wand," he said taking a bite of the cake.

"Yeah," she groaned. "Except it doesn't do you a lot of good if you leave it in your bedroom while you are in a kitchen three flights down."

"Good point," he teased stabbing at the cake again. After eating the bite he had stole, he took the cake out of her hands and putting it on the table, "Come here. I haven't see you all day."

She curled up next to him between him and the back of the couch. Settling in, "Better?"

"Of course – I have champagne, a great chocolate cake and a wonderful girl. What more can a guy want," he replied. "So how was you evening?"

"Boring without you to distract me from my project. I'm finding myself going in circles and still titling at windmills. You know when I started this project, I didn't expect I'd actually get anywhere but now I just feel like I'm missing something important the more I re-read and re-test every theory I've come up with or anyone else has for that matter."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said. "Do you have a deadline approaching?"

"Thankfully no," she said. "This project has been lingering for such a long time that no one would set a deadline."

"Then why are you working on it?"

"Somebody," she slightly growled, "appealed, quite rightly, to my need for a challenge. So here I am almost 3 months later and I'm no further than I was at the first of the year."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her forehead causing her to moan.

"You know," she said with a soft smile, starting to draw idle patterns on his chest, "I hadn't realized until tonight how much I appreciate and enjoy the distraction you provide. I think I would've driven myself mad much sooner if I didn't have you."

"Really?"

The sound of surprise in his voice, caused Pansy to look up at him, "Of course. Why wouldn't I appreciate it? You do realize that not only do you keep me grounded in my reality, you've given me something that I hadn't realized was missing, a separate peace."

"Hermione always said I was a nuisance. Always..." he started but she shushed him placing her fingers on his lips. She didn't want him morose on his birthday.

Smiling softly, "I'm not her."

"I'm sor..."

"Leave it,"she whispered, pulling his face towards hers. "We can talk about it tomorrow but right now it's your birthday. We should be celebrating. Not going back down traveled paths that are sad and troubled."

Leaning in, she pressed her lips against his. Slipping her hand behind his head, she held him in place until she felt him relax and start to move his lips against hers. Her head started to spin, as his kiss became more insistent, more hungry. She opened her mouth to him, so he could taste her; so she could taste him. Taste the flavor of champagne and chocolate cake.

She slowly shifted her body to rest upon his. Her knees on either side of his hips. His hands exploring her legs and her sides causing her to shiver with the ghost of his touch.

"Yes, Ron," she moaned softly in reaction to the way he was making her body feel. To the way he was making her feel.

Breaking away from his lips, she started to explore other parts of him with her lips. His face. His jaw. His ear. His neck. Kissing every inch of exposed skin. All the while feeling his hands graze over every inch of exposed skin on her arms before slipping underneath her shirt. She moaned his name in encouragement again, hoping he would go further tonight. Pansy had grown tired of waiting to feel every inch of him in close contact with her.

Suddenly, she felt his hands freeze.

Opening her eyes, out of the confusion she felt, she whispered, "What?"

He didn't say anything. He just looked at her. Searching her eyes for something that Pansy couldn't figure out. Ron did it every time they stopped but she had yet to figure out what he was looking for and she hadn't been able to get it out of him. Instead she had settled with being content with little physical affection she could coax out of him before he would pull away.

But she found herself tired of waiting. She needed to know what was holding him back from being with her in every possible way.

"Ron," she whispered. Her hand brushing against his face. Pushing his red hair away from his face. Gently running her right hand down his jaw. "Tell me. Please."

"It's nothing," he whispered. His hands starting to move again as he moved to recapture her lips with his.

"No it's not nothing or you wouldn't have stopped," she replied, resting her body on his. Her head situated on his shoulder. It may have been a bad time, but she needed answers – or at least questions, so she could provide the answers. "Talk to me please. I need to know what's bothering you...So I can be here for you."

"Are you.." he whispered painfully, trailing off before actually saying what was on his mind.

"Ron," she whispered insistently. "Please talk to me."

"Are you doing this because it's my birthday?" she barely heard him.

"What?" she told him in amazement while thinking of all things she figured he could ask her. It wasn't like they hadn't gone through this every night since the nightmare. "What would ever give you that opinion?"

"Never mind," Ron quickly said, reaching up to her face. "Forget I said anything."

"No." Pansy firmly said sitting up on Ron's lap. "Not until you tell me what is going on. Something has been holding you back since the beginning. Please talk to me. That's all I'm asking. "

She watched him struggle with what he wanted to say. Reaching out to touch him, she caressed his face, before whispering, "Please just talk me. I want to know what you are thinking. We are in this together. Remember that."

"Why me?" he whispered. "You...I..."

"Why not you?" she smiled, gently running her finger down his jawline. "You are everything a girl could want in a boy."

"But Hermione always said --"

"She is not here," she interrupted. "I am. And this is exactly where I want to be. I want to be anywhere you are."

"The tickets. The champagne. The cake. All of it," he whispered his hand moving to touch her face. "All of that just for my birthday?"

"Yes," Pansy emphatically replied, leaning back over to silence him with a kiss before he could drag their conversation further into a melancholy tone that wasn't need on a birthday. "All of it."

"But why?"

"Why not," she responded. "You know, Draco has started making off-handed comments about how happy I am since you came into my life and how he likes this new Pansy."

"What were you like before?"

"Constantly melancholy and angry at the world," Pansy sighed. "But then, while trying to hide at the Leaky Cauldron, I took a chance to sit with this annoying Gryffindor who somehow brought a little peace into my life. And with that little peace, came unexpectedly a little happiness."

"There are times, I do feel like I'm competing with Granger's ghost because she somehow made you doubt the man you are but I'm telling you right here, right now – you may not have been the man for her but you are the man for me."

She was regretting making him talk about what was bothering him. She should have guessed Granger was at the root of it all. Never in a million years, could Pansy fathom how Granger couldn't see the wonderful, one-of-a-kind man that Ron Weasley was. She should have just let him have his way early of avoiding the conversation. But she also didn't want him to avoid every hard conversation with her either.

"Because you were everything I wanted before you stumbled into my life. And you are everything that I want now. And tomorrow you will be everything I want in my future," she told him, her lips exploring his expose flesh again. Praying to Merlin, that they wouldn't stop tonight. If he stopped on her again, Pansy was going to track down Granger at the ministry tomorrow and hex her into oblivion for all the nonsense she had put into his head about relationships and sex. Granger just thought the littlest Weasley had a dangerous bat-boogey hex, Merlin knows Pansy learned from the best.

She finally felt his body relax under her ministrations, wrapping her hands around his neck, she pulled him closer to her. Pressing the rest of her body into him.

"You are everything I want too," he moaned as she nipped at his collarbone.

Looking back up at him, she smiled and replied, "Good. Now that that's settled, where were we?" before pressing her lips back against his.

Unlike every time they had kissed since their first kiss, there was no hesitation on his part. Pansy inwardly smiled at the thought that he finally realized that he belonged to her as much as she belonged to him. That he may not have been perfect for Granger but he was perfect for her – and that's what mattered. He was irrevocably a part of her life and she wasn't going to give him up anytime soon. It was a battle he was going to lose. Time and time again.

She felt Ron's lips start to trail soft kisses along her jaw and then he moved down her neck. Those kisses on her neck did something to her. A shiver ran down her body causing her to arch into his body in pleasure with a soft moan for more.

"Gods Ron," she moaned, untucking his shirt so she could touch his skin. Testing this new found boundary, she grazed her fingers along his sides and his the band of his jeans, finding the edge of his boxers. When he didn't fight her, she started to tug at the shirt, wanting it off.

Ron stopped what he was doing to cluck at her, "Impatient aren't we?"

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this," she sighed watching him remove his shirt ogling the way his body looked. There was a time when she was younger that she thought he was too freckled but now, it just looked good. Sexy, youthful, and good. More importantly, he was hers.

"How long, Miss Parkinson," he teased before his lips attached to her neck before they started to mark her neck as his.

"Long enough to stroke your ego just a little more," she grinned before trailing kisses down his neck and chest.

With each kiss she told him," Yesterday...Last week...First kiss...Valentine's...Every dinner...Every hug...Every kiss...Every look..."

"Pansy," he moaned, grabbing her head and silencing her with a deep and heated kiss.

"I have a better idea," he grinned, pushing her up as she struggled to catch her breath from that kiss.

"I don't," she teased, leaning back into him, capturing his lips again.

Feeling his lips move down her throat, he whispered, "I'll make it worth your while."

"Promise?" she gasped as he nipped at her neck. The sensations running down through every inch of her body.

"Promise."

She let him regretfully, untangle himself from her and step away from the couch. For a split second, she hoped he was going to challenge her to strip chess. However, he offered her his hand and pulled her up to stand on the couch, so she could look him directly in the eye, before he teased, "I believe someone has too much clothing on."

"I agree," she laughed and made a half-hearted attempt at his pants.

"Not so fast. I'm not done exploring you yet," he pushed her hands away, before grabbing at her tank top and pulling it off, "Now that's more like what I had in mind."

"Is that so, Mr. Weasley," she cooed pressing her body up against him, feeling him start to lay kisses down her throat. Down her shoulder. Across her chest.

Reaching behind her and unsnapping her bra, she moaned, "I thought this might be more what you had in mind," before tossing it aside.

"I'm not complaining," his voice had taken on a husky tone before capturing her lips again for yet another head spinning kiss.

"I'm not letting you go," she informed him. She'd actually kill Granger before letting her back into his life. He was hers now.

"Possessive aren't we?"

"Yes." Pushing her hips into his, she slowly curled one leg around his hips. "You're mine."

Pulling her face back from him she whispered, "Bed. Please. Now."

She watched as Ron looked at her face, seemingly searching for some clue that she wasn't teasing, and it was frankly annoying the piss out of Pansy. Especially since she thought they had gotten over this hesitation in their relationship.

"Ron," she fussed, "stop thinking and take me to bed."

She felt him withdraw a bit. Gripping him tighter, she quickly tried another tactic – she huskily whispered in his ear, "I'm telling you right now, I'm yours. Now make me yours. Make me your last birthday present."

_Turns out that was all he needed to hear_, Pansy thought to herself.

Feeling her back come in contact with her sheets while her body pressed into his before he carried her into an ecstatic oblivion that she had only dreamed off before.

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_A/N: By some miracle, I managed to get this chapter up two days early. I'm still not quite sure how I did it. A special thanks to **Wonderfall, Whizbang, ClumsyTonks, **and **Jade Star** for your continuing support. You four make all the times I edit a chapter worth while. A shout out to **Buff802y**, I'm glad I changed your mind about Ron/Pansy pairings. To everyone, please continue to let me know what you think, it is a great way for me to tell if I'm doing my job right or not. As well as stroke this writer's ego, which is always a good thing.  
_

_If you haven't noticed, the companion piece to chapter 8 is up. The title of the piece is "Letting Go". I will tell you that there are some large clues in it about events and people to come. Hint, Hint.  
_

_I'm hoping to get the next chapter up by Sunday. It is a longer chapter and as such I will be breaking it into two parts but posting them at the same time. As a teaser to all my faithful readers, you will finally get to meet Pansy's father and mother in the next chapter. As well as a glimpse of her mum. It should prove to be explosive :)  
_


	12. Chapter 10 Parents Only Think, Part I

**Disclaimer: Not the characters. Not the universe. Only the idea.**

* * *

Pansy stood in the vacant morning parlour at one in the afternoon, expecting to find her mother and father there waiting to pounce on her. Well she expected her father to pounce at least, after dancing around his prey before attacking – not relenting until Pansy gave up and gave him exactly what he wanted; though she wasn't sure anymore just what he wanted. Her mother, on the other hand, would be more subtle though about as subtle as an iron pipe – to the point, hard, fast, and especially painful. Pansy had always figured with parents like her's, she really didn't need enemies.

Looking around the beautifully decorated room without any signs of life, Pansy tried to figure out what was going on. Draco had relayed the message that she was expected at lunch on Sunday, whether she wanted to go or not. As her eyes fell on the piano situated in the corner of the morning parlour, it dawned on her that Draco had helped her father set her up. There had never been a lunch planned with her mother. This was all her father; her mother had good sense to maintain the illusion before attacking. Pansy was going to have to hex Draco's bits off for selling her out like this to her father. Especially after promising her he wouldn't. She should have known he had been too nice as of late.

Her father wanted to talk to her by herself, which was never good. Especially since he was still upset with her for the choices she had made regarding her life prior to Christmas. Regardless of the fact that they hadn't had a civilized conversation with each other since Christmas meant that today was not going to end well for one of them. Pansy wondered just how nasty they could get with each other without an audience or her mother to referee. It had been a long time before her mother had the courage to leave the two of them alone.

Dragging her feet, she moved across the house to her father's favorite room when he wanted to be on the offensive – his office. As she slowly walked into the hungry lion's den, she mentally prepared herself for the onslaught by thinking of ways to castrate Draco. That way, she would have motivation to survive her father being an arse on a Sunday afternoon.

Opening the large double doors that led into his office, she saw her father sitting behind his antique mahogany desk at the other end of the room. The fire that was roaring in the fireplace near the desk highlighted the short, greying sandy blonde colour that his hair and beard had started turning just after the last war. His short hair and clean beard paired with a navy silk button down made him look every bit of the powerful lord and master he portrayed himself in every facet of his life. There was no doubt who was in charge when he entered the room.

Pansy smiled inwardly thinking of how he wished she was just as scared of him as everyone else was. She always figured that one of these days, when he wasn't expecting it; she would remind him that she still remembers him being her favorite knight before her mum died. The one that gave her piggy-back rides and brought her sweets every time he came to visit. Remind him that she still remembered the man before their lives were irrevocably destroyed.

Pansy moved quietly and slowly towards the dark green wing back chairs stationed in front of the desk, so she could have a peaceful minute to look at her mum's portrait that still hung above the fireplace. Her mum looked so eloquent and regal, even though she was perched unladylike on a balustrade overlooking the gardens of Avalon from the cottage. It was so typical of the free-spirited woman that Pansy remembered. Her eyes were full of playful, mischievousness while tendrils escaped the up do that held her hair back.

Pansy always wondered who must have been standing behind the artist as he captured her. She remembered fleeting moments from her childhood when her mother looked truly happy instead of the melancholy that more commonly dominated her every glance and look, especially when her mum looked at her. Though she had tried for years, she had never been able to figure out just who was in the room when her mum was truly happy.

In the end it didn't really matter. She just wished she had had a chance to know her. Really know her. Even just a little bit but unfortunately her mum hated wizarding portraits with a passion and there were only muggle portraits of her.

Pansy, for a spilt second, regretted the ongoing battle with her father. Because after the nightmare she had two weeks ago, she hadn't made it over to the house in order to look at the portrait; to help remember that colour her eyes once had been – green, a bright green, a Slytherin green. The green of the Avalon that had once been her favourite colour. And not the bluish-purplish colour they had become. She knew that she needed to find the courage to hang one of her mum's portraits in her own flat but even with Ron in her life; she still doubted that would be anytime soon.

"Hello Daddy," Pansy said as she sat in the leather wingback chair in front of his desk. It was the farthest away from the door, but gave her a clear view of the door in case she needed to make a quick, clean escape, in spite of the increased distance. "I was under the impression we were to have lunch today. At least that was what Draco led me to believe. So where is Mother?"

"Shopping for the twins as their birthday is coming up. She was going to see if you wanted to go but I talked her out of it since if I remember correctly, you have a particularly strong disinterest in shopping," he explained not looking up from the paperwork he was studying. "But who knows that could have changed since the last time you took the time to grace us with your presence."

"Don't be ugly, Daddy."

"Kettle meet cauldron."

Pansy shook her head as she looked at her father still buried in his paperwork. "So did you want to talk to me by yourself or do I simply owe you one for saving me from being dragged all over London today by Mother?"

"A new bottle of Sheridan's Finest will be just fine," he replied setting the paperwork on his desk, his ghostly light blue eyes appraising her. "I actually would prefer the same caliber of the one you took a month ago."

She couldn't help the smirk that formed on her face, though the request had made his intentions perfectly clear to someone who had been negotiating with him for years. Her father was an expert in distracting his victim until he was ready to strike, "I'll send over a replacement bottle tomorrow afternoon. Is that acceptable?"

"That would be fine," he said, leaning back in his chair. His eyes hesitating on a picture in a silver frame on his desk. She never would understand, even if she lived a million years, why the one picture on his desk was that one. Pansy had asked him several times as to why and he always told her to remember and wouldn't go any further to her frustration. "In the future, I would prefer you act like an adult when it comes to accessing my private stores. Do you hear me?"

"Yes, sir. I won't do it again, "Pansy knew her father was bluffing, but she did her best to look somewhat ashamed for taking that bottle of fire-whiskey.

"You do realize that all I'm asking you to do is have the good decency to ask for a bottle if you need it. Or if simply want it. Heaven forbid you should forget that I have yet to deny you anything you have ever wanted. So do us both a favor and stop acting like an insolent teenager."

"Old habits die hard Daddy."

"Act like an adult and I might just treat you like one."

"Yes sir," Pansy sighed sitting back in the chair, realizing he had won that argument. Studying her father as he sat patiently in his chair looking at her, "So what did you really want to talk to me about?"

"Can't I just want to talk to you?" he asked. "You know that funny little thing we use to do before you started pulling away?"

"It's kind of easy to pull away when you started doing the pushing."

"Lizzie," he growled

"Philip," she growled in return. Matching his glare.

"Kettle meet caldron."

"Likewise."

"Fine," he said in a clipped tone. "You won't be an adult, then I will. I noticed you let someone use one of your boxes on two separate occasions."

"What do you care?" she asked shrugging her shoulders while trying to maintain a collected and indifferent appearance. "Draco has free reign over my boxes, you know that."

"I know that," he started. "The reason I'm bringing it up is that Draco wasn't the one using your box either time."

"I do know other people not named Draco."

"And they weren't used by Theo, Blaise or Greg."

"And I do know other people not named Theo, Blaise or Greg, Daddy," she grounded out, fighting back her frustration though she couldn't stop her eyes narrowing in his direction.

"That's good to know. As far as your mother and I were concerned those four were the only people you willingly associated with when we don't force your hand about adhering to your social engagements and responsibilities."

"Is it a problem that I let someone use my boxes on two separate games, not one of the aforementioned four? I do know that I allowed Draco to let someone use on of my boxes recently." Pansy sighed, in an attempt to detour the conversation. "Anyway, I thought we agreed that I am allowed to use my boxes as I want except when you are in need of them for business purposes. Or do we need to amend the agreement accordingly? That if I don't use my boxes only Draco, Theo, Blaise, and Greg can do so, if you are not in need of them."

"Stop being petulant Lizzie. I didn't believe Draco for one second about the box for the Cannons game so I'm merely curious as to whom you give the tickets to, if you didn't give them to one of those four?"

Shaking her head realizing her detour plan didn't work, Pansy let out a snort in amazement, "Fine Daddy. If you don't want me to bullshite you then at least extend me the same courtesy because you know damn well who I gave them to. Please just make your point? I'm rather tired of this line of inquiry because I have no clue as to where you are going with it."

"Just when exactly did you become acquainted with Arthur's two youngest boys?" her father asked firmly, leaning forward.

"Hogwarts," Pansy struggled to maintain her unaffected look. She figured if her father wanted to play, then she would play back. "You know the youngest one was in my class. The other was quite hard to miss given him and his twin's penchant to cause mischief and mayhem."

"You've never mentioned them before."

"Chalk it up to school prejudices."

"Well you seem to get along now. With you giving them your box and all."

"Does it matter?"

"Does it matter?" her father asked incurious. "You know bloody well it matters."

"Of course I do. Because it will be a bloody cold day in hell before you let me fucking forget," she snapped, hissing back. "Here's the problem, it only matters because you and the others say it matters. But guess what – I don't think it does. Not anymore."

"Why don't you stop playing games and be forthcoming? I'd for one like to know what is going on with you. Why you let the Weasley boys use your box? Why are you always saying you are at work or busy with work? You honestly cannot be spending that much time at the ministry. Kingsley would say something to me if you were."

"Please, Daddy. This coming from the man who taught me and Draco all we know about playing games," Pansy shook her head. "But to answer your two questions. I gave the Weasley boys the tickets because I wanted to. Nothing diabolical there so stop reading anything into it. And second, I really do have that much work due to an outcrop of wizards who have been practicing dark magic as well as questionable and dark potion making. Sadly, I'm the only one at the ministry able to make hide-or-hair of most of the potions they have been finding in raids. Feel free to check with Kingsley and Harry regarding that one, they will confirm it. Happy now Daddy?"

"It's nice to see that you actually paid attention to something I said but nice try. You are leaving something out," her father smirked. "Something else has changed. Its one thing for you to pull away from your mother and I especially after the holidays we had but it is an entirely different thing for Draco to pull away. I think Draco knows why you've maintained your distance from us and is keeping his own distance because of it. I know given time, I could get it out of him. However, I would rather hear it from you, so would you please tell me what is going on?"

"Again nothing," she replied coolly. "Nothing is going on. Haven't you thought for a moment that the two of us might need a break from everything? A chance to be children and act accordingly. It's not like we don't deserve it after all we've been through together."

"If you think that anyone, especially myself, will let the two of you act like children for a minute, you are sadly mistaken Lizzie. You may not like your stars but remember you, and you alone, condemned Draco to his."

"I have never said I didn't condemn him to his lot but the rest of you shouldn't expect him to take every snide remark you cast his way with a grain of salt. He is told again and again and again what he can and cannot do. And what he can and cannot allow me to do. We know the rules. Draco knows his job. His responsibilities. Do us both a favor and leave us alone for the time being. And if that's too much to ask, then direct your unfounded anger to me and leave him alone."

"Then prove it. Prove to me that nothing is going on. That you and him aren't hiding something from the rest of us. Something important to your existence. All of our existences," her father growled. "Start taking your responsibilities seriously and show up where you are suppose to be. When you are suppose to be there. And do what you are supposed to do!"

"No."

"Yes."

"I'm busy."

"It never stopped you before."

"I don't care anymore."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't."

"You realize you have a life."

"Oh at least one of us thinks so."

"But It is your life, whether you like it or not."

Pansy snapped back with a hollow laugh, "Could have surprised me. With all the interference that is."

"Stop acting like a petulant child," her father firmly said. "None of us wanted this for you but you are stuck with it. Grow up. Do what you've been told."

"I'm tired of fighting you about all of this," Pansy hissed out of hurt. She didn't understand how he could demand her to live her life when it was clear that he wouldn't let her. "Just do us both a favor. Either arrange a marriage or let the line die. I don't care anymore what you do. I'm done with all these bloody charades you have forced me to play all these years. Just stop acting like you aren't interfering in what little existence I can call my own and just do it."

"I cannot believe you would say that to me," her father snapped. "What would your mum say if she heard you? She sacrificed everything for you to even have this. At least you could stay within the boundaries you have and fulfill your responsibilities. This is bigger than all of us. You best not forget that."

She snorted out of annoyance and started to tap her foot, "Despite popular opinion, I've come to terms with my lot in life. I've come to terms with what I will NEVER have. So please take a lesson from mother and only pull the daddy card with Daisy and Dahlia, Philip."

"Don't you dare say that to me, Lizzie," he growled slamming his hand on the desk rising out of his chair. "And stop tapping your foot at me!"

"Then stop trying to guilt me into doing whatever you want me to do by bringing mum up." Pansy coolly said trying to look unaffected; amazed she could even begin to fake it with all the hurt she felt inside at that very moment. "We both know bloody well what she wanted for me, and thanks to Lucius Malfoy that won't happen. No matter what anyone does. What rules or boundaries I do or do not follow. And given what happened to my mum, maybe it's for the best that I'm stuck in – what Draco calls – my prison of iron and glass. Have you ever thought of that?"

"Lizzie," her father pleaded. Pansy jumped at the sound of her father's voice. He only did it when he was at his breaking point with her. She knew the tone well; she usually could drag it out of him once every few years.

Standing up, she mockingly replied before he could go any further, "I know, I know, I know."

"Why don't you at least try?" Pansy rolled her eyes at the sound of his voice, any of that sad, defeated tone he would direct to her was gone; replaced with his normal cold drawl.

"I do try. The lot of you only sees what you want to see. This means that most of the time, you only see what you think I've done wrong. Every single one of you is guilty of not seeing me since Draco and I grew bloody backbones."

"There's growing a backbone and doing what's right."

"There's also this concept of letting go," she snapped back at her father. "Let me go. Let all the plans go. End it. Instead of acting like my father, why don't you just try being him and end it. Let me have a bit of happiness, this little bit of happiness I've found playing with my potions set, and end this whole sodding charade. Listen to me when I tell you I'm tired. I'm so tired of it all."

"How can you ask me to end it?"

"You all have wasted how many years wishing and hoping for what? For what happened all those years ago to miraculously disappear; to never have happen?" Pansy sighed.

"But there is still hope..."

"Not bloody likely thanks to Lucius."

"But what if that's what the ..."

Tired, Pansy just cut him off, "Haven't you all realized that wishing isn't going to change anything. Neither is hoping. All either does is leave a bad taste in my mouth. No matter what you may order me to do."

When her father didn't say anything, she started to walk to the door, "Lizzie," she heard him call out. "Why don't you care about living?"

Turning around, she looked at him, showing him for the first time that day how hurt she really was, "Daddy, like I've told you and the others time and time again, please don't sell me short. If I cared so little about living, I would never have kept the promise I made to Draco. I just want you to let me be as happy as I can be in what little existence I do have. That is all I'm asking now and that is all I've ever asked you. Let me live my life and find my own happiness."

Taking a deep breathe, she still sighed as she pleaded, "Let me go. Please live your lives and just let me go."

She slowly turned around and walked out of her father's study not bothering to listen to what he was saying as she left him. She was done trying to talk to him today. Another argument and another end without a conclusion. Just another time where one of them ended the conversation on a low blow.

Once in the hallway, she saw her mother enter the house from the front door, arms loaded with packages. She decided it was safer to lurk in the shadows until her mother went up the stairs. She didn't feel capable enough to fight both of her parents today.

Pansy watched her as she set down the bags, and removed her cloak, revealing her thick golden blonde curls that hung to her waist. Her mother had picked up her bags and had moved gracefully into the foyer and was about to head up the grand staircase, before she saw Pansy lurking in the shadows outside of her father's study.

"Did you have a good conversation?" her mother asked, coming to a stop at the bottom of the stairs a few feet away from Pansy. Pansy could feel her bright brown eyes look her over.


	13. Chapter 10 Parents Only Think, Part II

**Disclaimer: Not the characters. Not the universe. Only the idea.**

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If there was anybody in her family she sold short on a regular basis it was her mother. She knew deep down that her mother's insistent and persistence matchmaking attempts were just a show. A show to keep her father and anyone else out of that arena of her life. A sick, twisted game of protection but Pansy would be kidding herself if she didn't believe that it helped in some little way, some of the time. She just never wanted to play her mother's game. If anyone had her best interests in mind, outside of Draco, it was her mother. The one living person who had been involved her life day in and day out since she could remember.

"Well, you will be happy to know that we didn't say anything worse to each other than what we did at the New Years' Ball."

"Why do I think you are leaving something out?"

Pansy rolled her eyes. One of these days her mother was going to have to explain to her how she always caught her in a lie. No one did it better, faster.

"Okay, he didn't say anything worse to me than what he did at New Years."

"And what did you say to him?"

Hanging her head down, ashamed of what she was about to admit to, "I asked him to let me go."

"How could you say that to him after everything he's been through for you? To protect you and keep you safe and alive," her mother sighed.

"I know, Mother. I shouldn't have said that. I promise to apologize after we both cool off. Please don't ask me to do it at this moment."

"I'm not happy with what you said to him. However, it is nice to hear you at least making a valid attempt to be mature about it. You have a week to act upon it before I involve myself in this latest squabble between you two... It would be nice to see you at lunch again on Sundays."

"I'm sorry about that," Pansy half-heartedly apologized but hearing the obvious hint in her mother's voice. "Work has been crazy and I figured daddy and I needed a break."

"He really loves you. Even if you forget that you've been the apple of his eye since you were born."

"Doesn't feel like it anymore."

"Oh Lizzie, stop being petulant," her mother sighed. Her mother fell quiet and just looked at her. Pansy started to fidget after a few minutes knowing that when her mother took this much time, she was considering her words and was at her most dangerous.

"When he joined us in France, all he would do is shut himself in his office, bury himself in his work, and drink himself to sleep looking at that picture that still sits on his desk. It took a lot of time, and me removing the bottle from his hand more than once, but he slowly came back. But he came back to you for you – not me. No matter what anyone tells you. I am not now nor have I ever been number one in his life. You are. You've always been."

"I wish it wasn't that way though. I don't want to be number one in his life. You should be or Daisy and Dahlia," Pansy said, wondering where her mother was going with this. Of all people who knew Pansy's lot in life, her mother had always been the one to not play games behind close doors when it was just the two of them, much like Draco. However, this was starting to feel like a game to her. "Why are you telling me this now after all these years?"

"I'm telling you this, Lizzie, for one reason and one reason alone – I want my husband back. He hasn't been the same since New Years. He is constantly angry and despondent," her mother said in a tone that let Pansy know that she wouldn't be denied. "And it would be nice to have a meal together without two of my favorite people in this world focused on hurting the other as much as possible. You best remember that your father isn't the only one you hurt with your biting comments towards him. You may not like what we do and have done to protect you and remind you that you are still with the living but all either one of us have ever wanted is for you to be happy."

Pansy didn't know what to say so she stood there with her mouth closed. She watched as her mother's demeanor suddenly changed. Her mother's eyes focused on her face, looking at it. Studying it. Pansy became more than slightly unnerved by her mother's examination. She was suddenly very afraid that her mother knew her secret. It took all her strength not to start fidgeting under the examination.

"Lately I'm afraid that he doesn't remember the little girl you were. The happy little girl that always brought a smile to everyone in the room when she entered with her bright shining eyes. But I do remember her," her mother softly said, moving closer to her. "And I see glimpses of her now in your eyes. Whatever has happened to bring that glimmer back, whatever or whoever has come into your life -- go for it. Tell your father about it. Show him what I see now. Show him, what I believe Draco is hiding from him too. Remind him of the little girl who use to run to him giggling every time she would see him. Remind him of his little Lizzie. His favorite girl. And why he made the choices he did. Show him that in spite of Lucius Malfoy, you are – miraculously - still here with us."

It was clear that her mother expected her to say something to her right then and there or go right back in the study and really talk to her father. Not just talk at him. There was no way she was going back in the study at the moment. She was not big enough at the moment to apologize. Let alone admit to what was really going on in her life. Especially given that he was as right in his accusations as Pansy was. And her mother more so.

Regardless, what hurt the most at this very moment was that realization that she couldn't remember the last time he actually saw her. Her mother could see her, why couldn't he? But then again, she wasn't exactly being fair to him; realizing that she, herself, couldn't remember the last time she actually saw him. And not simply accuse him of being a monster she had made him out to be, time and time again.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath before replying, "I'll come to lunch on Sunday."

"I would appreciate that and I know your father would enjoy having you around again. I'm afraid that I still can't keep up with his conversations regarding quidditch and football...Should we expect your bodyguard too?"

"No. I'll come alone."

"Better," her mother stated moving back towards the staircase. "Frankly, besides having grown weary of the two dueling knights at my lunch table, I'm tired of you hiding behind Draco. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that you two are so dependent on each other and I certainly can not expect anything less from the two of you given the lack of an appropriate childhood. But I would prefer to see you stand on your own two feet more often. Perhaps show me a bit of that temper and audacity your mum, herself, was so proud of that if I remember correctly lies in you. I'll expect you at 1pm next Sunday. I'll send a car around for you."

"Yes ma'am," Pansy replied watching her mother go up the stairs.

Pansy closed her eyes and apparated out of her parents' foyer and into the comforts of her own bedroom. Collapsing on the couch, she summoned herself a glass and a bottle of fire-whiskey while kicking off her shoes. Pouring herself a drink, she curled up and settled into the sofa, starring at her ebony and ivory muggle chess set.

Grabbing the ebony knight from the board, she just starred at the piece, playing it with her fingers. Thinking about everything that had said today between her and her father but especially what her mother had said to her. That her mother could see a glimmer of the little girl she remembered – the girl who had had a mum that would sing her to sleep at night before tucking her in and whispering a bedtime blessing.

Pansy had no idea how long she had been sitting there, so lost in her thoughts of what her mother had said while fiddling with the knight. She certainly had no idea how long Ron had been there standing there in front of her.

It wasn't until he said anything that she was alerted to his presence.

"Is everything okay? You seem really distracted."

"Fine," she forced a small smile, putting Ron's knight back on the board. "Like you said, I'm just distracted."

"Is there a glass for me?" he asked, joining her on the couch.

Summoning another glass, she poured him a drink, "There is now." Handing it to him.

"So was lunch with your family as fun as mine?" he asked, taking a sip before setting the glass down to bend over and take off his boots.

"Unfortunately, mine turned out to be more of an ambush by my father then lunch with my parents. You?"

"Ambushed by a few more people that you. I'm lucky I survived."

"Well, I agreed to go to lunch next Sunday with my parents," she said, adjusting her body so that she was between his body and the back of the sofa. It let her still sip on her drink while still being held by him. She needed to feel him at the moment more than anything else. With him holding her, she knew everything would be all right. Or at least the promise of everything being all right was enough at the moment.

"Saturday for me. The whole bloody family will be there. So fully expect me to come home in pieces. If at all."

"Same here but for Sunday. The conversation today with my father went really bad. We kept slinging mud at each other until I ended it with a low blow. Then my mother ended me with one of her own."

"Sounds like my mother except she got in all the low blows," he whispered, squeezing Pansy tight against his body before placing a kiss on her forehead. "I'm glad to have someone to commiserate with. Everyone else I know likes to tell me I'm in the wrong about ending it with Hermione."

"I know what it's like to have no one on your side," she whispered back. After a few quite moments, she continued, "Remind me to send a bottle of Sheridan's over to my father tomorrow."

"Why?"

"My father called me out about taking the Sheridan's bottle last month. I promised I would send one over tomorrow. Oh and I should get one for Draco as a thank you.

"Why?"

"I'm realizing Draco has been shielding me from him more than I thought the past few months."

"Does Draco see him a lot?"

"Everyday," Pansy said, reaching over Ron's body to put her glass on the table. "Draco has the misfortune to work for him."

"How does he do that?"

"I don't know honestly. I can barely have a civil conversation with my father anymore."

"Was your father that hard on you today?" Ron gently asked setting his own glass on the table, to wrap her completely up in his arms.

"He certainly put forth the effort. Unfortunately, I probably hurt him more than he hurt me today. My mother on the other, well that was an entirely different manner. Her comments stung enough for me to agree to come to lunch next Sunday without my bodyguard."

"Bodyguard?"

Pansy mentally cursed herself a new one because of her slip up. She carefully replied, "That's her nickname for Draco."

"Wow," Ron whistled. "No offence, it is kind of hard to see Draco as that kind of guy."

"Don't worry your view of him is perfectly safe. He's not unless I'm involved. He's often the big brother I never wanted."

Ron let out a laugh, causing Pansy to smile herself. She really had begun to appreciate the limited amount of time she had with Ron because he just always made her feel better. No matter how bad her day had gone. Maybe this is what her mother was talking about.

"Enough about me," she asked, "What happened with your family today?"

"Got ambushed by Ginny and Mum the minute I walked in the door. Poor George and Angelina tried to save me, but were unsuccessful. Everyone else kept going on what a fool I was about leaving Hermione. That she was the best I was ever going to have. Et cetera. I started to zone out Ginny's ravings after she started to threaten my bits so most of the afternoon is a bit fuzzy."

"She better not threaten your bits," Pansy perked up, lifting her head so he could see the wicked grin she knew was stretched across her face. "After the day I've had, I have plans for your bits."

"Oh you do," he teased, setting his glass on the table, "And what did you have in mind Parkinson?"

"Something that starts like this," she purred crawling on top of him, straddling his hips before kissing him whole-heartedly on his lips.

"Oi!" Draco's voice echoed in her bedroom, causing Pansy to fall off of Ron and the couch, followed by a loud bang from Draco flinging the bedroom door open.

"What the fuck Draco!" she shouted back from her new position on the floor between the couch and the coffee table.

"Didn't I tell you to behave?" he shouted back at her, running his hands through his hair. "Just what the hell did you say to him?"

Pansy recovered just enough to find her voice, "To whom?"

"Your father," Draco yelled back, as he started to pace. His hand never leaving his hair. "What did you say to him?"

"Lots of things as usual. Why?"

"Why the bloody hell then is he all about an arrange marriage all of a sudden then? Especially after he swore not to do anything after we called off our engagement!"

"Oh," Pansy whispered gulping, of all the things he heard her say that afternoon. He chose that one. She felt very little at the moment.

"What?" Ron yelled standing up quickly.

"Yeah, exactly, Weasel" Draco huffed as he continued to pace the room. "What the hell did you say to him Pansy?"

"Of all the things he actually heard me say..." she started trying to appear more collected on the outside than she was on the inside.

"WHAT?" Ron and Draco yelled together.

"He's just calling my bluff," she said, refusing to look at either Ron or Draco. "I wouldn't take it seriously. I wasn't exactly nice to him when I left his office today. This is probably his way to force an apology out of me."

Draco shouted, "What exactly did you say to him?"

"It wasn't even the worse thing..."

Draco growled, grabbing her by her shoulders and lifting her up onto her feet, "Then why are you stalling? Tell me exactly what you said to him. NOW!"

Pansy felt very small at the moment when she said, looking at Draco's feet, "I told him that I was done fighting him and for him to either to set up an arrange marriage or let the line die. I asked him to either stop pretending he wasn't interfering in my existence or he stops interfering all together."

Draco's hands dropped from her, causing her to fall onto the couch. His voice shaking he whispered, "What were you thinking?"

"Explain." Ron ordered. "Now."

"I'm with him," Draco growled stepping away from her.

Pansy curled up as deep as she could in the couch as both men poured themselves drinks. She just wished she knew what she was supposed to explain. She had only meant the comment to prod her father. Use it as an example of how he 'pretended' not to interfere in her existence.

Hell she had even forgotten about it after all her failed begging of him to let her go – thinking that was were her freedom from him lie. She never thought he would bite, or that Draco would attack her or worse yet, that Ron would hear what she said to her father.

"I'm waiting," Ron coolly said interrupting her thoughts. "Because I sure as hell would like to know where I belong in your life, if you just told your father to arrange a marriage for you. Because I have a news flash for you – all parents interfere in their children's lives whether they ask them to or not."

"And I'd sure as hell would like to know exactly why I have been risking your father's and everyone else's wrath for since Christmas," Draco growled.

"Christmas?" Ron snapped. It was clear that though his eyes were focused on Pansy, the question was directed towards Draco.

Draco snapped back, "Isn't that about when you came into her life? My lying to him about your relationship is as much about protecting you as her, Weasel."

"So are you going to start explaining just what the hell is going on?" Ron asked pouring himself another glass. "And why the Ferret feels the need he has to protect me due to our relationship."

"Draco..." she quietly asked hoping he would help.

Instead he interrupted as he took a seat on the couch facing the one she sat on, "You know your mother has been on me to force you to stand on your own two feet. From where I stand, having signed my own death warrant for your arse for encouraging whatever the two of you have -- this looks to be as good of time as any. YOU are going to explain it to him," pointing at Ron, "Without any help from me. While you are at it YOU are going to explain to me why you would say such a thing to your father. As far as I'm concerned, you dug this grave, all by yourself. Either get yourself out or finish the damn job."

Out of nowhere, something inside Pansy snapped, after all she had been through today – her mouth started working without a care as to what her mind was telling her to not say or do, "What do you want me to say? There isn't anything I can say that can make either one of you understand why I said, what I did to my father because now thinking back, I don't know why I said it, outside I know I was hurting when I threw it at him. But believe me when I say, that was by far NOT the worse thing I said to my father today. It is just for whatever reason, the only thing he zoomed in – maybe because it is not only the one thing he can control in my life but because it was the only thing he would be willing to do."

"So you know what," Pansy sighed, absolutely defeated. Getting up from the couch, she continued, "Like I told my father earlier. I'm done. I spend everyday fighting them about every little aspect of my existence. I really don't want to have to fight the two of you every time some comment comes up when I find myself angry, hurt or frustrated by all those 'good' intentions and snap without thinking. All I ever do is fight except when I'm with the two of you. The two people I NEVER have to play games with or pretend to be someone I'm not. You know as well as I do Draco, that I have a greater tendency to stick my foot in my mouth after someone hurting me. "

After waiting several minutes for one of them to say something, Pansy stood up and moved to her dressing room in order to get the distance she needed to apparate cleanly. Not looking their way, she finally sighed and said, "The only thing I said of any merit to my father today that I wanted him to follow through on was that I asked him to let me go. I stood there in my father's office and begged him to let me go. So forget about whatever wrong you two think I committed against the two of you today. Nothing is worse than what I said to my father. I mean, what kind of daughter asks her father to let her go? What kind of person does that make me?"

"Lizzie, don't you dare go to see him," Draco growled, starting to move towards her, sensing her intentions. "Especially not now. This isn't how you stand on your own two feet. You want your father to see you and hear what you are actually saying? Then stop running away every time he or anyone hurts you. Stop acting like a spoiled child and running away to the one place that only you can get to!"

"I don't care Ferret. Do you hear me – I don't care!" she snapped fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall. "I'm going to go see the one person who has NEVER interfered in my life. Who has NEVER belittled me. Who has NEVER questioned me. Who has ONLY ever listened. Who has ONLY wanted the best for me in terms of what I've wanted out of my miserable little existence. Who has ONLY shown me the parental love and affection that I spend more time than I want to admit craving."

Breathing hard, she continued, "So when Philip finds out that I've gone to see him, you can bloody well explain why I went to see him. Why I always go to see him when he hurts me! When he really hurts me! In fact, why don't you remind Philip that I also asked him today to start being my bloody father instead of just acting like him. Remind him what an ungrateful little shit I am."

Entering her dressing room, she closed the door behind her and quickly locked it before Draco could stop her. Grabbing her cloak and gloves, she bundled up and disapperated to the one place she knew that no one could follow her until she was ready to go back.

At least now, they would know and believe how upset she really felt. She just hated the fact that this was the only way to reach them, to make them believe her, when she was this hurt by their 'good' intentions.

Maybe one of these days, they would learn she would stop running to him, the moment they started letting her live.

* * *

_A/N: By some miracle (and the good fortune that my better half is out of town, coupled with a severe head cold and insomnia), I managed to get this chapter up a few days early. If you read carefully, you will see that there is a lot of information buried in here. As I do write several chapters ahead (my editing process slows me down most of the time), I'm posting this early because I want to know your reaction. Your reactions will dictate the outcome of Chapter 12, which currently has two endings. My initial plan had it going one way but after editing this chapter to what you have read, my instincts started taking me down another path to the same conclusion but much darker.  
_

_ So to all of you who faithfully review every chapter I write (I love y'all), PLEASE let me know what you think. To all my silent readers, PLEASE take a moment and let me know what you think.  
_

_If you leave me to my instincts, this could get even darker than planned before it finishes. Or if this encourages you to leave a review/comment: one of the endings to Chapter 12 has a companion piece from Ron's POV, the other doesn't.  
_

_Don't forget the looking glass._


	14. Chapter 11 Forgiveness in Truth, Part I

When the world reappeared, all Pansy could see for miles around was the beautiful countryside. Rolling hills decorated with life. Trees struggling to cast the last of winter off their branches in order to be born again. Grass stretching to the sky, turning even greener. She smiled at the sound of birds chirping in the distance, the feel of the constant cool breeze on her skin, the magic that came with Avalon. The peace of heart that it bestowed upon her every time she walked through the gates.

Ahead in the meadow several yards from the gate where she stood, Pansy saw her destination. A small, two story stone cottage with a crimson door. She could see smoke coming out of one of the two chimneys. She hadn't taken but a few steps when the front door opened to reveal a beautiful blonde woman in a pair of tan jodhpurs and a white men's oxford. Her hair was much like Draco's in that the blonde so fine and pale that it was more the colour of platinum than actually blonde. She kept it long and tied back in intricate braids that looked like works of art themselves as they sparkled in the late afternoon sun.

"I thought I heard you approaching," the woman's lyrical voice sung out drifting along the breeze. "It's been awhile since I last heard your footfall."

"I know," Pansy called back as she moved closer. "I apologize for not visiting sooner."

"So what brings you buy today?"

"Needed to be around someone who cared about me but wouldn't yell at me."

Mags studied her for several minutes before saying, "What is going on with Philip?"

"Life under his rule has become a bit trying and I can't seem to appease him anymore...That's why I haven't been by in a while, I kind of needed to pick my battles appropriately," she admitted, ashamed to admit her motivations for not having come to visit two of her favorite people in this world.

"One of these days, Philip will remember we aren't the bad guys," Pansy watched as the woman's smile gently curved across her face with a hint of sadness though it reached up towards her soft, distant, grey eyes, as she continued, "However, I am rather interested in the fact that there is something different about you. I'm sensing something has changed you. For the better, I might add."

"Are you sure you haven't talked to my mother, Mags," Pansy smiled, finally close enough to the woman to hug her and feel Mags arms wrap warmly around her again. Pansy absolutely adored the woman. She had always sworn that Mags was a fallen angel as there could be no other explanation to how perfect she was in face, presence and character. "She said something similar earlier today."

Mags pushed her way and studied her, her hands carefully exploring her face, "Don't give me that cheek little one. You know your mother and I haven't spoken in years, and in pleasant terms even longer. But there is something in your voice that gives your heart away. It's lighter. More carefree. Less angry. So are you going to tell me what's changed, poppet?"

Sighing, Pansy softly said, fighting back the tears as she thought about it, "Doesn't matter really as I messed it up royally. I'm afraid everything will be back to normal after this visit."

"And why do you say that? I think you are underestimating the change I can hear in your voice."

"Why else? I opened my big mouth and planted my foot squarely into it. I don't have much faith that he will forgive me for what I said today."

"That's all?" she remarked with an incredulous sound to her voice. "You stick your foot in your mouth once and that alone will end your new world? Do you realize how many times my darling husband does it in a week?"

Pansy cocked her head really look at Mags, "Didn't you just hear what I said?"

"Darling, I'm blind not deaf. Bear and I have always thought that one of your more endearing qualities is that you do only stick your foot in your mouth, when someone hurts you. In fact, I doubt that there is a person in your life that doesn't know that about you. So I really can't image why sticking your foot in your mouth, a single time, will effect whatever has affected you this deeply. "

"Oh." Pansy softly whispered staring at her feet ashamed, starting to realize for the first time that she may have over-reacted when Draco and Ron confronted her.

"But I know why you are here. And I'm not it. He's out there with her memory," Mags whispered patting her face. "Chin up. I know you have your daddy's fighting spirit still in you. Whether or not you remember that. Don't give up on this person yet. They may surprise you, if you let them."

"But what about the curses?" she knew her voice sounded pitiful but she desperately needed the reassurance that if she was going to fight for this that it would be worth it in the end.

"What about them?" Mags gently said, kissing her on her forehead. "They aren't preventing you from having this bit of happiness are they? Or even simply caring for this person that has entered your life?"

"No," Pansy whispered.

"Then I don't see why they matter at all. Though you will need to tell him about them."

Tears welled in Pansy's eyes as she hugged Mags tightly, whispering, "Thanks Mags."

"You're welcome little one," Mags whispered hugging her back. Pushing her back, "Go and see him now."

Pansy smiled and nodded before heading towards the woods and the graves of all who came before her.

Weaving her way through the thick grove of trees she came to the protected meadow that held her family graves. She hung back in the shadows of the tree for a moment until she saw Bear amongst the sarcophagi that lined the sacred river that flowed through Avalon.

His long, black hair glistening in the sun, radiating it's unnatural blueish colour as it hung loosely in waves down his back. His tight pants and long duster coat were brown – either from dirt, dust, or were that colour, Pansy didn't know. She did notice that he had shaved his beard signaling that spring was finally here. That thought brought a smile to Pansy, she had always loved spring in Avalon.

Stepping out of the shadows, she made her way to the sarcophagus that was her mum's with Bear just inches away studying the sculpted face, his fingers caressing it's every line. She hadn't taken a few steps out of the cover of the woods before Bear turned his attention away from the grave and towards Pansy's direction. She always wondered how he could sense her presence from so far away.

"Come to visit your Mum?" his booming voice echoed through the meadow.

Shaking her head, she replied, "Actually, I came to see you."

"Well here I am," he laughed holding his arms out. He bowed deeply and with a large smile on his face, he joyfully asked, "What can I do for you your Highness?"

"Oh do shut up!" she laughed, stopping momentarily to look at the sarcophagus she hated most of all in this meadow.

"You were always a pretty child."

"Thanks," she replied, biting her lip and continuing towards Bear the next sarcophagus over.

"That bad day poppet?" he replied, patting the seat next to him.

Still biting her lip, she just nodded.

"What did Philip do now?"

"Why do you think it was him?"

"Only reason you ever stop over there," he said in a matter-of-fact tone while pointing to the offending sarcophagus

Pansy took a seat next too him in front of her mum's sarcophagus and nestled into his side. He wrapped his arm around her and squeezed her gently, "That bad?"

"I hate that I feel like I'm suppose to follow his lead blindly. Mum never did that, did she?"

"Are you kidding? There isn't a person in this world who could tell you mother what to do and get away with it. Not even Philip, no matter what he might tell you."

"Actually prefers to use her memory as emotional blackmail against me when I act out," she retorted with a huff.

"You know I wish you hadn't told me that," Bear growled. The sound echoing out of his mouth, suddenly reminded her how he got the nickname to begin with, Merlin knows it wasn't his full 6'5 frame that dwarfed anyone who came to close to him. "He has no right to do that to you."

"Sorry," she whispered, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. "I assumed you knew as it seems to be his favorite tactic as of late. Though as far as I can tell, all it has done, is deepen the split between us."

"I hate to hear that," he whispered, wrapping his arm back around her and placing a kiss on her head. "But it gives me an excuse to pop him next time the opportunity arises. Though I've never need one in the past. Maybe I kind find away to let Draco have a shot? What do you think about that?"

"Just make sure I'm in the room, promise?" Pansy said with a short laugh, turning her best puppy dog eyes towards him, pleading with her as best she could.

"Promise," he laughed, squeezing her tight to his body. "Anyway who cares what Philip thinks? You are a grown woman now. Tell him to worry about his own live."

"Would you believe I actually asked him to do that today but didn't get anywhere?"

"How did the avenging knight counter that?"

"He's currently working on trying to arrange a marriage for me because my not-so-brilliant mouth snapped at him to either arrange a marriage or let the line die."

"Wow. That's impressive even knowing your reputation," Bear whistled. "I can't believe you baited him with that."

"You aren't the only one."

"And why do I have the sneaky feeling that it didn't end there."

"Nope. The onslaught of blows just continued. Me throwing something his way and he would counter with something even lower and then I would counter...well you get the idea" she said shaking her head, staring at the grass surrounding her sarcophagus

"I sometimes wonder how his brilliant mind works – verbally sparing with you like you are school children at Hogwarts."

"If you ever figure it out, can you let me know? I'm having more and more trouble seeing him as my father these days."

"Deal. So outside of my favorite s.o.b living up to his reputation, what else has been going on since your last visit?"

"I found a bit of happiness."

"It's about time," he laughed squeezing her again.

"Don't get to excited," she warned him, her voice started to crack as she thought about going home and sleeping in her bed without Ron. "I doubt it will be there for me to hold onto when I return from here."

"Why is that?"

Pansy shrugged and sighed, "Draco informed him of my little comment about an arranged marriage. And realized that I hadn't told Philip about him."

Bear grabbed her arms and spun her where she sat. Incredulously, he asked while searching her eyes for confirmation of what he thought she just said, "You have a boyfriend?"

"Had a boyfriend is probably the better term," she whispered, blinking back the tears that had started to firm.

She felt his hand cup her cheek affectionately, patting it before saying, "Never thought I hear that word out of your mouth."

"You aren't the only one."

"I'm probably the only one who understands why you haven't told him, but do you think Philip has any idea that this has happened? And that's why he is suddenly so keen about getting you married."

"I don't think so. That would require him to see me, since everyone else has noticed the change without me telling them the cause," Pansy replied, looking at her feet, "Unfortunately, I'm afraid if I tell him then he will just flip out about me not staying within my boundaries when and if he finds out just who I've been seeing. Oh and there's the whole, he may very well kill Draco when he finds out."

"So Draco knows?"

She nodded. Silence fell over him as Pansy waited for what she had just told Bear to click in his head. All the implications of what she exactly said.

"Please tell me it's not someone in the circle," Bear groaned. "Please tell me you didn't take after your mum on that one."

"Worse," she whispered, looking at him out of the corner of her eye wanting to gauge Bear's reaction, figuring it would be the best way to judge how bad Philip's reaction could be.. Because she knew Bear would love her and support her no matter what, she just wasn't so sure anymore if the man she called her father would..

"I doubt it could be worse than your mum's situation. Damn near tore the circle apart."

"Oh, try Arthur Weasley's youngest son, Ron," she sighed.

"Lizzie," Bear sighed shaking his head. "Philip's going to lose his mind over this. I seem to remember him forbidding you from a relationship with Arthur's sons.. You've got to tell him...But whatever you do don't tell him by yourself, please make sure someone else is there with you."

Silence fell over the glen as Pansy sat there taking in the reality that her worse fears would be realized if she told the truth.

"Okay," she whispered, feeling the burn in her eyes. "What am I going to do?"

"Does anyone else know?"

Shaking her head, "I don't know. You and Draco know obviously. And I don't know if he has said anything to Potter or his father or Andromeda. I don't know who else he has regular contact with in the circle. Mother thinks I've been seeing someone and is encouraging me to bring him around and not hid him from Philip or the rest."

"So what do you think your options?"

"I go back and find that Ron can't forgive me, leaves, gets back with that Granger twit and I'll go on with my lonely existence and eventually settle into an arranged marriage," Pansy shrugged trying her best to act unaffected and failing miserably as tears started to run down her face with the realization that that scenario was the last thing she ever wanted. "Or I go back, he somehow finds it in himself to forgive me, I tell Philip, and watch him kill Draco. Anyway I don't win. I either lose Ron or Draco. And I don't even see why I have to lose either."

"Sounds like a situation my favorite s.o.b. would put a person in. I don't know what to tell you poppet. You are going to have to do what your mum did: make a decision and stick to it. No matter how much it hurts you in the end."

"But what if I think she's a bad example to follow?" she whispered, unable to look at him.

She sat there waiting for Bear to answer but he didn't say anything, so she continued with out looking up from her boots, "I either lose the man I've come to care about deeply or my best mate who has been through hell with me. And mum, well, we both know she just gave in. That's not making a decision, Bear, that's letting someone else make the decision for you. Hell look how it turned out anyway. No one got what they wanted in the end."

"How..I mean... What..." Pansy turned her head and watched as Bear stuttered in surprise and shock.

"I'm not an idiot Bear."

"How long?"

"I was five," Pansy said, still looking at her feet. "I overheard an interesting screaming match when someone had had too much to drink and she hadn't had quite enough."

"Do they know that you know?"

"What do you think?"

"So do you plan on telling them?"

"I hadn't," Pansy replied with a shrug of her shoulders. "We've all lived with the consequences for so long I always figured it no longer mattered. I mean which one of us actually wants a replay of all the gory details. Of either incident that led to where we re all now."

"You know everything," his voice strained as he asked.

Taking a deep breath, she turned her head to look at him, "Every sodding detail...And I still came out relatively well adjusted."

They sat in silence for several moments before Bear asked, "So are you planning on dropping anymore bombs on this old man?"

"How about one more?"

"What do you mean there's more?"

"I kind of won my last argument with your favorite s.o.b. On quite a lowblow. By his and my standard."

"What did you say to him this time?" Bear sighed, "Though honestly, I'm starting to think he deserves every hurtful comment you throw at him for the prison he's created for you."

"I asked him to let me go," Pansy whispered.

"Lizzie how could you? Even if you know the truth, how could you ask him to do that? After all he's done for you, been through for you."

"I know," she gently snapped, looking up at her mother's sarcophagus "I already promised her I would apologize. So we can move on. I just figured you needed to know also."

"I appreciate that. So how did she find out about what you said?"

"You'd be proud of me, I actually told her right after I said it. She wasn't happy about it either, kept trying to remind me that he loved me. I just told her that it didn't feel like it anymore. That I wish he would stop acting like my father and would just be him instead."

Pansy waited for Bear to tell her what he always told her. That he did love her. They all did. They just wanted was best for her and they were human after all and were bound to make mistakes. Her situation was tough on them all. Maybe even tougher than it was on her. Because there was always going to be one thing that none of them could give her. But he didn't. The loud, boisterous man, sitting beside her was quiet.

She turned her head to look at him and was taken by surprise to see tears in his eyes, "Bear," she whispered. Then she realized exactly what she said, "I'm sorry. I just..."

"Don't worry about. He probably needs to hear that out of your mouth, more than it hurts me to hear you say that especially if he doesn't know that you know," he whispered, pushing back her hair that had fallen in her face as his voice trailed off.

Silence fell over the glen again.


	15. Chapter 11 Forgiveness in Truth, Part II

Pansy just stared at her mum's sarcophagus. With a flick of her wrist, crimson and gold day lilies sprouted up around the grave. Bringing some life to the cold limestone grave.

"Can I ask a question of my own?" Bear asked breaking the silence.

"Sure."

"So what has made you so scared of you being who you really are? Besides Philip. If you know everything. Why hide anymore?"

Pansy whispered back, knowing that for the first time she genuinely meant the words she was uttering in response,. "I'm not scared of who I am. I mean there are times, I wish I only had one identity but I've gotten use to that."

Bear snorted at her, "Sounds like I didn't ask the right question. What are you scared of?"

I'm scared that he won't be there when I go home," she whispered, fighting back tears at the thought of what she was really scared of. "I'm scared that he will never forgive me. I'm scared that Draco will have to pay because I found someone who made me happy. I'm scared that I'm going to lose one of them due to the circle and their rules. Rules that, I'm slowly coming to realize, are more of a prison than the prison I was condemned to suffer in this life."

"If it means anything, I think you are overreacting," Bear said pulling her back to him. "I think you should talk to the young man first and then plan you next move. If he's anything like Arthur, which I can't imagine he isn't if his oldest brother is anything to go by, it's going to take a lot more than a few hurtful comments to scare him away. Especially if he cares for you even half as much as I think you care for him."

Pansy sadly smiled, "It's not that easy. Remember you are talking to the pro at hurting people who care about me. Especially when I'm hurting myself."

"It is actually that easy. No matter what anyone tells you. It's being able to swallow your pride that usually hampers people," he said shaking his head at her. "So stop being stubborn about this and listen to me."

"I absolutely love and adore the woman I married. Nothing in this world hurts me more than to hurt Mags so I do my best not to. That doesn't mean I'm not fallible and from time to time do a tremendous job in hurting her. I know you can think of one time in particular. But she loves me enough to forgive me when I do something stupid, insensitive, rude or all of the above."

"But the curses?"

"What about them," Bear said, looking at the sarcophagus ahead.

"He needs someone who is free to love him back. That's whats right at the end of the day isn't it?"

"And do you want to be that someone?"

"You have no idea Bear," she whispered as she started to fight back the tears.

"Then I don't see what the problem is," Bear said standing up. "What no one ever tells you is that love is really a choice. It's not something magical or mystical. It's a choice made by two people. If you choose to be with him, choose to make him happy, choose to care about him, chose to make him a part of your world – then that is enough.."

"Philip and Persephone are not going to be happy I told you this but I know you need to here this now. Not later," he continued, standing up, "You said you thought your mum didn't make a choice but she did. We all did - I chose honour and Mags. Your mum chose duty while your father chose her."

"Go home Lizzie and apologize to him. Make him forgive you," he said before planting a kiss on her forehead before turning and walking away from the graves and disappearing into the woods.

Pansy sighed and stood up, looking at her mum's sarcophagus Letting her fingers drag slowly across her mum's face, trying to remember how her skin actually felt under her fingers. She found that she couldn't.

Closing her eyes, she turned around and with a flick of her wrist caused love-in-idleness to shoot up around the grave she hated so much. Pansy wondered what Bear would say to her next time he saw her.

Blinking away the tears, she disapperated discretely into her car park behind her flat wanting to see who was actually in her flat before apperating straight into her room and into an ambush. Walking up to the front door, she felt like the crimson door was mocking her. Beseeching her to enter the lair that she just knew her flat had become in her absence. That it somehow knew the danger that laid within.

Taking a deep breath, she started hoping that Draco wasn't home, when she opened the door. She really wasn't in the mood for being attacked by him yet again. She'd probably snap even quicker than the last time if he tried to engage. Even though she knew he had the right to attack, she just didn't want him to.

Putting her cloak in the closet, she realized that she wasn't that lucky as she saw every single one of Draco's cloaks hanging there were laughing at her. Reminding her that he was lying in wait for her. She finished hanging up her bag and cloak and slowly moved into the kitchen. Anticipating the attack.

Upon entering the kitchen, she saw Theo and Draco sitting at the table, their feet resting on the table while Draco was playing with a snitch. Evidently the gods really hated her because it was obvious that they were waiting on her to get home. And had been for sometime by the takeout boxes on the table. She now hoped that Ron had gone home. She couldn't face him again, not today at least. She needed time to figure out just what she was going to say to him. And more importantly figure out, just how she was ever going to get him to forgive her.

What she really wanted to do at that very moment, though, looking at the two men who where looking intently at her silently, was to go upstairs, owl in sick from work tomorrow and hide from the world a little longer. She continued through the kitchen without a word, hoping they would just leave her alone.

"I was wondering when you were going to come home. In case you are wondering, I haven't mentioned it to your father where you disappeared to."

"Actually," Theo slowly spoke, "you should be thankful he is so attached to the process of breathing."

"So why are you here then?" she snapped, pointing to Theo.

Theo drawled looking at her with bored indifference. "I happen to have been in the neighborhood, as a favor to your mother. Thought I might wait out your disappearance with Draco – make sure he doesn't do anything rash and go and get himself killed."

"And?"

"Well he also owes me 200 galleons."

Pansy glared at them both. Turning on her heel, she stormed her way out of the kitchen and through the front palour.

"I would like to talk to you," Draco called out to her.

"As would I."

"Too damn bad," Pansy called out, heading up the stairs.

"You do know there's only room for one spoiled child in this flat and I prefer to be it." she heard Draco say.

She didn't bother with a response and continued up the stairs. Unfortunately, she heard Draco's footsteps behind her.

"You know you can't ignore me forever."

"I'm not ignoring you."

"Then what are you doing?"

"I just don't have anything to say to you at the moment," she called back down the stairs. Turning back around,, she found herself standing in front of Ron.

"So do you have anything to say to me then?"

_Where was a hole in the floor when you needed it_, she thought.

She mumbled to her shoes. "I'm surprised you are here."

"Actually, we discussed it at length and decided that there is plenty more to say between the three of us," Draco replied, "You still haven't explained to either one of us why you told your father to arrange a marriage for you when you have been clearly seeing someone. Granted I might not deserve an explanation but the Weasel here sure as hell does."

"I was trying to get him to stop interfering and it was a stupid thing to say. He just keeps saying he isn't interfering in my life and I called him on it with the one thing, I thought he would refuse to do," she sighed.

She waited for one of them to say something but they were both silent. She wanted to say more but she just didn't have the energy or the courage to do so at the moment and hoped she could get a second chance tomorrow after she had gotten some sleep."Can I please just go up to my room now?"

"Not yet," Ron said, "I would really like to know why you won't just tell your father about me? Tell him about us."

Pansy's head still hanging down, she admitted the truth, "Because he would read me the riot act and probably lock me away somewhere. Afterwards, he would more than likely use the killing curse on Draco... He can confirm that for you if you don't believe me, so could Theo actually."

"Over a bloody boyfriend? The same man who is trying to arrange a marriage for you at the moment?" she heard him growl.

"It's the truth Weasel," Nott's voice called out. "Pansy tell him why?"

Softly, Pansy whispered, "Because you and your brothers are forbidden to me, Daddy's orders."

"And why would we be forbidden to you? Because we were nothing more than poor blood-traitors?"

Pansy's head shot up, tears in her eyes, "I'm not going to dignify that with an answer. Draco, Theo you explain it to him, I'm going to bed."

She pushed past Ron before he had a chance to react and started to run to her bedroom. She was halfway up the stairs when Ron called out, "We aren't finished yet."

"We are for tonight," she yelled back, her voice cracking from the tears she was forcing back.

Running into her room, she slammed the door hard and came to rest on it. Sliding down the door, she curled herself up in a little ball and cried into her knees.

"He's a nice man. Reminds me a lot of Arthur really," her mother's voice froze Pansy were she sat.

"What are you doing here?" Pansy asked, picking her head up..

In the soft glow of the fire, Pansy saw her mother resting on the couch facing the door to her bedroom suite. She was dressed more casually than usual. Her hair pulled up in a ponytail and she had casually dressed in a white button down with heavy necklaces and jeans with a pair of high-healed boots. There was something entirely different in her mother's countenance and pose, in the casual attire and atmosphere. Something rebellious and defiant, two words that she never associated with her mother before.

"Wondering why on earth you chose to tell your father to arrange a marriage for you? Especially now having met the young man who obviously cares for you."

"I don't know why everyone is making such a big deal about him calling me on my bluff."

"I hate to tell you this Lizzie. He's not calling your bluff. For whatever reason, he actually thinks your serious and acting upon it."

"Why?" Pansy struggled to hold back the tears as it hit her how serious her father took her earlier. Of all things he actually heard her say, he had to zone in on that one.

"Come here," her mother patted the couch. Pansy slowly got herself off the floor and went over to were her mother was sitting. Laying on the couch, she placed her head in her mother's lap, like she used to do when she was younger. "I don't know why he's doing it, little one.. When he told us about his intentions earlier, I was so shocked that he would consider something like that after what happened years ago that I couldn't even speak to him. In fact, I had to leave the room, so did Draco. In fact it was probably a good thing Bear wasn't there."

"When I finally calmed down enough to realize how serious he was after everyone had left, I followed Draco here afterwards to talk to him to see if he knew anymore about this than I did. So here I am trying to figure out why you would even bait him with something like this."

"I was calling him on his interference. He just loves to say that he isn't interfering in my existence but he does. I just thought he would here me when I said that."

"And everything else you said to him that you told me about, was that before or after this whole marriage thing?"

"After," Pansy replied cringing waiting for her mother to say something but she just sat there quietly continuing to stroke her hair. After a few moments, Pansy was finally brave enough to admit, "I'm just trying to push him enough that he will let go of me. I want to live my own life without fighting him every step of the way."

"He just wants you happy," her mother replied, stroking her hair. "That's all anyone wants for you. That's all I want for you."

"Then why does everything I do make him unhappy?"

"He's your father. Your father will always think he knows whats best for you. Whether it's actually good for you or not. What he does with you is no different than how he is with Daisy or Dahlia. I promise you that it annoys them also. Sometimes I think the two of you are a bit oversensitive to the behaviour and blow slights out of proportion because your relationship is partially chosen, and partially forced upon you."

"What am I suppose to do now?"

"I think a little honesty will go a long way with him and the others. Frankly, I've always hated how well your father taught you to lie and tell half-truths. You do it to well for your own good.."

"You know its to keep me safe."

"From what?" her mother sighed. "Lucius Malfoy's greed? He will never be able to touch again, Draco won't allow it."

"But..."

"No buts Lizzie. It's time you realize that your father and the others tampered with your life as throughly as Lucius did years ago. You have paid the price from all their good intentions as well as all the bad ones they focus on."

"I know you and I have this deal but I'm going to do it this one time.. Draco and I both know you really care for that young man who is outside this door right now. Do the right thing, bring him to lunch on Sunday. Don't hide him or how you feel about each other from your father, his father, or the others."

"But what about..."

"What about it," her mother cut her off. "If it bothers you that much, tell him the truth. If he's still around after everything you put him through today, then I think he can hear that from you. You've let your father and the others influence govern the way you make decisions."

"Always remember that her death was unintentional. Not even Lucius planned on killing your mum that night."

"You sound like Bear. About the first part that is," Pansy whispered. Her mother's hand suddenly stopped stroking her hair. "The second I keep forgetting."

"Back to Bear, what did he tell you?" her mother's voice sounded strained, Pansy rolled on her back to look at her mother but she was starring straight ahead towards the door.

"Told me that all love really was a choice between two people. And nothing magical or mystical. That we all choose for different reasons. If I'm choosing him because he makes me happy, then I need to go for it. So the curses shouldn't matter."

Her mother didn't say anything and Pansy didn't press her. Pansy laid there silently trying to wrap her mind around everything her mother had just said as well as everything Mags and Bear had said today as her mother continued to stroke her hair. Pansy didn't know how long they sat there in the darkened room.

"You know there is a young man outside that door that deserves an apology from you."

Pansy sat up, "I know. I just don't know what to say. Or how to say it"

Her mother's hand cupped her face, and whispered gently, "I'm sorry is usually a good starting point. It took me a long time to learn that. That and it's better not to sit on an apology."

Pansy softly smiled and nodded her head.

Her mother kissed her forehead as she rose from her seat, "I'm off to see if I can convince your father to stop this nonsense about an arranged marriage for you."

"Thank you," Pansy cried out, jumping up and wrapping her arms around her mother. "Thank you for everything."

"I'm always here for you. I've always been little one." she whispered in her ear, before turning and walking away. "Don't forget me when he hurts you. I know that I told you earlier that it hurts me when you hurt each other but it still should stop you from coming to me when it happens."

When her mother opened the door, Pansy could see Ron leaning against the balustrade obviously waiting for her. His arms crossed and shoulders squared as he stared at her. She watched her mother say something to Ron, that softened him momentarily, but she didn't catch it. Pansy was too focused on him. She just heard her mother tell Theo she was ready to go home as her heels clicked down the stairs.

Pansy stood there in her bedroom looking at him, fighting back tears. She noticed Ron didn't move, he just stayed where he was leaning against the balustrade, looking at her. Pansy stood there waiting for him to turn and walk out all the while hoping that she would get the chance to apologize. Though she had absolutely no idea what she was going to say which was contributing to the silence.

"You mother seems really nice," he said finally breaking the silence, pushing away from the balustrade and entering the room. "Not quite the person, you led me to believe she was."

"I know. I tend to blow things out of proportion when I'm hurt." Pansy's voice cracked as she continued to fight back her tears. "Look, I'm..."

"Leave it."

"What?"

"Just answer a couple of questions for me. That's all I want anymore."

"Anything."

"Why are me and my brothers forbidden to you?"

"I thought Draco would have told you."

"He wanted to, but I wouldn't let him. I want to hear it from you."

Pansy hated that she was going to have to skirt the truth about this after everything but it wasn't her place to reveal everything without her father's permission, because she wasn't even sure of the reasons why Arthur Weasley's boys were forbidden to her, "My father doesn't have a lot of faith in me when it comes to relationships. He really likes your father and didn't want me to hurt any of his sons. So I guess it's more like he wants to protect you from getting hurt by me."

"And Draco's comments about him lying to your father about protecting me as much as you."

"I think he want to give us a chance."

"To start something?"

Pansy nodded her head in agreement before whispering, "I think so."

"So in spite of knowing your father wouldn't approve, you started something with me?"

"When we started I thought we would just be friends," she confessed, "but then I realized I liked the way you made me feel. So I decided I wanted whatever time I could have with you. To feel what I did with you for as long as you would want me in your life. I hate to say this but when we got together, a part of me actually thought that you would go back to Hermione because in the end I really wasn't what you wanted."

"Did you lie on my birthday?"

"I don't understand," she asked puzzled, biting her lower lip.

"Am I what you want?"

She let the tears roll down her face as she nodded. Though her blurred vision, she saw him move to her. Before she knew it, he had picked her up and wrapped her in his arms causing her to really start bawling into the crook of his neck.

"I'm so sorry Ron," she sobbed over and over again as he hushed her, rubbing her back as he just held her.

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_A/N: Well I know I answered some of your questions -- kind of :) -- and gave you several more. I promise you, that several items will start making sense in just a few chapters. I also promise you that you do know more than you think and if you don't believe me, for a teaser, go check out **ClumsyTonks** last review. And to those I sent teasers to, there is something in her review which will help tie the three clues together.  
_

_Speaking of **Clumsy Tonks**, special kudos go out to her, **Wonderfall, Arellowyn, Chrisgocountryjr,**and** Princesa de Plata -- **thank you for your wonderful reviews. I love hearing what you think. Please keep the reviews coming. I try to answer everyone and lately, I've started putting hints/teasers into my messages to help with some of the confusion; for example, always pay attention to what Pansy considers 'slip-ups'. _

_I'm hoping to have the next chapter up by the end of the week, since I know all of you are anxiously waiting for lunch at the Parkinson's. To those who are waiting for Hermione's appearance that I promised, I promise it is coming; there are a lot of things going on at once as Pansy and Ron haven't been together but a couple of weeks at the end of this chapter. This is looking like a 30/35 chapter fic by the way I count chapters. _

_Seraph 0:)  
_


	16. Chapter 12 The Lair

**Disclaimer: Not the characters. Not the universe. Maybe the idea.**

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_She could do this_, Pansy kept telling herself. _She could go to lunch with her parents all by herself. Without Draco. And she would be fine. She wouldn't stick her foot in her mouth. _

_She could do this._

She kept repeating that mantra over and over again, as she surveyed herself carefully in front of the floor length mirror. She couldn't see a wrinkle on her short-sleeved, navy blue shirt dress with it's flared skirt anywhere. Her red belt and peep toe heels matched perfectly. After spending the entire morning trying to coax her hair into curls, she had given up – her hair now fell down her back, past her shoulders, in waves. Pansy had pinned the sides of her hair back with silver and ruby combs, just as her mother preferred her to wear her hair. Puckering her lips up one more time, she inspected her work to make sure that she had applied the ruby red color perfectly to her lips.

Taking a step back from the mirror, she took a deep breath, grabbed her matching red silk clutch and headed out of her dressing room. However, that breath quickly skipped away, when she saw Ron rise from his seat on the couch to greet her. His long red hair was tied back with a simple leather tie. He had also shaved which disappointed her; she had loved the scruffy texture his face had taken on in the past few days. Instead of jeans and a jumper, he was dressed in dark grey wool slacks and a deep forest green button down with French cuffs with silver cuff links. Pansy didn't think she had ever seen anything more beautiful in her life. And he was hers, she reminded herself with a smile on her face.

"About time, I was starting to think that I was dating a girly-girl after all," he said laughing. His blue eyes twinkling as she gawked at him, unable to hide her overwhelming physical reaction to him at that very moment.

Her mind went into overdrive wondering if she could get away with being late to her parents' house for lunch. Certainly her mother would, at the very least, understand why she was late.

"P?" Ron asked, confusion laced in his voice, drawing her out of the fantasy world she was slowly slipping into.

"Sorry," she responded shaking her naughty thoughts out of her head. " I think this is the first time, I've seen you in anything but jeans and a jumper. What is the occasion?"

"Lunch at your parents' is at 1pm, isn't it?"

"I don't understand."

"I'm going with you."

Taken back, she gave her head a brief shake before dismissing the idea with a simple, "You don't have to. It's only lunch."

"Then what's the problem, if it's only lunch?"

"Ron," she said moving towards him, "this is sweet and all but it will be better if I go by myself this time. Let me straighten out everything with my father first. Especially after everything that has happened this past week. How about you come with me next Sunday?"

"Why don't we straighten everything out together?" he told her taking her hand. "The car is already here so we don't have time to argue about this at the moment."

"Who put you up to this?" her eyes narrowed as she pulled her hand away from him as they were exiting the bedroom.

"No one put me up to this," he sighed, grabbing her hand and forcing her to follow him down the hall. "However, your mother did invite me. And Draco mentioned something about how he thought us going to lunch together would be beneficial to the both of us. He also mentioned something about me having to protect your mother's china and crystal...You are going to have to explain that to me in the car."

"I'm a big girl and quite capable of handling my father myself without smashing up my mother's china and crystal during a tantrum," she was feeling a little more than a bit put out by now having two brothers she never wanted. To emphasis her point, she stopped on the stairs and refused to go any further. She did, however, suppress the sudden urge to stomp her feet.

Ron sighed as he turned around. The difference in their heights lessened due to him being on a lower step; allowed them both to look each other in the eye without strain, Ron started, "I'm not saying that you can't handle your father by yourself. Neither is Draco by the way - though you are really not proving to me that you can stop yourself from destroying your mother's china and crystal at the moment."

"Then what are you saying?" her eyes narrowed, as she started tapping her foot.

"Remove the bloody glamour," he softly ordered, meeting her stare.

She huffed a 'fine' as she complied, "So what are you saying then?"

"Bloody hell woman," he argued, his voice taking on a firmer tone. "I'm trying to do something nice for you as well as trying to support you after the week WE have all had and you are being unreasonably stubborn. Didn't it ever occur to you that I might want to do this?"

"Don't go all Gryffindor on me. Why would you want to walk into the lion's lair? No one's that insane," she retorted with a hollow laugh.

"Lion? Don't you think that is a bit extreme? Your mother appears nice and you had her painted as Brunhilda."

"You haven't met my father."

"Not yet, I haven't. And if you don't stop arguing with me, then we will be late," he informed her. He took her hand again and forced her to continue down the stairs. "I've been told that your father is more punctual than you are. So being late will not make a good impression. Which is something high on my priority list if his legendary temper is anything to go by."

"And how would you know about his temper?"

"Strangely enough not from his bloody daughter who I've been sharing a bed with the past couple of weeks but from her bloody best mate. Care to explain that one?" he snapped.

He was right, she mentally conceded the point. She just felt a bit too stubborn at the moment to actually say it out loud.

She continued to follow him down, though she really didn't have a choice in the matter, and continued to argue with him, "You know, you coming with me will not make a good impression on my father regardless if we are on time or not."

"And why is that?" he coolly replied. To Pansy's frustration, he continued to move down the stairs and to the front door without any hesitation.

_Damn Gryffindors, _she mentally screamed.

"Because I frankly don't know how my father and his legendary temper will react when I introduce you – regardless if I introduce you as my boyfriend or not," she fussed, still trying to get him to let go of her wrist. "I would rather you let me go see him by myself this time and gauge his reaction before adding you to the fire of his brimstone."

He spun on her at the very moment, his angry blue eyes starring at her. He grabbed her around her waist and pulled her to him, "And I'm still going with you. The rest of this argument will have to wait until we get home. Until then, introduce me as anyway you see fit but if it is anything but as your boyfriend to your father, I can assure you the fight that will be awaiting you is nothing you have ever experienced. Especially since I'm starting to wonder why I'm even here given that you will happily fight me to be with me but no one else."

Checkmate. Pansy knew he had her dead to rights.

Rendered speechless, her mouth opened, Pansy just stared at Ron. Her mind blank. She hadn't taken into account that there was somebody on this planet that would challenge her decisions in such a way that she would have no argument herself. For the first time in her life, she realized she just lost. And if she wasn't careful, she was going to lose him too.

"What is this really about? You are being more stubborn about this than even what is typical for you," Ron softly growled, breaking the silence that had fallen over him as his eyes narrowed studying her. His demeanour unexpectedly, suddenly changed right before her eyes; his eyes and face no longer firm and determined had softened. Pansy had no clue as to what had triggered this change but it was making her uncomfortable.

Pansy squirmed as much as she could in the position trying to free herself from Ron's arm, "I told you..."

"There is something else," he interrupted her, loosening his grip on her. "I've could've sworn I saw your eyes flash colours. Is there something you aren't telling me?"

"No. I just don't want to throw you into the lion's lair," she replied, avoiding the second question because she knew he had to be imaging things in the heat of their argument – there was no way her eyes could have flashed colours. Especially without the glamour on. "This is me protecting you from my father. You have no idea as to how bad his temper is. Draco's more scared of him than he ever was of Lucius. And that is saying something."

She felt his hand come up to her face and run his fingers down her jaw, "That's not it. You are avoiding something. What is this really about?"

"I told you..."

"Lizzie," he gripped her jaw and forced her to look at him. "Talk to me."

"Ron, I'm really not joking about his temper. "

"And I'm telling you it will be okay. So what is this about?"

She whispered, "Please, I've disobeyed him in a major way. And when he finds out, he will hit the roof. Let me take his anger today, he won't do anything to me. I promise. I just can't promise that he won't do anything to you."

"How can you ask me to stay here, now that you have told me that?"

"Please," Pansy softly whispered, managing to free her arm enough to touch his face. "That's why Draco really wants you to come. He doesn't trust my father not to lash out at me in some way, shape or form. Though I promise you, he never has and never will hurt me. Unfortunately, no one else alive will ever be that lucky."

"You mean Malfoy is setting me up?"

"No, you aren't listening. Draco doesn't trust him. Hasn't since we were kids. He probably thinks I'll be safer if you are there if he isn't – someone to protect me," Pansy shook her head as she spoke. "I'm probably the only one that believes that all all my father will do when I tell him about you and us is yell at me. I promise you, I'm not naïve enough to believe that it won't be bad, I just know it will be loud and vicious all the same with us both verbally hurting each other."

"How many times do I have to tell you, I've fought a war. Please stop trying to protect me. Let me help you here."

"I know you've fought a war," Pansy looked at him studying his concerned face. "I just don't want you to have to fight another one on my account. Especially one involving an overprotective father who has a tendency to overreact when it comes to me."

"This one is worth fighting because you are worth fighting for. Remember that," he whispered, kissing her on the forehead. "Just trust me and your mother on this one."

Ron took her hand back securely in his hand led her through the kitchen and out of the house without another word. Pansy knew he was right. She didn't like it but she knew she had to do this his way this time. He gave her a soft smile as he helped her into the back of the Phantom that her parents' had sent around. She returned his soft smile but other than that she remained quiet, silently praying that her father wouldn't overreact.

The entire car ride to her parents was silent. For once, she grew increasingly uncomfortable with the silence as the car ride progressed. Every so often, she turned her head to look at him. His focus appeared to be on the scenery as they transversed London, though he absentmindedly rubbed her hand that he was holding.

"Ron," she whispered, taking his hand. "I'm sorry."

"I know," he whispered back, squeezing her hand, "I just wish you would stop trying to protect me. We are in this together remember."

Taking a deep breath, she confessed softly, "I know. I just didn't and don't want to pressure you into anything – given everything you've been through since I became a part of your life."

Ron turned to look at her. He didn't say anything at first as he reached up to touch her face, then he softly asked, "Will you do me a favor?"

"What is it?" she whispered.

"Stop thinking about me first in our relationship. You are a part of this too. I know you don't want to do this but this is something you have to do." he whispered, placing a tender kiss on her lips."Remember, Draco and your mother want you to start standing on your own two feet. Think of this as a first step."

The opening of the door, brought them back to reality.

"Ready for the supposed lion's lair?" Ron playfully told her, brushing her curls off her shoulders to hang down her back.

"I am now," she smiled back, wiping off lipstick residue from Ron's lips.

"You might want to put the glamour back on," he told her sliding out of the car. "Might as well not add fuel to the fire if we don't have too."

"Oh," and complied.

Taking his proffered hand, she exited the car with a quiet, "Thank you."

"So how wealthy are you?" he discretely whispered as he guided her to the front of her parents' stately city home in Kensington, complete with a rare private park.

"I can buy and sell Malfoy a few hundred times," she said with a teasing grin on her face, "which is quite convenient when I want something from him or want him to do something. He's rather expensive."

Ron gave a low whistle, "I didn't realize there was a wizarding family with more money than the Malfoys."

"Who said anything about my family?" she asked off-handedly, as they walked up the stairs to the front door. "I mean, the Parkinsons' have a fair bit --" her voice trailed off when she realized that Ron had stopped in his tracts. As he still had her hand in his, it forced her to turn around, falling back a step. Looking at him puzzled, "What?'

"What did you say?" his bright blue eyes wide, concern and fear flitted through them.

"About what?" she asked looking at him puzzled. She had no idea what she said that would effect him in such a way. He wasn't scared to meet her father but he suddenly seemed unnerved by her wealth and status.

"You...Your family...I don't understand."

"Understand what?"

"Just how much money do you have?"

"More than Malfoy," she ask, bringing her hand up to his face. "I'm sorry to bring it up, I just figured you knew – given the flat in Holland Park...Does this bother you?"

"I guess not but I just hadn't put it all together until now...So why are you with me?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I will never be --

"All of this means nothing," she whispered, interrupting him before he got any further. "I'm still the same girl who likes to play with my potion set at the Ministry and am never been happier than when I'm with you."

"Are you sure, I mean..." Ron's voice trailed off.

Nodding her head, "It means nothing to me whereas you do mean everything," planting a light kiss on his lips. "The lion awaits."

Taking his hand, she led him into her parents' home. She was impressed how he held himself together as they entered the large double doors that had been opened upon their arrival. Pansy remembered the first time that Draco had step into this house. He had been beside himself and he had grown up in the illustrious Malfoy Manor. However, Ron appeared to take in stride as soon as the shock of just how wealthy her family was wore off. In fact, Pansy thought he looked like he belonged there as much as she ever did amongst the wood, art, glass, furniture and fabrics that decorated the large entryway.

Pansy watched her mother gracefully came down the center of the main staircase, following the faded Persian carpet that laid upon it. Her blonde hair was pulled up and rested gracefully on her head. She was dressed as was typical for Sunday lunch: a knee-length skirt in a bold colour – this week it was a kelly green; a neutral sweater set; a pearl collar made up of two strands of white pearls; and simple heels that matched the sweater set. A pleasant smile grew on her face as she floated down the stairs.

"Good afternoon Mother," Pansy called out in her most pleasant and proper tone, gently squeezing Ron's hand for reassurance. "Thank you for extending the invitation for today to the both of us."

"Your welcome," her mother replied coming close enough for her and Pansy to kiss each others cheeks in greeting. "I suspected you would need more than a gentle suggestion on my part to bring the young man you've been seeing. How are you today, Ron?"

"Very well. Thank you."

"Did she give you too much trouble?"

"Nothing I couldn't handle," he said with a grin, taking Pansy's hand again.

Her mother's smile grew even more, "Good, that means at least one of us is capable of handling my spoiled little one."

"Mother," Pansy whined, her cheeks turning red out of embarrassment

"She's only teasing love," he said placing a chaste kiss on the top of her forehead.

"I don't like you two anymore," she snapped petulantly, tapping her foot.

"Yes you do sweetheart," her mother responded gently, tapping her cheek. "You've just forgotten what it's liked to be teased, so please stop tapping your foot. It's rather irritating. Why don't you go collect your father from his study while Ron helps me open the wine for this afternoon's lunch?"

"Yes mother," she replied, planting a quick kiss on Ron's cheek. She giggled as she had to wipe off the residue before he escorted her mother into the parlor where they had lunch when her sisters weren't in residence.

Turning, she walked towards her father's study just a little bit down the hall. She was about to enter his study, when her father opened the large double doors.

"Hello Daddy," she said standing on her tiptoes to kiss him on his cheek. She quickly went to remove the smudge of lipstick on his cheek, making a mental note never to wear red lipstick again to lunch with her parents, before continuing, "Mother asked me to fetch you. Lunch is ready."

Her father narrowed his eyes and looked her over, "Who are you and what have you done with the cranky little brat I call my daughter?"

Pansy softly smiled as she took his arm, "And here I thought that this change was what you were wanting in me and of me."

"It is. I'm just wondering what has occurred to bring about this abrupt change in your attitude and behaviour."

"I need to apologize for my behaviour last week. I was out of line, I shouldn't have baited you as I did. I do apologize and I am grateful that you are no longer pursuing an arranged marriage for me."

"I know you don't believe this most of the time but your mother and I have always only wanted what was best for you."

"I do know that Daddy," she sighed as they walked towards the parlour. "However, I just want a bit of freedom to live my existence as I choose. I need you to let me stand on my own two feet while not questioning every decision I make. In return, I'll work on not hiding behind Draco and be more forthcoming with what is going on in my own existence."

"I know I'm guilty of forgetting you are all grown up now because you are still my little girl and will always be my little girl," he said kissing the top of her forehead.

"Daddy," she said stopping him just outside the doors to the parlour. "I'm not a little girl anymore. You need to trust me to take care of myself."

"But..."

"I'm not saying that Draco has to move out," she started quickly. "What I am saying is that you have to trust me to protect myself while still allowing me to find whatever bits of happiness I'm able to grab onto. Even if you do not approve."

Her father started to nod his head but stopped. He narrowed his pale blue eyes at her and looked her up and down, "There's something different about you."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" she huffed without thinking. "You'd think I grew horns out of my head or something."

"Who's saying that?" her father growled reaching out to grab her. "And why hasn't anyone told me?"

Stepping away from her father and out of his grasp, she gestured wildly with her hands, "This is probably why Daddy. You have this horrible tendency to jump to the worst possible conclusion when I'm involved. May I remind you that just minutes ago, you liked the change you saw in me too."

"Kettle meet cauldron."

"We've established that many a time Daddy. I am your daughter. Whether we remember that most days or not."

"So are you going to explain to me what is going on in your life? And who else knows about it, so I can remind them who is in charge."

"No," she replied with a shrug. "I made them promise me not to tell you..."

"Lizzie," he growled. "Of all things..."

"But I am more than happy to show you what is going on in my life. What is making me happy," she retorted quickly knowing her father was at his wits end at the very moment. Opening the doors to the parlour to reveal her mother standing with Ron. "As you can see I brought a guest to lunch today. Don't worry, I've already extended my apologies to mother for the intrusion. Daddy, this is Ron Weasley, my boyfriend. Ron, this is my father, Philip Parkinson."

"As in Arthur Weasley's son?" her father's growl caused Pansy to jump and stare at her father. She didn't know what to expect but she hadn't expected his displeasure to erupt so quickly. Pansy had fully expected him to seethe through lunch first before erupting.

"Yes sir," Ron replied moving closer to her father. "His youngest to be exact."

Pansy's eyes never left her father as she watched his complexion grow redder and his blue eyes grow stormy and dark. She shuddered as she stood by her father – this was going to be worse than she thought.

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_A/N: I apologize profusely for the delay. My professional theatre responsibilities have kept me tied to work six days a week, with most days being 12 hour days. As there is a bit of a cliff-hanger with this chapter, I will try to get the next chapter up in a week. Please know that my work commitments cease at the end of the month. After that I should be back to my normal updating schedule of every 5 or so days._

_I am also working with a beta but her commitments at the moment are as crazy as mine, I will be updating chapters as I receive them back from her. If A/N has a kudos to my beta in it -- then it is beta'd, if not -- we haven't gotten to it yet. As most of you can tell, spelling is the weak point in my writing, so I'm reluctant to make you sit and wait while we edit several chapters.  
_

_Special thanks go out to **Wonderfall**,** deeps85,**and** Ezekeil's Home-made Moonshine **for your wonderful reviews. Please keep them coming in. The next chapter I promise you is one that many of you are waiting for with Philip's reaction -- also included is the reason why the Weasley boys are forbidden (I know, I'm mean).  
_

_Lastly, based on my real-life experience with owning a similar piece of jewelry, there is nothing sexual about the pearl collar that Pansy's mother is wearing at the end. Necklaces involving strands of pearls have different names to distinguish the length of the necklace and how you should wear it. A collar is generally 10-12" long and sits on the neck itself whereas a choker is 13-15" long and sits on the base of the neck. There are other lengths, however, I'm not as well versed in those terms and descriptions as I typically wear a collar._


	17. Chapter 13 Fighting Sacrifice

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I do not make any money off of this.**

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Chapter 13 – Fighting Sacrifice

Everything happened so fast.

One minute, Pansy was on top of the world. She had abruptly, at the last minute, found the courage to tell her father about Ron. Before she had turned to stare at her father, her eyes had been on her mother who couldn't hide her pride as evidenced in the smile on her face and the light in her eyes. Pansy was proud of herself. She couldn't remember the last time she really stood up to her father without being absolutely immature about it in the process.

The next minute, though, Pansy found herself being pulled out of the morning parlour by her arm as her father quickly said a mumbled excuse that she didn't quite catch. Once the doors to the parlour had shut, she found herself being thrown into the entry way. A quiet clicking noise, as well as the rush of magic she felt, added to the nightmare Pansy found herself in. She just prayed that this would only remain a shouting match and nothing more – knowing that everyone, including and most importantly Draco, was cut off from her now. Draco's and Bear's words of not being alone with her father when he found out, came back to haunt her at that very moment.

She had just figured that they were overreacting; neither one being her father's biggest fans – though the feeling was mutual. Her father had never done anything to harm her physically. However in that moment, Pansy just wasn't sure anymore that he wouldn't harm her today.

It was only when she hit the large round table that sat in the middle of the foyer, knocking over the antique Tiffany vase that her mother kept there filled with roses, did Pansy regain her balance. Unfortunately, she watched in horror, as the vase shattered into a million irreplaceable pieces. Spilling Black Beauty and Sterling roses and water over the circular, mahogany, Chippendale table and mahogany floor.

"How could you Lizzie?" Her father roared. His head looking up towards the ceiling and his arms outstretched.

"How could I what?" she yelled back, finding some more of that elusive courage from somewhere; though she was unable to turn and actually face him in her defiance. "You are acting like I've committed some horrible offense."

"What the hell was going through your bloody mind when you started a relationship with him? What did I tell you?" Her father's booming voice echoing through the foyer. Each sentenced punctuated in his boiling anger. "Didn't I tell you to stay away from every single one of Arthur Weasley's boys? Didn't I?"

"Yes you did!" she screamed, mainly in frustration as she pushed back off the table and spun around to face him.

"Then why the bloody hell are you introducing the youngest one to me as your boyfriend?"

"Because that is what he bloody well is. Ron Weasley is my boyfriend! Whether you like it or not. Or approve of it or not. I am beyond caring anymore."

"How long has this been going on?" he roared, putting his fist through the closest wall.

"The relationship? Or the friendship?" she sassed, moving away from the table but still making sure that she kept several feet between her and her father.

"The relationship."

It took her a few minutes to grasp on to her fading courage to reply truthfully to her father.

"Only a couple of weeks," Pansy's voice suddenly meek; half in fear, the rest in terror of her father's reaction to that bit of information.

And she was not disappointed.

"Of all the bloody stupid things you have done in the last few months, this has to take the sodding cake!" he yelled stalking towards her.

"What is so wrong with dating Ron? He's a good man. He's kind, loyal and hard-working. Besides that he is a war hero and has a solid job helping his brother run the most popular store on Diagon Alley," she pleaded, taking a step back every so often to maintain the distance between them.

"Are you doing this to take the piss out of me? Is this about me disapproving of you staying at the Ministry instead of taking the position with the Harpies?" he yelled back running his hands through his hair causing the ends to stick out a bit. Actually giving him the appearance of a male lion for once.

Pansy let out a scream of frustration, before continuing, "No FATHER! This isn't about you. This isn't some stupid job. This is about me – YOUR DAUGHTER. Isn't that what you call me? Or am I mistaken about that too?"

"How dare you," he grounded out moving towards her again, albeit quicker this time. "Whether you like it or not, you are still my daughter!"

"That is who I am trying to be," she hissed back her eyes narrowing, trying desperately to hold her ground against his advancing but conceding every time he got too close for comfort.. "I bring home a boyfriend that ANY father in the wizarding world would love their daughter to bring home and you yell at me. Accuse me of doing some horrible injustice to you. What do you want from me?"

"I have told you time and time again what I want from you -- I want you to do what you have been told to do! Especially in this case which means stay away from Arthur's boys! Do you understand me? Stay away from his sons Lizzie!"

Pansy huffed, trying to move away from him again, "I seem to remember that you didn't trust me about Draco and that turned out just fine. So let's consider this my second act of true rebellion against you and the circle – I'm not ending my relationship with Ron because you said so. If we end our relationship it will be because we decided to – not because of some misguided third party who keeps swearing they have my best intentions at heart but seem to fail every time when called to action."

"You ungrateful little shite!" he hissed, his eyes narrowing at her while his face took on a reddish colour from anger.

"Better than the arrogant bastard you are!"

"Oh I'm arrogant. That's great Lizzie," her father let out a hollow laugh that sent chills through her bones. "Kettle meet cauldron. There is nothing in this world more arrogant than bringing one of Arthur Weasley's boys into this house and flaunting him as your boyfriend to me of all people. I can't wait until the circle hears of who you are dating – especially Arthur. We will just see who the arrogant one is then, when they call you to the rug on this one."

Dumbfounded she looked at her father and asked, "And why should...no...why does it matter to them? They aren't the ones I call my parents – that privilege I only extend to you and Persephone."

"They matter Princess. As much as Persephone and I do. We've all put our lives on the line and sometimes on hold to keep you alive as charged."

"So where does running my life fall within your charge?" Pansy retorted, feeling her anger grow inside her as she flung her arms in the air in frustration. "I'm now an adult for Circe's sake. Treat me like one."

"Act like one and we just might."

"And maybe I should just remind you all of your place. Instead of passively allowing everyone to keep tampering with it in the name of good intentions, Philip."

"Philip? It's Philip now?"

"That is your name, isn't it?" she growled through her teeth. "Or are you going to start acting like my father again? Or maybe, heaven forbid, you should do as I asked you a week ago and just BE him. Be my father, Philip. Just make up your sodding mind and let me know what you want to be in my life so I can address you appropriately."

"You know two can play this game, Your Highness," he growled back, his angry tone heavily laced with sarcasm, before executing a deep bow in her direction. "But this humble servant would like you to explain why you are seeing a Weasley boy when all of us have told you time and time again to stay away from them for your own protection and well-being."

"Easy," Pansy retorted defiantly, planting her hands on her hips while tapping her foot, "because Ron Weasley makes me happy. I mean isn't that what you want to hear? Isn't that what all of you want to hear from these lips? I'm happy."

"But it's Arthur Weasley's son!" he growled back. "And stop tapping your bloody foot."

"I know that!" she yelled back, frustrated and confused; spinning as she turned around to walk away from him. She couldn't remember ever having such a circular argument with him ever. Spinning back around, she advanced on him and continued, "Merlin, we keep going in circles. Give me one good reason why I should throw away this piece of MY happiness to make you and the other eleven happy."

Her father moved towards her yelling, "Easy because you were told not to. You have been told time and time again to stay away from his boys."

"That is not a reason Philip and you know it!" she screamed in frustration, wildly gesturing her hands at him. "I asked for a reason -- one adult to another. Start treating me like an adult and I just might act like one."

"How about the one you seem to forget – because Weasleys only make love matches!" he screamed back grabbing her arms with both of his hands. "Do you hear me Princess? They only make love matches! Please let me know where that leave you?"

Any fight left in her disappeared that instant as she stared at him; feeling the effects of the cold dose of reality that washed over her painfully. She found herself partially glad that his arms where still holding onto her or else she would've fallen to the ground in a heap.

"It's nice to see you finally start listening to me," he coolly said, finally removing his hands from her arms. Pansy wasn't quite sure how she managed to remain standing without him holding her up.

"Don't be an arse," she coolly and softly whispered, wrapping her arms around her. "Smugness isn't a good look on you."

"And stupidity is not a good look for you. I thought you were smarter than this?"

"I'm not going to dignify that with an answer," she snapped, backing up from him.

Her father's eyes narrowed as he studied her, "I believe Draco knows about your relationship with Ron, doesn't he?"

"And what if he does?" she replied, standing her ground. Her father had another thing coming, if he thought she would sell out her bodyguard even for him, especially after what he and the others had done to him years ago.

"That stupid, foolish boy. I knew it. I knew he was a bad idea from the start. No one's been able to trust a Malfoy in more than a thousand years. Mags not withstanding," her father marveled moving back to the parlour. "Hopefully you will make a better decision this time, now that you are older and supposedly wiser. You should choose someone like Theo, for instance, this time. He's a good young man and will do as he is told."

Pansy just stared at her father. Absolutely incredulous as to what he just said and implied with that statement. Letting out a hollow laugh, she cruelly retorted, "Wow, Philip talk about kettle meeting cauldron."

"What are you talking about young lady?" he snapped, spinning back around to face her.

Cocking her head, she nastily replied, "Hearing you tell me to 'make a better decision' while mentioning Theo in the same sentence. Talk about arrogance Philip. Would you mind too terribly if I tell him what you just said? Merlin knows, I would love to see his face when I tell him you offered to sacrifice him, for the sake of me – AGAIN."

Pansy enjoyed every second that she stood in the foyer and stared at him while giving him her own version of Draco's impressive, condescending smirk. She stood there and watched his face turn so many shades of red as he struggled to keep his tongue in check for the first time today. Pansy found satisfaction that he knew that she had bested him in the end today.

"Lizzie," her father coolly began still trying to reign in his temper. "You have ten minutes to get Ron Weasley out of this house and Draco in it. After that, please consider yourself a resident of this house until further notice. I'll let Kingsley know you won't be in to work until you come to your senses about adhering to your responsibilities and obligations."

Of all the stressing she had been doing this past week about this very demand she knew her father would make, now that the very moment was finally here, she found that her decision was surprisingly simple and easy. She even found herself without any lingering doubts.

Pansy had always thought the choice would be presented as she would have to choose between one or the other. She never thought that he would make her give up both of them. He had another thing coming if he thought she would do that very thing.

"No," she replied firmly, shaking her head defiantly..

Her father quickly spun back around. His eyes narrowing, watching her as if she were nothing more than prey, as he stalked back to her before growling, "What did you say to me?"

Taking another deep breath to settle her raging nerves, she said more firmly, "I said no. If Ron leaves this house then so do I; neither one to grace your presence again. And I will make sure that Draco knows never to step foot in this house or within 50 feet of you again. On my orders. He may be able to defy you Philip but you know he is unable to defy me."

"Are you defying my authority?" he growled grabbing her arms again.

Her own temper rising inside her, she hissed as she pulled back away from him and out of his grasp, "Actually I believe I am reminding you of your place. You will no longer interfere with my relationship with Draco and/or Ron. If I get hurt by being with Ron, then that is my choice. He is my choice. Live with it Philip."

Pain abruptly radiated through her body causing her to cry out in agony. She briefly saw her father's eyes widen and surprise as he moved back towards her. A loud pop echoed throughout the foyer effectively deafening her and stopping him in his tracks. She closed her eyes as she screamed again from the pain in her chest. Pansy felt someone push her to the floor under the entryway table. Her body was on fire as it burned through her limbs. She had no idea what was going on as she struggled to get past the pain radiating from her chest.

It was the night her mum died all over again as colorful spells lit up the foyer. Voices wrapping around her as bits and pieces of walls, flooring, and furniture flew, littering the foyer. The broken glass from earlier started to swirl around the entryway as well. She quickly turned to her stomach, curling up in a little ball and covered her head with her arms for protection just as the entry way table exploded above her.

An errant spell hit the marble statue of Athena, causing it to explode and hit her with millions of hard and sharpened shards, bringing Pansy back to a different painful reality; now that her whole body hurt and not just her chest. She knew she couldn't stay where she was anymore. She had to get to Ron behind the doors to the morning parlour.

Struggling to her feet, she scrambled towards the morning parlor door trying to stay as close to the ground as possible. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw a flash of red light coming in her direction . She dove towards the side for cover under the Egyptian Revival settee next to the doors to the morning parlour. Fear overwhelmed her as tears rolled down her face. She struggled to regain some control as another spell bounced off the wall above the settee causing her to scream Ron's name.

His name hadn't left her lips when she realized what she was watching and screamed, "Draco!" as he was hit with a blue flash of light, causing him to crumble to the ground in front of the staircase.

"Daddy!," she yelled, as she pulled herself to her feet. Her eyes focused on Draco's still body. "Stop! Please stop!"

Draco was the only thing that mattered at the moment as she ran to his still body, watching her father drop his wand to the floor out of the corner of her eye. In the distance, she heard a loud thud but it didn't matter. Her focus was completely on getting to Draco and keeping her father away from him.

"Draco," she called again, her voice cracking as she ran to his prone body lying motionless. She could hear faint popping noises follow in the entryway but they didn't matter either.

Draco mattered. He was all that mattered to her at the very moment. Her focus and her eyes couldn't see past his battered unconscious form.

Falling to her knees at his head by his side, she picked up his limp upper body and cradled it to her own. Blood marred his pale features while her tears mixed with the blood as she held him to her body and rocked. Asking him to wake up. Telling him that he had to stay with her. That she needed him. She needed her knight. She needed him here to protect her. That she couldn't bear the thought of not having him in her life. He had been too large a part of it for too long.

Voices surrounded her but she couldn't make out a damn word they were saying as she whispered to him words of affection, understanding, love, hope, and trust as she held on to him – willing him to wake up as her tears fell on his face – causing the blood to run and stain his hair.

"Lizzie," a familiar soft voice broke her out of her motions. She stilled her rocking motion and opened her eyes, to find her favorite blue eyes glassy watching her. Silently pleading with her before he whispering, "We need to get him to St. Mungo's."

"Ron," she whispered. It was all she could manage to say at that very moment, unable to fight back her onslaught of tears anymore as her quiet tears had evolved into body racking sobs. She hadn't noticed how still the rest of the room had become as all eyes had fallen upon her holding Draco's body while Ron tried to reason with her as she violently wept.

"You need to let us take him," he whispered, cupping both sides of her face. Forcing her to keep looking at him, holding her head still while her body sobbed. "Please let us take him to St. Mungo's."

"I can't lose him."

"I know Lizzie, but you need to let me get him help. Please let me help him. Let me take him to St. Mungo's."

"I have to stay with him."

"You will," he whispered, stroking her face. "But you need to let me take him now. I promise you that Nott will bring you to St. Mungo's immediately if you want to come too. But you need to let go of Malfoy...You need to let him go, Lizzie."

Realizing that his hand were on her arms, she nodded her head and finally let him have his way pushing away her arms from Draco. Though she knew that Ron was right, she was still reluctant to let Draco go. She wiped her face as she watched Ron take Draco out of her lap.

"Take care of him Ron," she whispered as Theo approached her carefully. She knew she could see her own sadness reflected in his own dark eyes as they both watched Harry take Ron to her father's office to use the Floo.

"Come on Princess, we will follow them over. There's nothing here you need to worry about," he softly said offering her a hand. Taking it, she let him help her up onto her precarious feet, her heels suddenly becoming too much after the past ten minutes; making a motion to remove them, Theo stopped her.

"What?" she asked, looking up at him, confused as to why he stopped her.

"It's not safe..." he started to say but something changed in his face as his normally sharp, inquisitive features softened, cursing under his breath, he swept her into his arms and carried her towards her father's office. "Ferret is going to be fine Princess. He's always been stronger than he appears, you know that."

"That's what I'm hoping for," she whispered, burying her head into his shoulder..

Theo softly teased, "Do you honestly think he's going to let you get rid of him this easy? He's as committed to you as you are to him."

"I know. That's why I can't stand the thought of losing him."

"Then don't think about that," he replied with a no-nonsense tone, she had always associated with him. "Think about all the fire-whiskey and play toys he is going to cost you the minute we move him back into the flat. He might try to see if he can actually break your bank. There's a new Ducatti he's drooling over; thinks he can beat you in it."

"Please stop trying to make me feel better Theo," she whispered though she was secretly glad of the effort he was putting in for her sake.

"Who said I was trying to do that?" Theo replied with a short laugh. "I'm just trying to remind you he's still here. Just like you are."

Theo set her down outside of the doors to the office, "You can take your shoes off now if you would like; no glass in here."

"Where's..." her voice trailing off as she didn't know what to call him at the moment as she used Theo for balance as she removed her shoes. She knew what she wanted to call him but she also knew that no one would appreciate her doing so until the dust settled from today.

"Arthur and Bear are with him in the parlour now," he replied, wrapping his arm around her, holding her tight to his body as he escorted her to the fireplace.

"You do know that he didn't hurt me."

"That's not what it looked like Princess. It took Ron a full five minutes to get out of the morning parlour and he was only able to, once he heard you yell his name."

"But Philip didn't hurt me," she whispered, choosing the address she knew the members of the circle would want to hear at that very moment. "We were screaming at each other but I had pushed him away from me when the pain started. He didn't touch me or throw a spell at me or anything. I don't know what happened to cause everything or who started what or who even pushed me to safety first. You have to tell Arthur and Bear that. Please."

"Let's get you to St. Mungo's first."

"Promise me, you will tell them what I just told you," she pleaded, grabbing his shirt and holding to it tight. "Promise me Theo."

Letting out a deep breath, Theo sighed and nodded, "I will Princess. I promise."

"Thank you," she whispered, letting go of his shirt.

"When you step through, Potter and MacMillan will be on the other side waiting for you. Please just let them check you out. It looks like you have suffered some pretty nasty cuts."

"Will Hannah be there?"

"I don't know. But if she isn't, just ask MacMillan. I know he will send for her immediately if that is your wish."

"Thank you," she whispered. "Are you coming too?"

Theo shrugged, "Not now. I'll be by later. After I go talk to Arthur and Bear, I'm going to go ahead and go into Pendragon for a bit to review Draco and Philip's matters for the upcoming week. I'm also going to notify Percy for you telling him that you won't be in for the rest of the week due to an emergency. After all of that, then I'll stop by later to check on you and Draco and relieve Potter more than likely. "

She nodded, thankful that Theo still had his head firmly on his shoulders at the moment when she needed it the most. Grateful, she said, "Thank you Theo. For everything... By the way, do you know where mother is? I don't remember seeing her but I also wasn't paying to much attention."

"Mags is with her up in her suite at the moment trying to calm her down."

"What?" Pansy stopped walking and looked at Theo dumbfounded before repeating, "Mags is with her? Is that even safe?"

"Unbelievable I know, but it's true. Mags was the only one able to convince Persephone to retire while the rest of us sort everything out. I think she was ready to kill Philip herself. To tell you the truth, I think she might have if Andromeda hadn't been one of the first ones here. She wanted to do the job herself, I think."

"Wow," Pansy muttered. She thought it would be a cold day in hell with Hades before Mags and her mother managed to have a civil conversation.

"Evidently threatening you is enough for them to patch whatever happened between them."

"I just told you, he didn't threaten me Theo," she said as she extracted herself from Theo; feeling uncomfortable with being so close to him with the conversation taking this particular turn.

Walking quickly she grabbed the Floo powder for the mantle, taking some for herself before handing it to him, she said, "Anyway, I actually thought you knew what had happened between Mags, Bear, Daddy and Mother."

"Know what?" he asked, unable to hide a puzzled look.

"The truth."

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Oh," Pansy said quickly, staring at the fire. "You mean he's never told you."

"No," he replied, hoping she would continue but as he had no idea as to what she was talking about, he couldn't figure out a way to keep her talking until she slipped up and said what was on her mind.

They stood in front of the fireplace, silently staring at the flames together.

Realizing that she wasn't going to say anymore, Theo gave up and softly said, "Remember Potter and MacMillan are going to have you checked out and cleaned up before either will take you to Draco. Do us all a favor and don't fight them on this; I doubt they will be above going to get the Weasel if you don't cooperate."

She nodded and then whispered, "Thank you Theo. I really appreciate all you are doing now and all that you are about to do."

Pansy stood silently for a few moments and just looked at Theo before continuing, "I don't know if anyone has ever told you but I find myself needing to say this – he really did love your mum all those years ago. No one has ever doubted what he felt for her."

Theo shook his head, half in disbelief and half in wonder of how Pansy would know such a thing if his father wouldn't tell him about what had happened. "I want to believe you, you know. I just wished I could believe it, given everything she and I ended up going through when she did finally marry."

"Please believe it," she whispered painfully. "Or if nothing else than please believe me when I tell you this -- I'm sorry. It's all my fault really what happened between him and your mother."

"No it's not," he retorted with a sharp laugh, ruffling her hair. "It happened before you were even born."

"That's just it Theo," she whispered, staring at the fire, "It and everything happened only because I happened."

Pansy found herself without the courage to actually look at Theo after giving him that bit of information. Instead, she threw the powder and yelled "St. Mungo's", before disappearing into the green flames of the Floo network. Pansy knew she left a gawking Theo in her wake.

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_A/N: I'm sorry for a delay but RL has thrown me lemons and I'm struggling to make lemonade everyday. This chapter is unbeta'd at the moment but my beta and I are trying to get caught up. I hope every enjoys the answer to the nagging question as to why the Weasleys were forbidden to Pansy. I'm hard at work editing the next chapter and I hope to have it up by the end of the month._

_Please take a moment and leave me a review. I always look forward to hearing your opinions and you questions. The story is about to start moving even faster. If you need a Ron/Pansy fix before then, you may want to check out "These Days" that I have posted it here. I wrote it as a gift for another writer until the most recent lemon snagged my life._

_Special thanks and kudos to all of those who have reviewed. I feel special everytime you take the time to send me a review._

_Seraph 0:)  
_


	18. Chapter 14 Heart's Ease

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Nor do I make any money.**

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Chapter 14 – Heart's Ease

"I thought you had left," Pansy whispered, as she heard familiar footfalls as they entered Draco's private room at St. Mungo's.

Her eyes never left Draco's sleeping, peaceful face, as he entered, closing the door behind him. However, she knew it had to be Ron because he had been the only one brave enough to approach her since everything that had happened yesterday. Pansy knew that Ernie, Theo or Harry were close by on the other side of the door, each taking turns keeping guard, but no one had ventured any further since Draco had been settled into the room. They all appeared content to either let Ron handle her persistent ill temper or just leave her to her misery as she kept vigil at Draco's bedside. She had to admit it felt nice to be given distance in this situation instead of being smothered which had been the circle's mode of dealing with troubling situations for so long.

"I did," Ron told her as he drew closer to the chair in which she had curled up in. "I went to make arrangements with George to have the rest of the week off and Bill's going to help him with the books for a while so you don't have to worry about that either."

She could hear the exhaustion in his voice but he hadn't complained to her about it. Pansy was so thankful for everything he had done for her since her world had fallen apart only twenty-four hours ago. Ron had simply been there for her when she needed him the most: he held her as they waited for any news while the emergency healers saw to Draco after Ernie had cleaned her up of blood and glass; he made sure she ate the food that Hannah provided when she didn't want to though Harry had been moments away from forcing the matter; he had gotten her to change out of her blood soaked clothes without much fuss, where Hannah and Theo had failed quite loudly in their own attempts; and finally he escorted her up to Draco's room as soon as she was allowed to enter. Yet most importantly, he left her to be when he first got her into the chair she was still sitting in. Somehow Ron knew that she just needed to be with Draco by herself to start apologizing though he more than likely couldn't hear her. She hadn't moved much since he had left causing him to probably find her in the same position.

"You didn't have to do that," she said weakly, but internally she was thankful that he had. She needed him here with her.

"Yes, I did. My mind wouldn't have been at work anyway. That and I seem to be the only one you will listen to at the moment," he replied softly, gently running his fingers through her hair, pulling it off her face.

Biting her lip out of guilt, she responded, "Sorry about that."

"I've gotten use to it. Though I'm not quite sure why you do that. I mean everyone else has been a part of your life longer than I have."

"Easy really," she said with an equally soft smile on her face as she lifted it up to look at him. "Because you only see me. They all see someone else."

"Even Draco?"

"I'm more his kid sister anymore than anything else anymore," she gave a quick, hollow, sad laugh as she spoke, her eyes returning to Draco's slumbering body. Any remnant of a smile she had disappeared the minute her eyes fell on his peaceful, pale face.

She felt Ron's hair stroke her hair. Leaning into the gesture, her eyes closed accepting the simple comfort it provided. Hoping he would just stay with her – quiet as a church mouse – just as he was now leaving her to wallow in her own misery of Draco being hurt on her account. However, his voice broke the stillness of the room, "I do have some bad news though, it appears your mother is moving into the flat. Nott is too evidently since Draco is here now."

"Lovely," she moaned, closing her eyes. "The flat will officially become a zoo with mother living there as well. Why couldn't she just go to the country home?"

"She said something about wanting to stay close to you in case you needed her."

"Did you remind her she could Apparate? That it doesn't matter if she is there or in my bloody flat."

"Didn't even try," he sighed. His voice rang with the telling tales of even if he had, it would have been a lost cause and he was to tired to fight her mother too. "She was very firm in her decision. I couldn't even get a word in with her once she had made up her mind and started bustling about."

"Please tell me she hasn't also commandeered my suite while she is at it," Pansy whined, her hand reaching out for his to hold.

"No, that would be my room for Nott. She is happy with the spare bedroom next to yours for herself."

Rolling her eyes, she sighed, "Didn't you tell her that there is actually a spare bedroom on that floor and she didn't have to do that?"

"Actually, there isn't," he explained carefully, walking around and pulling her to her feet. "Draco had turned the bedroom between our two rooms into a study. Even before I moved in."

"It's my flat and I'm just now finding out," Pansy whined, leaning into Ron's body as she buried her face into his chest for the comfort she knew was there. Feeling his arms wrap around her, she took a deep breath taking him in.

"I actually thought you knew."

"No," she said with a sigh, turning her head to look at Draco. Silently, she wished that he would wake up so she could smack him with a loud what-the-fuck. She would not have cared if he turned that spare bedroom into a study. Pansy just preferred that he would ask her. It wasn't like she had denied him anything he wanted since she had learned what the circle had done to him. Hell, it wasn't like she had denied him much even before then just as she hadn't denied the others anything when they asked.

Pansy fell silent on that thought wishing desperately for him to wake up, gripping onto Ron's shirt for support as he held her. She wanted to see his smirk and hear his laugh. She needed him to tease her, to be the brother she never wanted. Feeling Ron's hand slowly combing through her hair made her realize that Ron was probably the only one who really understood how much she missed her best mate at that very moment; having almost lost his a lifetime ago.

"Did you know that there are forty-seven different ways to bind two people together between charms and potions?" Pansy softly asked, her eyes still glued to the quiet motion of Draco's breath while she held steadfastly onto her savior. "And that's not counting any family specific binding charms or potions out there."

"No I didn't," he replied pushing her back from him.

She started to fight him but stopped when she realized that she still had his hand in hers and he was merely moving to the chair she had vacated moments ago. Once Ron was in the seat, she crawled up into his lap, settling into his warmth and comfort. The two things she needed most at the moment; besides him.

"Of the common forty-seven ways, there are only five that are prohibited with four of those being illegal. Those four have to do with master/slave relationships without explicit consent from both parties; the other is a charm simply known as the Mors Bind," she whispered into his shoulder, not entirely sure if she wanted him to know about Draco's death sentence though she knew he needed to know. It was simply time after everything he had seen yesterday, she just hoped he would stay with her in the end.

"A death bind?"

"That would be it. Technically the full name of it translates into 'Oath of Death'. It is one of only a handful of spells that are only prohibited and not illegal. So you can actually cast it without repercussions though it never really made any sense me. I figure someone, somewhere put it in the same category of the Unbreakable Vow but encouraged people not to use it until it became forgotten by the general public."

Silence fell over the room as Pansy continued to look at Draco from her position in Ron's lap. His hand firmly in her own as she rubbed it with her thumb.

"Why are you telling me this?" he asked softly, with an affectionate kiss on her forehead..

"I thought I should explain to you the exact nature of mine and Draco's relationship," she whispered back; fighting back tears that were threatening to fall again as her fears that Ron would leave her began to mount. She continued with a whisper so low that she was unsure if he could hear while still not entirely sure she wanted him to hear what she was about to say, "Because you deserve to know everything; especially after yesterday."

"I don't understand," he gently responded very quietly. "I always figured that your relationship with him was no different than what Hermione and I had during Hogwarts."

"I wish it were that simple," she muttered before continuing, "Remember how I told you that he knows when I'm in trouble?"

"Yes but I thought nothing of it," he replied.

Unable to look at him, she sat up and turned her head back to focus on Draco before continuing, "The Mors Bind is one of seven protection binds. For centuries, it was primarily used by bodyguards for members of the royal family due to the severe consequences if a bodyguard should fail in his or her duty."

"What consequences?" she heard Ron's voice tenderly ask her, as he pulled her back into his body.

"If he fails to protect me then he would suffer a gruesome and painful death," she choked out as tears flooded her eyes. She buried her face into Ron's neck, clutching to him again as a lifeline.

"Lizzie," he whispered, pulling her tight against him as he kissed the top of head in comfort and affection.

Pansy appreciated the pain she could hear in his voice for he was now only one of the few living persons to know what the circle had condemned Draco to outside of them; and could understand just how strong her voluntary commitment was to him due to his involuntary commitment to her.

Taking a deep breath after her tears had passed, she was still unsure if she was doing the right thing by admitting this but continued with, "It's also the reason that I tried to sell Potter out that night at the Battle of Hogwarts."

"What?...Why?"

Pansy felt him grab her and pull her out from the security of his body so he could look at her. She kept her head ducked, ashamed of what she just admitted but his hand grabbed her chin and turn her face to look at him. She complied with the movement but kept her eyes closed, unable to look him in the face for admitting that while he had to save her best friend twice that night, she had tried to send his to his death.

She just knew she was going to loose him regardless of how she explained it so Pansy continued down her train of thought, ignoring the question Ron was really asking of her, "You see, I'm actually allowed a bodyguard of my choice once I turn twelve. My bodyguard's responsibility is to ensure my safety at all costs. The bodyguard also has the distinction that they are completely loyal to me – unable to answer to anyone else."

"To everyone's dismay and consternation, I chose Draco. We had become best of friends that first year at Hogwarts. The day I announced my choice as a Malfoy, specifically Lucius Malfoy's son, you would have thought the world had come to an end. Daddy managed to destroy the morning parlour that day in under fifteen minutes that day."

Realizing she was getting off topic, she turned towards Draco and opened her eyes to look at him, in order to quickly refocus her thoughts, "Anyway, since I refused to back down from my choice or accept who the circle thought would be a better pick, they – without my knowledge – used the Mors Bind instead of the Commilitium Bind that my family had been using for centuries. Everyone else in the circle is bound to me with that particular bind. I hate to admit it but I was there when they did the binding – I had to be. I had never seen the bonding ceremony take place before and had no idea that what they were doing that evening was not the Commilitium Bind until a few years later."

"The what bind?"

"Commilitium Bind. The person would be bound to serve the other or their descendant until their own death. Which is how I managed to have Draco's binding ceremony be my first. The circle had either been bound to my mother or my grandmother before me and once the Commilitium bind is done, you don't have to do it again."

"So how did you find out about the Mors Bind being performed on Draco?"

"Professor Dumbledore actually," she sighed, as she fought Ron who was trying to get her to look at him. She just couldn't bear the thought of those blue eyes looking at her with accusation that not only had she tried to sentence his best mate to death. She had done it to her own.

"He knew?"

"Yes but he didn't exactly tell me what had been done to Draco. I don't think he was actually allowed to. He just told me in passing one day at the beginning of fifth year that I may find the Mors Bind interesting, given my family's extensive history with the Commilitium Bind," Pansy gave a hollow laugh as the room fell silent, as her mind drifted that day to the exchange she had had with Professor Dumbledore in the hall outside of Professor Snape's classroom. It was several moments before she spoke again, continuing, "You should have seen the Slytherin common room when I realized what the circle had done to Draco. Umbridge didn't like my redecorating efforts and as a result Draco and I had to serve on the Inquisitorial Squad as punishment."

"So what does this have to do with Harry and the Battle of Hogwarts?"

"I believe Draco thought I would end up staying and fighting regardless of what I promised him, so he made me take an Unbreakable Bond – vowing to him that I would find a way out of Hogwarts before the battle began. I think he always knew that there was no way for us to survive if we both stayed. But if I got out and he stayed we both had a shot of surviving."

"So then the opportunity presented itself, and I seized it, without a second thought. I knew Professor McGonagall would never hand over Potter while at the same time, she would make sure that I was the first one out of the castle."

"Why can't you just lift the bind and release him?"

"According to every text we can find on binding spells; you can't release it once it has been placed. Very few binding spells actually can be lifted actually. We looked for a way for a few years but ended up giving up. We've settled with doing what we need to do to make sure he survives. Draco is always my main motivation to stay as safe as possible; it's the only way I have to protect him. It's funny, actually, the circle always reminds me, every chance they get, that I condemned Draco to his stars but in actuality they were the ones who condemned a child."

"I can't believe they would condemn him to death."

"They did. They didn't trust him. Even at twelve years of age."

"He was how old?"

"Twelve."

"They condemned a twelve year old to death?"

"Honestly, before you moved in with us, did you ever see him as anything but as his father's son? As Lucius Malfoy's son and not as Draco?"

"No."

Pansy attempted to move further away from Ron, in preparation for what she was going to say. She needed the space to find the courage to tell him what she was about to. Taking a deep breath, her eyes never leaving Draco, she explained, "You weren't the only one. The Malfoys have never been liked nor trusted with regards to my family's safety and well-being for centuries. Mags, Bear's wife, is barely tolerated and she comes from the French line of Malfoys."

"The night my mum died, his father had come to my family to arrange a marriage between Draco and myself. From what I've been told, no one was excited about it because the circle knew his greed was the driving force behind the request but he was still a powerful wizard and they felt they couldn't outright deny his request for an audience to present the arrangement."

"Unfortunately, my mum was accidentally killed that evening when the spell they think was meant for me ended up hitting both of us. So in their infinite wisdom as a group, especially when I seem to be involved, all but four sentenced Draco to death when I chose him. An eye for an eye sort of thing...I guess age does not imply wisdom in all cases."

"How many had a vote?"

"Technically twelve," she whispered, though wondering if it was really the best time for her to start explaining the circle. "Reality at that time, thirteen."

"So who are they?" he whispered.

"The circle? They are a group of individuals who are sworn to protect the head of my family," she started but trailed off as she struggled to gather her thoughts. Trying to figure out the best way to tell Ron just who exactly she was, now that she had revealed that not only did she have a bodyguard but twelve other individuals who had sworn on their lives to protect her existence and just exactly who his own father was.

"So they protect your father? And by extension protect you." he softly said, finally succeeding in pulling her back into his body. He wrapped his arms around her protectively, holding her tight, while Pansy fought the tears that were forming in her eyes. "That's why so many people showed up after you mother sent out what appeared to be a Welsh Green patronus."

"Not exactly," she whispered, blinking away the tears still unable to look at him as she waited for him to leave. "I am their sole and only charge. The Welsh Green is the signal to the circle that I was in trouble."

"But wouldn't your father be the head of the family?"

"Well he is the head of the Parkinson family," her voice broke as she spoke, giving her tears away. "He is just not the head of mine."

"You mean..." his voice trailed off with the unspoken question that came with the obvious realization of what she had told him.

"Just like I call Persephone my mother, I call Philip my father. For all intents and purposes, the night my mum died, I became an orphan."

"What happened to your father?"

"I was born as a result of an affair," Pansy bit her lower lip as she thought about the rest of her answer. "Unfortunately, my father could never be acknowledged as my father; partly due to the circumstances of my birth but because of the consequences of it too. However, Philip was my mother's bodyguard and Persephone, her best friend and my nanny; so upon her death, they took on the responsibility for my care and well-being. Just as Persephone has become my mother in all sense of the word – Philip is my father."

"Even after yesterday?"

"Like I've told everyone since it happened," she sighed exasperated. "He didn't hurt me. Everything just happened so fast without anyone stopping. Both my father and Draco have this horrible tendency to react without thinking when I'm involved. Especially towards each other anymore."

"That's it," Ron asked roughly, grabbing her face and finally forcing her to look at him. "You basically forgive him while your best mate is lying unconscious over there?"

"What do you want me to do? The world isn't black and white, Ron," she snapped, pulling his hand away from her face. "Forsake the man who gave up everything for me: the woman who he loved and who loved him; their son; and the life he could have had if I hadn't been born. If only my mum hadn't had an affair."

Her anger flashing in defense of the man she considered her father, she continued, "Last week I asked him to stop acting like my father and just be him. I wanted and still do want him to start simply being my father," her tears making a quiet reappearance in her anger. "But not minutes later, I also asked him to let me go. Ron, I asked him to let me – Lizzie – go. The one he gave up everything for all those years ago; the woman who would have been his wife and his son. I belittled all the sacrifices he made all those years ago out of childish petulance."

Pausing to wipe away the tears, "So yes, I forgive him."

Ron fell silent as he pulled her into him. Her anger and exhaustion having taken away most of her fight, she ended up burying her face into his neck when her body came back in contact with his. Tears still rolling down her face. She felt his arms wrap around her as she reveled in the simple comfort being held by him brought her. She knew he probably would never truly understand her motivations of her forgiveness but for the first time she realized that that was okay. That there were actions she would take that would never be understood by anyone other than her.

"Is Draco going to be okay?" Ron asked after her tears had dissolved into hiccups.

Her voice cracked with tears as she said, "It's a wait and see game until he wakes up. Daddy gave them every spell he could remember casting but no one is sure what exactly hit him or if his current state is a result of any combination of those spells hitting him."

She desperately wanted to change to conversation, not wanting to think of the possibility of her father being responsible for Draco's death if he should die and asked, "Did you get everything moved into my suite?"

"Actually with everything going on, I figured, I would just move back to..."

"Where are you going?" she interrupted, sitting up in his lap, the remnants of her tears instantly gone as she stared at him. She had expected him to leave her not to stay and then tell her he was moving out. She couldn't lose Ron, not while Draco was lying unconscious in a hospital bed because of her – because she chose both of them over her obligations to the circle and her family.

"If you would let me finish first before you say anything – I figured I would move back in Grimmauld Place. I've already spoken to Harry and he is okay with it. It's not permanent. Just for a while until everything settles down."

"Please don't," she begged grabbing his shirt in her hands. She hated how desperate she sounded at the moment but she couldn't stifle the helplessness she was suddenly feeling. "Please, I can't bear the thought of not having both of you at the flat."

"Like I said it's not permanent and you will still see me everyday. I'm just going to be sleeping at Grimmauld for the time being," he sighed. Hearing his voice, she could tell he was loosing his battle with exhaustion and guilt started to eat at her, knowing she was the cause of his exhaustion.

"Please just move your things into my suite," she rushed, grasping at the opportunity before it slipped away, though she knew it was the wrong thing to do. "There's room in the closet and I won't say a word about Cannons posters. I'd been meaning to say something to you but hadn't had a chance."

"Lizzie," he sighed closing his eyes, leaning his head back.

Her guilt finally overcame her as she looked at him as she let go of his shirt. The exhaustion and his troubled thoughts etched onto his face. He had always done whatever she had asked of him and now she was acting like a spoil brat – demanding him to give in to her again. To do what she wanted. What was best for her and not for him. She had forgotten about him and what he may need in all of this.

_I guess is what everyone keeps saying about me needing to stand on my own two feet, _she sighed to herself pushing herself up from his body.

Not liking the desperate feeling she was trying hard to subdue internally as she came to terms with the fact she was going to have to let him go, if that is what he wanted. She couldn't honestly expect him to stay – not after everything that had happened or been said in the past twenty-four hours. He deserved better than to contend with the drama of her life. Pansy was going to have to let Ron go and learn to be content with what she had; instead of dreaming of the heavens which she knew she had started doing since he found his way into her life.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be a brat about it," she whispered, standing up from the chair. Ron tried to take her hand but she kept out of his hands reach. Her resolve to let him go wouldn't hold if she felt his hand upon her. "It's not my call if you move back into Grimmauld Place or not."

"Stop," he responded sharply. He used her surprise at his tone to capture her hand, "It's not that"

"I don't understand," she whispered, trying to beat down the hope that was starting to fill her insides.

"Do you ever think we moved into this too fast?"

"No," she said confused, trying to pull her hand away from him again. But he wouldn't let go. "I would be lying if I didn't say that the speed in which we moved from friends to lovers is disconcerting when I stop to think about it. But when I look back I never feel that everything was moving too fast."

"I didn't think so either until yesterday," he responded, trying to pull her back into his lap but she wouldn't capitulate. Instead, she dug her heels in and tried to free her hand. "But then I realized that for the past few weeks we have truly been living in our own little world. Away from any judgment or criticism from our friends and families. Now I'm just wondering if your father's reaction is going to be the norm and not your mother's. And are we going to be able to handle the fallout because we moved too fast."

Pansy hated that he was right. That the little world of solace, comfort and peace they had built with each other was effectively gone the moment everyone started to find out. After everything the two of them had been through individually, she couldn't understand why people wouldn't beget them this piece of happiness even if it was unexpected by all parties involved.

"What did Harry say when you told him?" she whispered, wondering if Harry's reaction had added to his doubts. She wouldn't be surprised if it had as it had taken her and Harry several vocal arguments to come to an agreement to co-exist peacefully before a friendship developed. Somehow though, she was afraid that their friendship wasn't enough for her to be good enough for his best mate. Her tears started again as she knew it her piece of happiness was gone forever.

"I actually didn't say anything. He just said, 'You and the Princess huh?'" he shrugged, trying to grab his hand again.

"That's it?" her eyes widened with surprise. She hadn't expected that to be Harry's reaction to her dating Ron. In her surprise, Ron grabbed her hand and stood moving closer to her.

Ron's thumb started to wipe away the few tears that were escaping her eyes, "When I told him yes, he just told me to be careful and take it slow that we had a long road in front of us. He also said something about me being patient with you as this will be harder on you than me."

"So he's okay with us being together?" She couldn't hide the hope in her voice that maybe Ron wasn't going to end their relationship after all.

"Well he's not exactly happy but I can't imagine that Draco was happy when he found out about me."

"Actually he was concerned about what would happen to me and to you if we should get into a relationship," she reluctantly told him, wondering how the bloody hell he managed to ask every question that would result in her answering with something that would certainly cause him to leave her.

"He anticipated the fall out?" Ron's voice incredulous.

"No," Pansy whispered pulling away from Ron and moved towards Draco's bedside; knowing it was time to admit the source of Draco's concerns – whether she wanted to or not. She took a seat on the bed next to Draco, taking his hand in hers. Knowing it would be easier for her to say what she needed to say if she put some physical distance between her and Ron. If she didn't, she knew she would probably sacrifice her dignity, throwing herself at him and begging him not to leave her since him leaving her had taken on the most painful route – slowly and inevitable.

Her back was to Ron when she finally admitted, "He anticipated you getting hurt in the end...by me." Pansy knew her mouth formed those last two words, she just didn't think her voice allowed them to be actually spoken. So she was now completely unsure if Ron heard just exactly what she said because she couldn't bring herself to look at him.

"Some best mate you have," he said with a hollow laugh. "Why did he think that?"

"The night my mum died. While she was trying to get me away from Lucius, he managed to hit us with the same spell. The spell that killed her to be exact," her voice strained to speak the awful truth of the night that changed her life forever, by setting it in stone, as she lovingly brushed Draco's bangs back from his pale face before letting her fingers trail down his angular features in a thoughtful reverence.

"How come..." she heard his voice start but trail off.

She quietly finished, "The spell is only known to be fatal in two cases: if the victim is fated for a person already bonded to another or if the victim was bonded to someone who is deceased. All Malfoy spouses are subjected to it; take a good look at Narcissa's eyes the next time you see her, you will probably recognize the colour."

"Anyway, Lucius sought to use it as a weapon to get what he wanted, to create a link between me and Draco where there hadn't been one since my mum had already announced I had found my fated one."

"I don't understand," he responded. Pansy cringed at the hollowness and confusion in his voice. "What does this have to do with why your best mate would be more worried about me than you in our relationship?"

She sadly sighed, her hand rubbing the back of Draco's for comfort, before continuing, "In the fall out, they decided to hide me in plain sight while still locking me away to protect me from the Malfoy spousal bind enacting."

"Lizzie," he said exasperated. "Would you please stop talking in riddles?"

"I lied about why you and your brothers where banned. I didn't mean to. With everything I found with being with you, I had forgotten the reason behind the ban," her voice broke knowing that her coffin was about be nailed shut. "My father and I were fighting about that yesterday – before everything went to hell and the hand basket. Then he reminded me why the ban had been put in place and I wanted to die to on the spot because I couldn't believe I had forgotten that particular reason or even come up with it on my own. You and your brothers were banned from me for one reason and only one reason alone," she whispered, turning her body around so he could see the the most recent batch of tears fill her eyes.

"Weasleys only make love matches."

"Something I'm entirely incapable of doing," she choked out. "Their solution to protect me was to prevent the spell from enacting by preventing me from...they stopped me from being able to...," Pansy couldn't bring herself to say that one word, so she took the easy way out. "Well, they used the Heartsease Curse and they can't lift it. I can't do a marriage bonding ceremony, let alone the Weasley bonding ceremony. They always hoped that I would find someone who made me happy who would ask for a spousal bind and not a marriage bind, like most pure-blood families."

She watched as his eyes just looked at her, his mouth opening and closing but not a sound coming out.

"I'm so sorry Ron," she whispered. "I didn't mean to mis..."

"And they call you Pansy?" he asked incredulously, cutting you off.

"Hidden in plain sight," she struggled to say as her voice kept cracking as she forced herself not to run towards him..

"You let them call you that Lizzie?" his voice growing louder and angrier. "You let them remind you of what they took away from you every time they say your _name_."

She nodded in reply, biting her lip. There was no way she could actually lend her voice to those words.

Through her glassy eyes, she watched as he stormed out of Draco's room. She laid down next to Draco and cried into his still body, wishing he would wake up. She needed her best mate now more than ever.

It wasn't long after Ron left that Harry entered the room. His face frozen in amazement as he moved towards where she laid curled up next to Draco.

"You told him," he asked, running his hand through his hair. "You actually told him."

"I had to," she sobbed, clinging to Draco's hospital gown. "He deserves to know that I can't give him what he wants. That I can never be what he wants. What he deserves."

Harry was silent so she continued, "I did the right thing, didn't I Harry? I needed to let him go because he could never really be mine right?" Taking a deep breath between her sobs she continued, "I should have listened to Draco because he was right. I just couldn't. I couldn't bring myself too. I swore that I would take what ever time I could have with him but I don't want him to leave Harry. I want him to stay with me."

"No one expected you to do what you just did. Not even Arthur," Harry replied softly.

"No one has any faith in me, do they?"

"I wouldn't say that," he replied, pulling her up to her feet. "The old guard is just worried about you having to experience anymore heart ache than you have already had to. Sometimes I think they forget you aren't a little girl anymore."

"The rest of us – well, we just want you happy, no matter who or what makes you happy. I'm just sorry that we just can't leave the two of you alone to be."

"Why not?"

"You really care about him don't you?"

Pansy nodded her head unable to form any words as she fought back the next wave of her tears.

Harry looked at her with a pensive look on his face as he wiped the tears from her face before saying, "I'm thinking that you should let Nott take you home and get some sleep in your own bed tonight. While you do that, I'll go talk to Ron. McMillan can keep an eye on Draco here before Andromeda arrives for her shift."

"You will do that?" she whispered, her tears suddenly drying up. "You will go after him. For me?"

"Well, he needs his mate now but if just happens to work for to your advantage, then so be it."

"You know, I always thought that him and Hermione belonged together but you make him happier than she ever did. I just want my best mate happy in the end after all he's been through for me– even if it is with a princess," he said with a smile, tweaking her nose playfully. "But first you have to go home with Nott and let him and your mother take care of you. No exceptions. Promise?"

"Promise," she softly smiled as Harry placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Yeah right," he laughed. "Please just let them have their way – this one time. Okay?"

"I'll behave."

"I'll believe it when Nott tells me," he laughed pulling her out the door with him before handing her off to Nott. "She's agreed to go home and get some sleep in her own bed."

"How did you do it?" Nott said, handing Pansy a cloak. "I've spent most of the day trying to get her to capitulate to the same thing."

"Because he's more manipulative than you," she replied, slipping on the cloak. "He should have been in Slytherin."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Nott asked doing the button on her cloak.

"He promised to go and talk to Ron on the condition that I go home and let you and mother take care of me."

Theo silently stared at Harry before pulling Pansy into a hug. Turning to Harry, he said, "Thank you. Let me know if you need anything. Come on, Princess. Let's get you home and to bed."

Pansy just nodded. She didn't fight Theo as he picked her up and Apparated to her bedroom. Only because she managed to finally fall asleep, dreaming of Ron before he even got her into bed.

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_A/N: Due to all the confused messages and reviews I read and responded too, I busted my butt today and got Chapter 14 ready and up. I seriously doubt Chapter 15 will be ready by the end of the month but I will do my best. Chapter 14 is un-beta'd as my beta just got released from the hospital (in time to go see Harry Potter tonight she tells me)._

_I'm sorry if the last chapter left any of you frustrated or confused as it was never my intention. To those who left me reviews, thank you for doing so; I know from experience it's hard to leave critical reviews. I do appreciate you taking the time to leave me your thoughts, questions, and concerns. Please let me know how you feel about this chapter too.  
_

_Seraph 0:)  
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	19. Chapter 15 The Trinity

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor do I make any money.**

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Chapter 15 – The Trinity

When she started planning her escape from her new bodyguards' attentions, Pansy had figured it would take longer than two days for her to give them the slip in order to go see her father. However, Draco ended up providing the cover unexpectedly by regaining consciousness violently and proceeded to destroy the room. While everyone else became occupied with getting him back under control, she quickly slipped away to the Floo Network on the ground floor and quietly called, "The Office at the Lair."

Stepping out of the Floo, the first thing she saw was her father laying on the couch, a bottle and glass full of fire-whiskey nearby on the floor as he stared at the picture he was holding. She noticed that though his face was sadden it was also full of awe while he ran his fingers over the picture. Pansy recognized the frame; it was the same picture that had sat on his desk for most of her life.

"Daddy?" She gently called out to him in an attempt to not startle him.

"I'm surprised you still call me that after what happened. I figured I was permanently relegated to Philip after Sunday. That's even if you were still on speaking terms with me," he said off-handedly, his eyes still fixed on picture in his hand; his fingers tracing the image – her image. "Your bodyguards actually let you see me?"

She gave out a laugh and shook her head as she replied, "Of course not. I gave them the slip."

"That's my girl."

"Granted neither one are used to my tricks and it is pretty late, so it really didn't take much skill this time."

Silence fell over the room as her father kept looking at the picture in his hand. Grabbing a chair, she pulled it over towards him. After sitting down, she curled up into it and wrapped her arms around her legs while resting her chin on her folded knees.

She patiently waited for him to say anything while she silently watched him. Pansy wanted to ask what was the big deal about the picture but she knew not to when he was this introspective. Anyway, it wasn't like he was going to say anything about the picture other than 'remember' and she wasn't in the mood to play mind games with him tonight.

"How's Draco?" her father asked quietly, his eyes still locked on the photo.

"He started regaining consciousness about twenty minutes ago," she responded, still clutching her knees. "It's actually how I was able to give them the slip as they've taken Arthur's orders a bit to the extreme. Theo and Harry ordered me outside when Draco became violent – they just didn't specify the outside."

"So you decided to come and see the man who is being accused of almost killing your best mate and hurting you in the process?"

"You may have hurt Draco Daddy, but you didn't hurt me," she had started but her father's raised eyebrow changed the direction of her comment. "Okay, maybe you did hurt me but you didn't lay a hand on me which is what they thought you did."

"Anyway, it's not like we haven't been doing our damnedest to hurt each other every chance we get lately. Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, what happened Sunday was inevitable. Draco just had the misfortune to jump in between us this time while misreading the whole situation."

Her father didn't say a word as she watched him finally put the picture down on the floor. Sitting up, he rested his arms on his legs and sadly asked, "So how did we get here?""

"I've been wondering the same thing Daddy. Nothing has been the same since Christmas."

"From what I have been told, isn't that about the same time you became friendly with Ron?"

"Daddy, leave him out of this. This is strictly between you and me."

"And I'm not suggesting it was a cause. I'm just suggesting that it has been a factor."

Pansy shook her head in reaction to her father's assumption before speaking, "It was actually more a factor in me avoiding you Daddy, not me goading you. Just so you know, Ron and I only started dating maybe a week or so before you saw him at the Cannon's game. Before that, we were simply friends as e was still involved with Hermione Granger at that point."

"I didn't have much faith in you not to badly, so I didn't say anything and made Draco promise not to either."

"And sadly I'll admit that was a fair assumption on your part," her father sighed. "I probably would have locked you away in the country home in an attempt to protect both of you from each other."

"I know you want to protect me Daddy and I appreciate what you and the others do but you do have to let me live."

"So can I know how long Draco's known about this?"

"I don't know," she admitted, shrugging her shoulders. "He called me on it about a week after the New Year but he acted like he was well aware of me hanging out with Ron even by then."

The opening of the office doors caused both of them to jump with Philip rising to his feet, putting himself between the door and Pansy, his wand pointed at the doors. Pansy curled even further back into the chair. Trying to decide if she could safely Apparate in the position she was in.

"Put your wand down Philip. I just came to visit without everyone else around. Merlin knows we won't get anything accomplished with everyone talking at once." Arthur Weasley's voice filled the office. "I was wondering how long it would take you to come here. Tell you you can come here and you don't; tell you you can't, and here you are Lizzie," he laughed as he continued, "Don't bother hiding from me."

"How?" she asked, standing up from the chair to watch him close the door behind him and move towards her and her father.

Arthur shook his head at her and with a chuckle, "I may be absent-minded but I'm not an idiot."

"I didn't mean to imply..."

"I know," he said. "Just reminding you in case you had forgotten. It's been a while since I was actively involved in your life."

"I guess that means you are in charge now."

"Just until a few people calm down," he replied.

Pansy just raised her eyebrow to look at him. They all knew that there wasn't multiple people involved at this point.

Arthur just laughed, "Okay, just waiting on Andromeda to calm down. Everyone else knows management really isn't my thing. Your father is much better at it."

Pansy softly smiled and teased, "I always knew you preferred the role of spy."

"No I just prefer to be constantly and consistently underrated. It's amazing what people will say and do around you when they mistake you for a fool. Anyway, you know, if you really wanted to see your father so badly, you should have just said something to me. Not even Bear would stop you if you wanted to be here."

"Oh," she replied, feeling quite silly because she knew he was right. She had just operated on the assumption that the circle was going to keep her away from him because of what had happened. "I just assumed."

"You always do," her father spoke up. "You always assume the worse in us these days. Granted we don't seem able to give you any other option."

"For whatever reason, you seem to be the only one who we screw up with regularly," Arthur added. "It's funny if you think about it, the one that matters the most to all of us is the one we have the greatest tendency to fail."

"Well I never believed that any of you failed me," she replied, as she shook her head with a soft smile. "I'm safe and alive which is better than anyone hoped for after mum died."

"But it's your happiness," her father replied, as she sat back down in her chair. "That's where we seem to always go wrong with you. We always seem to take that away from you first, trying to protect you."

She sighed and conceded, "Only because you kept interfering in my choices and decisions. You have to let me grow up on my own. You can't protect me forever from everything."

The room fell silent as the three looked at each other, knowing that she had a point. That they had taken their responsibilities of protecting her to such a degree that one could safely argue that they had prevented her from maturing into the woman they wanted her to be.

"May I ask how Ron is doing?" she asked quietly, looking at Arthur as she broke the heavy silence. She felt her father's eyes fall immediately on her before he shot a look to Arthur that appeared knowing and moved to retrieve more glasses from the bar.

Pansy hadn't seen Ron since he walked out of the hospital room three days ago. Harry had gone and tried to talk to him a couple of times, but told her that Ron refused to talk about anything with him; that he just asked for everyone to leave him alone while he sorts everything out. In desperation, she had suggested that maybe she should go and talk to him but Harry and Theo asked her to keep her distance for a bit, to respect Ron's wishes on this matter. They told her she owed him that, after all she had put him through – again.

Arthur didn't answer her question, instead he took a seat on the couch with a sad and soft smile. He noticed the photo on the ground and picked it up. Looking at the picture, he chuckled as he said, "I'd forgotten how blonde you were as a child."

Suddenly shock filled his face as he looked at the picture as he started to trace her image. She could have sworn in his awe, he muttered, "Oh my gods. She was right," breathlessly but she wasn't sure as he quickly shook off his surprised.

With a quick and forced laugh, he remarked out loud, not meeting Pansy's eyes, "Philip, where did you find this picture?"

"Would you believe it's been on my desk for years Arthur," he replied, returning to where Arthur and Pansy were.

"I'm surprised," Arthur said, his face full of sadness, concern and realization. She thought it eerily similar to the same look her father had had on his face when she stepped into his office moments ago.

However, she didn't understand what was going on between the two men. She kept darting her eyes from one to the other for any clue as to what they were silently discussing through looks and gestures but always coming back to the picture.

As far as she was concerned, there was nothing special about that picture. It was just a picture of her at her last birthday before her mum died. She couldn't remember anything particular or spectacular about that birthday party. Just her and the circle and their families. In fact most of her recollections of that day were more hazy and dream-like. It had become just another day in which time had stolen her memories.

Handing Arthur a glass of fire-whiskey, Philip gave a short laugh before saying, "I know. I'd actually had forgotten what had happened before that picture was taken until moments ago. I just always liked it because she looked so happy. Looked like the little girl I remember those last months before Gwenny died."

"How did we miss it?" Arthur asked before sipping on his fire-whiskey.

"I have no idea but at least we weren't the only ones. The entire circle was there that day," Philip answered with a laugh, handing Pansy her own drink.

"But Gwenny, she knew," Arthur replied. "She just kept trying to tell us."

Philip laughed as he said, "And what did we tell her?"

"That she was imagining things. We weren't very observant then were we? Do you think Draco knows?"

"Of course he does – he has too. It's the only explanation for his behaviour lately. Don't worry Lizzie," Philip spoke before she had a chance to ask. " You will figure it out in good time."

"How about you tell me now and save me the grief?" she sassed back, feeling put out by being talked about while she was in the room. She didn't expect them to tell her anything by their vague conversation, but she figured it was still worth a try.

Arthur just laughed and teased, "That would be allowing you to take the easy road on this and you keep telling us all lately that we need to let you live. So consider this our first step in letting you live without our interference."

"Now you listen to me," she whined causing both men to laugh. "That's not fair. You can't pick and choose when you do."

"Of course it's not fair," Arthur told her. "But consider this to be good practice for you – for you aren't alone in this journey."

"Fine," she huffed. "But can I let it be known that I don't like you two very much anymore."

"I'm your father, you aren't suppose to like me," Philip joked back causing Pansy to laugh. She had forgotten how much she missed this easy report she had had with him. Though she wished that Sunday had never happened, in a twisted way she was almost glad it had. Draco getting seriously hurt appeared to have been the spark for her and her father to get past the hurt and anger they had been throwing at each other the past few months.

"Dammit Lizzie!" Theo's voice echoed through the office.

With a smirk on her face, she just looked at her father and Arthur and said, "Looks like I've been caught," before taking a sip of her drink nonchalantly.

"You used to be better at this," Arthur teased. "I know you lost me for two days one time and you where what? Eight?"

She laughed, "I thought I was. I've only been here for what Daddy – ten minutes?"

"Didn't Harry and I tell you to wait for us outside?" Theo yelled, his frustration and stress evident in his voice.

Rolling her eyes she sighed, "Yes but you just didn't specify the 'outside'. And I'm clearly outside Draco's room."

"Fa – Philip. Arthur. Do something," he retorted gesturing to her.

Pansy's smile just grew as she watched the two men look at each other and have yet another wordless conversation before Arthur turned to Theo. Very carefully, after taking a sip of his drink, Arthur smirked, "Well I seem to remember the lot of you thinking that Draco's role was the easiest in the circle but it's not so easy is it?"

"It is the easiest," Theo snapped. "Especially since he's got an advantage the rest of us don't have."

Pansy turned to look at Theo not entirely sure what he was talking about. Draco didn't have an advantage that she knew about with regards to their binds to her. From everything she could find, protection binds all worked the same; it was just the consequences in response to failure that were different.

Looking at him confused, she asked, "What are you talking about Theo? He doesn't have anything that you don't have when it comes to the bind."

"Yes he does Princess," Theo hissed, glaring at her with his eyes narrowing. "He always has had this advantage even since we were all in school together. You will do anything to make sure nothing happens to him, unlike the rest of..."

Theo didn't have a chance to finish his sentence before Pansy had leapt from her chair, took a few quick strides toward him and brought an end to his words with a stinging slap across his face. Her anger exploded from her body causing Theo to fall to his knees after her hand had connected.

"Do NOT speak of what you don't understand," she yelled at him, tapping her foot as she bent over – her face inches from his. "You know nothing about the choices that were made before you were brought in. How dare you accuse me of belittling the allegiance and sacrifices that EACH one of you make on my accord. Draco may have a greater hold on my heart than anyone else but it is only because his sacrifice to ensure my life will be greater than anyone else should he fail."

Pansy stared at Theo kneeling before her, his eyes wide with shock as he struggled to hide the pain she knew he was feeling. Breathing hard, she tried to decide what she wanted to do next. She wanted to make sure that he understood the gravity of her words and that he wouldn't challenge her regarding her relationship with Draco ever again.

"Lizzie," she heard Arthur's voice from behind her quietly. "I think that's enough."

"Well I don't," she snapped, her eyes still focused on Theo's as she saw fear flutter through them. "He needs to understand. He needs to be taught."

"Lizzie. Enough." Her father's voice firm and constant as he laid his hand on her shoulder. She knew, at that very moment, she had crossed a line.

"Yes sir," she responded as she backed away from Theo. She watched him as he collapsed onto the floor, gasping for breath.

"Go straight home Lizzie," Arthur told her, as they lifted Theo up into their arms.

She nodded in agreement biting her lip. Before turning to leave as told, she asked, "Would you like me to send Mother back?"

"Only if she is willing," her father replied, as Philip and Arthur moved to exit the door. She didn't turn around until she realized that Theo had become unconscious in their arms.

Suddenly feeling sick to her stomach, she grabbed the Floo powder from the mantel. Calling out "Haven", she stepped through the Floo and into her bedroom.

As soon as her feet reached the floor in her bedroom, she took off running for her mother. Pansy didn't have to go far, as she found her in the bedroom she had claimed for herself while she waited for her father to beg for her forgiveness.

"Mother," Pansy softly gasped, trying to hold back the tears that were starting to form in her eyes as her mind slowly realized how far she had actually overstepped her bounds with Theo.

"Lizzie. What is it?" her mother asked, shooting off the bed when she saw Pansy come rushing into the room. "Is Draco okay?"

"He's fine," she found herself struggling to say what she needed to because words made what she had done even more real. "It's Theo actually."

"What's happened?" Pansy could hear her mother's panic in her voice as she grabbed Pansy's arms.

"I think...Well I know..." she stopped and started trying to figure out what exactly she was going to say. Finally she settled on the simple truth, "Mother, he angered me and I hurt him."

"Oh, Lizzie," her mother cried out, wrapping Pansy in her arms. Pushing her back to look at her, she said, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she replied guiltily. Softly she admitted, "Theo's not. Mother, Arthur and Daddy had to call me off."

"Dear Merlin," she whispered, pulling her back into her arms. "Where did your father and Arthur take him?"

"They are at the Lair. I think they were taking them to the medical facilities there," Pansy replied, assuming that's where they would take him. "I asked Daddy if I should send you and..."

"Don't worry about him love," her mother whispered, kissing her on her forehead. "Arthur and your father wouldn't let you hurt him too bad."

Pansy didn't have chance to say anything in return before her mother kissed her again and Apparated out of her room.

Hanging her head in guilt, Pansy turned to return to her room. Taking a seat on the end of her bed, she realized for the first time since she had purchased the flat, she was truly home by herself, alone, unguarded for an undisclosed period of time. She thought it was what she had always wanted and now that the moment was here, she found herself hating it.

Laying down at the end of the bed, she curled up into a small ball and stared at the flames in her fireplace. Pansy knew that she had to punish Theo earlier and she was completely in the right about doing so but the reality of what she had done – crossing the line between punishment and cruelty started to really weigh on her as she struggled to fight back the tears.

It didn't take long as her tears evolved into sobs and her sobs gave way to exhaustion as the blackness of sleep enveloped her without her knowledge.

"Lizzie."

She could here her name being called out but she couldn't see anything in the blackness.

Pansy could hear a voice begging her to come back to him as she struggled to leave the darkness that was enveloping her.

Suddenly a rush a warm air hit her lungs hard as her body jerked up. She felt a strong arm quickly tightened itself around pulling her tightly against a solid body before starting to rock her as she tried to catch her breath. She struggled to open her eyes to see who was holding her and offering comfort because she was so sure she would be on her until at least the morning.

Her eyes struggled to focus as her mind fought through the haze to see who her savior was this night.

"Shh. It's going to be okay, Lizzie," Ron's voice softly whispered into her ear as the haze she had found herself in finally start to lift.

"Ron!" she sobbed burying herself into his warm embrace further, so thankful he was there.

_He's here!_ Her mind screamed as she sat up right in his embrace, her tears suddenly gone.

"You're here," she whispered, reaching out to his face to ensure she wasn't dreaming or he wasn't a figment of her imagination. "You are really here."

Kissing her gently on her forehead, "Of course I'm here. Where else would I be?"

"I don't know," she replied, her fingers following the line of his jaw. "I didn't think you want to be with me anymore."

"What would ever give you that opinion?" his voice sounded incredulous. Pansy found herself trying to press down the hope that was building inside her that maybe he wasn't going to leave her after all.

"You've been gone for three days," she started. "I wanted to come after you but Harry and Theo said to leave you be until you were ready. That I had already put you through enough as it was."

"Well that explains that," he remarked, pulling her back into his body with her safely protected in his arms.

"Explains what?" she muttered, running her fingers along his chest.

"I actually told Harry to tell you where I was, in case you needed me, but that I wanted for _him_ and everyone else involved to leave me alone until I could sort everything out in my mind."

"Oh."

"I couldn't believe you didn't come and see me that first evening. That suddenly you didn't need me which made me mad. After having a bit too much to drink, I decided to come here to tell you that you weren't getting rid of me that easy, that you weren't going to give up on us this easily. But when I came through the Floo you were already asleep in your bed and you looked so peaceful even though I could tell you had cried yourself to sleep. I just couldn't bear the thought of waking you so I've been coming here every night to stay with you and make sure you were okay while I waited for you to come to me."

"Ron, I'm not giving up on us. It never crossed my mind, I just thought that everything may be too much for you which I can understand," she whispered, leaning in to kiss him gently on the lips – thinking about how wonderful a man she had found. "What I don't understand is why did you want to avoid Harry? He's your best mate."

"Because of you," he whispered. "Of all the things you have told me, knowing that they hit you with a Heartsease Curse while calling you Pansy... well, it made me so angry. And knowing my best mate was involved in the group that did that too you just seemed to make it worse at the time. I needed to avoid everyone I thought was involved so I wouldn't lash out at them while I came to terms with what they had condemned you too."

Painfully she whispered, "Does it bother you that much – the Heartsease Curse."

"Yes it bothers me," he replied, caressing her face. "It bothers me that they used it on you and then flaunt it in your face."

"But what about being with me? Now that you know."

"There was never a question about that. In fact, I've never thought twice about it and us as a couple," he whispered. "I mean, I'm here, aren't I?"

She nodded, tears of joy welling up in her eyes as her heart leapt for joy. She hadn't lost him. After everything, he was still here and he was still hers. She would give anything to give him everything he would ever want.

"One thing you need to know though Lizzie, don't ever plan on hearing me call you Pansy again – unless I absolutely have too."

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_A/N: I have made the decision to keep putting up these chapters un-betaed as my beta is still suffering from a lengthy illness. As she and I get back into a groove, I'll update existing chapters as we edit them. I'm going to try and get back on my old schedule of updating this story every week.  
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_Thanks to everyone who took the time to send me a review. I appreciate it. Your reviews let me know how I'm doing which is fabulous.  
_

_Seraph 0:)  
_


	20. Chapter 16 The Rooster Crows

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Nor do I make any money.**

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**Chapter 16 – The Rooster Crows

Frantically, Pansy was trying to get her lab cleaned since her boss, Percy Weasley, had made it his own personal lab during her time off. She had been called into the Ministry during her time off for an unexpected meeting. Pansy hadn't taken one step into her lab before a very heated argument began between her and Percy about just whose lab it was. There was no doubt in her mind that she had won the argument. Though she had a feeling that her pulling the Kingsley card had more to do with it then Percy admitting that he was actually in the wrong for taking over her lab in her absence, regardless of the abysmal condition she found it in.

Harry and someone from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement where suppose to meet her in her lab to discuss her findings in the continued investigation of the re-emergence of the Walpurgis Knights. She was still hoping that she would be able to stay discretely within the background as the investigation progressed. Granted those hopes weren't very high since she had been the only potion master, employed by the Ministry, to be able to identify even the fairly elementary, though rare, potions that the Aurors kept finding in their raids. Much to her chagrin, she had become the Aurors go-to potion master with all raids associated with Walpurgis Knights investigation, much to Percy's displeasure.

She was in the process of pulling the files she would need for the meeting when she heard the door to her lab open. Pansy quickly, stacked her files together and lifted her head to see who had entered.

Pansy, by some miracle, was able to suppress the desire to groan and roll her eyes when she recognized just who the MLE sent with Potter – bushy haired, no nonsense, stick-in-the-mud Hermione Granger. Pansy briefly wondered how much work Granger actually put into being so off-putting with her appearance. She couldn't understand why anyone would wear such an ill-fitting, matronly suit and have her hair tied back in an even more unattractive bun; no one, in Pansy's mind could care that little about their appearance on purpose at twenty-one. Pansy reckoned that Umbridge was more attractive at the moment and she looked like a bloody frog. It blew Pansy's mind, that Granger wouldn't put in the slightest effort to her appearance, especially since she was an absolutely stunning woman when she did. Pansy wandered briefly, if casting an _Imperious_ on Granger to get her to improve her appearance, for the sake of Granger's own sex life, would be worth the risk.

Pansy knew she didn't have much room to talk as she didn't put much into her appearance when she was in her lab. However, her work was inherently messy but she did always keep a nice suit and some makeup tucked away safely, if something should come up that required her to be dressed more professionally.

"Granger. Potter," she said in clipped tones with a snide smile on her face. In fact, she did her best to use the same tones she would have used at Hogwarts. Pansy figured it would be in everyone's best interest if she acted like she had when they were in school together; though it was hard for her to do so with Harry than she expected.

"Parkinson," Harry replied in the same clipped tones, while shaking his head no from behind where Granger stood. Pansy didn't like what he was telling her but understood perfectly what he wasn't saying. "Thank you for coming in on your day off to meet with us."

"Not a problem. Thank you for agreeing to a time that was convenient for me. I do appreciate it," she replied coolly, moving away from her desk while trying to maintain an illusion of distant and cool friendliness while at the same point trying not giving away her and Harry's exact relationship in front of Granger.

"You're the potions master?" Granger finally spoke up from where she stood near the doorway. Pansy had just noticed that the woman was looking at her dumbfounded. "The one that has been key to identifying all these potions. You?"

Pansy just looked at her sarcastically and replied with a measure of fake sweetness, "Can't get anything by you can I, Granger? But then again I could have sworn my name was on all those reports you are probably carrying in your little hand right now."

"How can you be a potions master?"

"The same way as any other potion master employed by the ministry – scored highly on my NEWTS in Potions, Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures, Charms, Transfiguration, Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, and Defense Against the Dark Arts. I know that last one probably comes as a bit of a surprise to you," she replied, the last part laced with heavy sarcasm. She saw Potter shake his head furiously at her, from his position behind Granger, so she gave up and politely moved the direction of the conversation by saying, "I figured we may need space to work and spread out, so I've made sure this table is clean for us to work."

"No you didn't," Granger retorted as Harry and Pansy took seats at her large workspace in the center of the room that she had just sent a good hour cleaning.

Pansy sighed, she always hated this topic when it came up. So she chose to act like Granger was remarking about something else entirely in a vain attempt to change the direction of the conversation, when she responded, "Yes, I did Granger. Unfortunately, I found my lab in less than stellar conditions as someone had confiscated it for their own personal use in my absence. So I do apologize if it's cleanliness is not up to your standard, because I know it is certainly not up to mine."

"That's not what I meant," she snapped. Pansy could have sworn her hair got bushier, in spite of the bun it was held in, as she bustled like a rooster, "You didn't take NEWTS in all those subjects."

"I certainly did or I wouldn't have this position at the very least," she said with a forced smile on her face. Sighing, "But if you don't believe me, I'm more than happy than to give you permission to look at my educational file which has my scores. So where do we want to start? I would like to return to my day off in a reasonable time frame, if you don't mind."

"Quite understandable. I'm thinking the raid on Bartholomew's place since..." Harry started trying to keep the topic of their conversation on the task at hand.

Unfortunately, Granger did not have the same thought process, nor apparently capable of extending any courtesy towards Pansy at that moment. Her behaviour at the moment reminded Pansy of all the nasty scuttlebutt that had been flowing around the Ministry recently about Granger's contentious lack of people skills in trying to control and dictate all that she could as Granger spoke, "How could you? You weren't in our NEWT-level classes in Potions, Herbology, or Charms during sixth year."

Sighing, Pansy rolled her eyes, "Remember you don't actually have to sit in the classroom to take the exams at OWL or NEWT level. You may be the brightest witch of our generation in overall academic aptitude, Granger, but some of us aren't too shabby either – Draco and I were number 2 and 3 in academic rankings, in case you have forgotten."

"You couldn't have done that," Granger snapped at her. "They said it was against the rules."

"Look Granger. I've never been one for knowing all the rules but rest assure when I took my NEWTS in _all_ my subjects everything was on the up and up without any special treatment or consideration. My hiring on here was completely on the up and up with poor assumptions regarding my loyalties during the last war being the part most were up in arms about," Pansy said, trying to remain calm while her temper started to boil. She could tell Potter was beginning to feel it and willed herself even more to stay calm. "So can we get to the task at hand? I do need to get back to my personal responsibilities for the day."

"I thought you had today off?" Granger retorted, her eyes narrowing.

"I do," Pansy retorted, rolling her eyes, wondering if Granger was able to take a hint. "Some of us have a life outside of the Ministry Granger, which must be hard for you to comprehend. As for me, though I can't imagine why this is any of your business, my life includes a friend in St. Mungo's who just regained consciousness after almost dying. So if you don't mind, I'd really like to address what we need to for this meeting and return to St. Mungo's to be with him."

"Fine," she huffed, before taking a seat on the other side of Potter. "By the way, I will be checking your educational records...To ensure that you are the person we want on this case."

"Go right on ahead. In fact, if you want to make it easy on yourself, I'm sure Percy would be more than happy to loan you his copy if you just ask him on the way back to your office. It will probably save you some trouble with all those pesky forms."

"Why does Percy have your scores?" Potter snapped, his head spinning to look at Pansy. The look he gave her made her realize that she should have told some people about that little issue she had had with Percy. Of all things that could save her from his insufferable attitude towards her – it would be her NEWT scores.

"I imagine for the same reason, Granger here wants to check them out," she replied with a sweet, sarcastic smile glued on her face as she faced Granger. "But I would suggest checking with them for their true motivations since I'm only going on assumptions here."

"Back to the Bartholomew Raid," Granger said still huffing; clearly put out by Pansy's insinuation which put a smile on Pansy's face. "There were sixteen potions captured at the raid on Bartholomew's place on Boxing Day, correct?"

"Yes," Potter replied. "Since then all but one has been identified."

"Who did the identifications?"

"I ultimately signed off on all the identifications," Pansy responded, pulling out her notes from that assignment. "The assignment was initially given to Pierson. He had been assigned to the Aurors that week. I had been on call the day of the raid but ended up doing no work associated with the raid that day. However, the assignment was reassigned to me after Pierson acknowledged he could only identify five of the potions."

"And you have since made the identifications on the other ten?"

"Nine actually. I'm still working on the last one."

"Have you called in for assistance?" Granger asked, Pansy didn't like the light that shown in her eye.

She smiled as sweetly as possible, before saying, "The other three potion masters currently employed by the ministry as well as Professor Slughorn and my boss Percy Weasley have all made identification attempts but have not been successful. If you would like a shot, then by all means, ask Percy for permission – I'm sure he would allow you space in the common lab to work."

"What about this lab?" she responded with a sickening sweet smile on her face. "We are old classmates."

"Granger, I work for the Aurors when it is deemed necessary by the Minister. Otherwise my responsibilities are strictly to the job in which I was hired which is why I have a private lab. I'm unable to allow anyone else outside of myself to use this lab for any potions work. However, if you feel differently, then please inquire with Percy or the Minister. Remember though six very well respected potion masters have all failed," Pansy couldn't help the smirk that formed on her face. She was able to get a glimpse of Potter and saw that he had paled at some point. Maybe there was a bright side to Percy commandeering her lab for his own selfish gain while she was out of the office. Because now there was no way in Hades, he would or could get away with granting Granger her request.

"Well, I just might," she responded, her chest puffing out proudly. "As you said some say that I'm the brightest witch of our generation."

"Feel free to try," Pansy replied nonchalantly, though she had to briefly wonder where Granger's self-importance was coming from. She remembered her as an annoying, know-it-all twit but not an arrogant one to boot too. Maybe she just needed to get laid. "Now where were we?"

"The Bartholomew Raid?" Harry choked out as he fidgeted on the stool he was seated on. "You told me that of the fifteen potions that you have been able to identify were: three passion potions, two love potions, three binding potions, wolfsbane potion, three dream potions, and three strength potions. Correct?"

"Yes. Pierson was able to identify the woflsbane potion, two of the strength potions, one of the binding potions and one of the dream potions. Since that time, we have found all those potions as well as two more love potions, four forgetfulness potions, 2 nightmare potions, four types of healing draughts, two conception potions, four fertility potions, 2 more dream potions and two types of master/slave potions as well as the unidentified potion 3 more times."

"Are they all dark potions?" Granger asked her face focused on the copious notes she was taking in front of her.

"No," Pansy shook her head. "All the potions save the unidentified potion and the master/slave potions are legal while a few of them are actually taught in a NEWT level potions course. Most however are fairly obscure which is probably the reason they were chosen; it makes antidotes even harder to come by when they are applied."

"Can you speculate on what they want from them?"

"The only thing I've got is a BDSM relationship with a werewolf. Though I have no idea why one would want to embark on that choice of mate," Pansy said purposefully tongue in cheek with a smirk on her face that would make Draco proud while causing Harry to choke and Granger to turn three sheets of red. "But in the end, all I really do is just identify the potions."

"You are not being helpful Parkinson," Granger huffed, her face still red.

"Wasn't supposed to be," she retorted with a smile on her face.

"You do realize that you are more than likely going to be called to testify when this comes to trial and a stunt like that will not help our side."

"Quite aware of that Granger," Pansy snapped. She was put out by the little chit accusing her of being unable to act appropriately when called upon. "I'm more than capable of behaving myself with decorum as the occasion arises. Potter has seen me testify before and can attest to my professionalism."

"She's right Hermione," Harry finally finding his voice, having been scared speechless by the two powerful women on either side of him. Though he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt which one was definitely more powerful and more scary. "Parkinson is nothing but a professional in the courtroom. Normally, she's even one here in the privacy of her own lab, but I imagine her current behavior is due to wanting to get back to St. Mungo's to her friend. Am I correct Parkinson?"

"Yes," she said with a nod, allowing Potter to take control of the situation she was starting to manipulate, though she would have preferred him to chide that little bitch for her own inappropriate and aggressive behaviour. Instead she bit her tongue and lied, "I apologize Granger, I've been out of sorts since my friends traumatic injury."

"Apology not accepted. You should be professional all the time on Ministry business, especially on Ministry time," she snapped.

Pansy cocked her head, and smiled a smile that caused Potter to shiver, "Just as you are now and have been since you walked into my lab? Remind me not to take lessons in professionalism if you should be teaching them."

Pansy was disappointed that Granger didn't take the bait but figured it probably was for the best in the end anyway. All she needed was to get into trouble for successfully baiting the Golden Girl, even if Granger was the one being out of line.

Suddenly, Granger's eyes narrowed as she studied Pansy, before saying, "Unless that is what you want? You want the Walpurgis Knights to get off don't you? As a former Death Eater yourself?"

Potter groaned and dropped his head to the table as Pansy snapped, "I was never a Death Eater. You can check the records of the trials after the war if you don't believe me."

"But your boyfriend was and so was his whole family. Maybe this is a favor to them? To help them return to their seat of power?"

Potter started to bang his head against the table.

"You know you are just going to give yourself a headache Potter by doing that," Pansy said angrily. She wished that he would just stop before he gave the two of them away with her making him stop. "But to answer your question – no my boyfriend wasn't a Death Eater and neither was any member of his family."

Granger let out a huff as she crossed her arms, before she hissed, "Yes he was. We all saw his motivations the night of Hogwarts."

"Eloquent defense Granger. The bad news for you is that though my boyfriend fought at Hogwarts, you can rest assure he was no more a Death Eater than you or Potter here," she smiled sweetly, as Harry continued to bang his head against the table. "Potter, would you please stop that!"

Pansy had never so happy as when he finally stopped, though he left his head resting on the table.

"Thank you," she sighed. "There's headache potion in the top right drawer of my desk if you need some."

"No thank you," he muttered, the desk muffling his words even more.

"Draco Malfoy not a Death Eater?" Granger growled. "Harry saw his arm and Ron had to save his arse that night."

"Maybe I will after all," Harry sighed, moving towards the desk, before mumbling, "It may be safer over here anyway at this rate."

"Draco? I thought you were accusing my boyfriend of being a Death Eater, not Draco," Pansy asked in a sickeningly sweet voice, though her irritation was starting to burn within her. "Anyway, Draco's arm is as clear as the day he was born, in case you are curious. If you don't believe me it came out in his parents' trial, isn't that right Harry?"

"Fine. Play that game. Call Malfoy whatever you want. Fiancé. Betrothed. Whatever."

Pansy just shook her head no, and responded, "I had never realized just how pig headed you are until now. I'm sorry to disappoint you Granger, but Draco and I haven't been in a relationship since Hogwarts. Draco has been seeing Daphne Greengrass' little sister Astoria for the past 8 months while I'm doing the very un-Slytherin thing and started dating a pure blood outside of the house."

"Then why do I see you two together all the time then?" she asked.

"Kettle meet cauldron," Pansy sighed. "Probably for the same reason you are always seen with the-boy-who-lived here so much -- Draco's my best mate, just as Harry is yours."

Pansy was glad to see Granger speechless for once, but it didn't last long.

"So who are you dating then?" Granger asked.

"Rest assure though, he fought on your side during the last war."

"And what side did you fight on?"

"The one I always fight on – mine," Pansy snapped. "Now do you have any pertinent questions regarding Potter's case or can we chalk this up as a failed attempt and try again next week? After you have settled that annoying little brain of yours and researched every part of my life as best as you can, whether it applies to the Walpurgis Knights case or not."

"I think I am going to go do some research regarding your qualifications and determine if you really are the best we have to work on such an important case. As well as any other part of your life that is pertinent to this case. If we need you, we will be in contact," Hermione said with a huff gathering her items. She was out the door before she realized that Harry wasn't right behind her. She spun quickly and started tapping her foot as she growled at Harry, "Harry, are you coming?"

"In just a moment, Hermione, I need to ask Parkinson about some things on another case that Kingsley assigned her."

"Fine," she snapped, before slamming the door to the lab.

"That could have gone better," he sighed, taking a seat back at the table.

"And it could have gone a lot worse. Almost did in fact. We should be considering ourselves luckily that she didn't press too much regarding just who I'm dating," Pansy reminded him gathering up her unused notes. "She really doesn't know, does she?

"Don't look at me," he responded, his head now buried in his hands. "Ron keeps telling me that he is going to tell her but he's been avoiding her like the plague since the break up. And I don't blame him either."

"Why is that?" she asked taking a seat by him.

"I can't believe I'm going to say this but I guess you should know."

"Potter, she's your best mate, you don't have to tell me anything," Pansy responded standing beside him. She could see the battle raging in him.

"I know but I just think you should know."

"I don't need to know everything Harry. I promise."

"I won't go into details but just hear me out on this. Hermione can't believe that he broke up with her. Every time she saw him immediately after that, she either threw every nasty comment in the book at him or threw herself at him. Ginny and I told her repeatedly not to do either. We kept telling her to give him space and he would come back – just on his own terms. In fact, when he told me he broke it off with her, I thought he was crazy for letting her go at the time and told him that repeatedly."

Potter sighed before continuing, "But now that I have seen the two of you together, what little I have mind you, I've been wondering why I thought they made a good match to begin with. All they did was fight. Where as you both seem to innately tame the other without much discussion. Everything just seems – I don't know – healthier for both of you besides the fact it is obvious that you are both happy."

"Well, hopefully, he'll find a way to tell her before she finds out another way," Pansy sighed taking a seat next to Potter. "She may not be my favorite person but she deserves to hear it from him and not some third party. And certainly not from me because there is no way she would ever believe that I wasn't the reason for the break up."

"You weren't?" Potter asked incredulous. His green eyes wide as he stared at her, "When he told me we were going to the Cannon's game for his birthday and the tickets were a present – I just assumed they was from Hermione and they were working everything out. When we arrived at the stadium and I saw just where the tickets were I knew he had to have gotten them from you because there was no way Draco or your father would have given him the tickets. Suddenly a lot of questions I had regarding his behaviour at that time started to make sense as well as the break-up."

"If it helps, we didn't start dating until just days before his birthday," Pansy replied. "Anyway, he would have gotten those tickets from me as a birthday present even if we weren't dating – I mean what else do you give the quintessential Cannon's fan?"

"Really?"

"Really."

The lab fell silent momentarily before Harry spoke up, "I'm hoping that Ron does find a way to tell her because I really don't want to be around if she finds out from a third party."

"You aren't the only one," she muttered. "Hell, I don't want to be around at all."

"I just wish he would talk to me at the moment but he's not too happy with me for some reason."

"Give him time, Harry," she gently told him, rubbing his back in an attempt to provide some comfort. "He got hit with a lot a few days ago and he's just not wanting to do something rash if he should lose his temper. He is really struggling with keeping his temper in check at the moment."

"You've talked to him?" Harry snapped, his head quickly turning around to look at her. The look on his face caused her to pull her hand away from him quickly. "Theo and I asked you to leave him alone but no, you just had to be headstrong and go after him. How did you find him anyway?"

"I didn't Harry. I promise. I did exactly what you and Theo asked me to do," she softly said. "He came to me."

Harry just continued to stare at her. She saw anger, confusion, and hurt flutter through his eyes before he softly asked, "When?"

"He's stayed with me every night in the flat since you had Theo take me home. I just didn't know he was even there until two nights ago when I had a nightmare."

Harry sighed, looking at her sadly and defeated, "Could you please then say something to him? If Hermione starts digging, you know it's just a matter of time before she finds out the truth."

The look on his face hurt her. She gently told him, "I'll talk to him. But Harry, please just give him time. He's upset over what the circle did to me years ago and he's just trying not to lash out at certain people. And even though he knows you weren't involved, he's having trouble separating you from the rest at the moment."

"So I'm not the only one he's avoiding?"

"He's avoiding his father too, if that helps."

"I know this is going to sound awful but that is a bit of a relief. I was starting to believe that he was only avoiding me. But I didn't stay to talk to you about this – I really wanted to ask you about was the unidentified potion."

"Good because I would like to know when are you going to it be known that I've figured it out? You should be lucky I'm as good as I am with all the people I have had to fool the past couple of months."

"I'm wanting to wait as long as possible. We still have no idea what the group's motivations are or even who is all involved. When it comes time, I'm going to need your help to 'surprise' everyone with the identification."

"Isn't this illegal?"

"Isn't that potion?"

"Fine Potter," Pansy sighed, biting her lip. "Have it your way. As I've said from the very beginning, it will be your arse if we get caught."

"But my real question is – what's the status of the antidote?"

"I'm no closer than any other wizard or witch who has looked for one for the past 600 years. There are days I feel like I have something and then it falls apart. Then there are other days, I feel like I'm just going in circles with my research. Just be glad that I have Ron or I would have lost my mind with this project weeks ago."

"Nothing?" Pansy noted, he was no longer looking at her but staring at his hands, as he said that. "I was hoping you could come up with something before we announce what you found."

"So are you sure, you have nothing?" he asked again when Pansy didn't provide an immediate answer. She knew that tone and didn't like it at all.

"Potter what aren't you telling me?" she asked quietly. "What's the real reason you've been pushing for this antidote? It's not about this case is it?"

"As I said earlier, we have no ideas regarding the groups' motivations – outside of the one confirmed member we've caught. But he just keeps repeating something about the woman we seek will be revealed in the ebbing of winter in her eyes. However, he was tortured to insanity before we captured him by members of the group; so who knows what that is all about."

"So we have no idea why we keep seeing the same potions and why they are always locked up even if most aren't illegal to have," Harry started meeting her eyes briefly, before looking down at his hands again. "Regardless, I just think we need to be prepared in case we have an increase in werewolves and it would be better to go public with news that this potion exists if we have an antidote in place."

"Bullshite," she retorted with a hard laugh. "You aren't fooling me on this one. It's not just about the case anymore. Is it? Because we both know that there hasn't been an increase in werewolves in spite of the fact we keep coming across the damn potion in various raids. _However_, I'm currently having to do my normal work on top of the work for the Walpurgis case as well as work on this after hours and on the weekend because you asked me to do so on the down-low. So stop bullshiting me and just be honest?"

"You do realize you don't need to know everything," Harry said standing up.

"I understand that. Merlin knows I've been saying that a lot to you and the others as of late," Pansy jumped off her table, watching him cringe. Moving toward him, she continued, "I do need to know why I'm risking the wrath of Percy Weasley to do this for you. He would love nothing more than to fire my arse."

"So stop if you are so worried. We will announce you figure out the potion when you come back next week."

"Is that what you want?" she asked, seeing something she didn't like in his eyes. His request had nothing to do with work. She should have realized that when he asked her to do it on the down-low. She had just been so excited at the prospect of having an interesting project, she hadn't thought it through until this very moment.

She waited for a response but he was not forthcoming, gently she asked "This is personal isn't it?"

He didn't answer her.

"Harry, why is a potion that hadn't been seen in over 600 years personal?" Pansy asked, hoping her gut instinct at the moment wasn't right. Why did Saint Potter always think the impossible was possible? Maybe because he had always been able to make it happen.

When he didn't answer her, she whispered, "Please tell me this isn't about Bill Weasley?"

She watched as he looked everywhere in her lab but directly at her. Pansy didn't say anything as he walked around. After a few minutes of stressed silence, Pansy whispered, "You know I've been working on an antidote to the potion not a potion for the illness. They are two separate entities."

Potter immediately stopped in his tracts while Pansy's stomach dropped. She bit her lower lip and sadly looked at him. She wished she had clarified what she was working in all their previous encounters, but they had always been surrounded and had to speak in a certain amount of codes. Potter didn't say anything as he took a seat on her desk.

"Has Ron talked to you about Bill?" he softly asked, still not meeting her eyes.

"No," she responded. "Not with everything that's been going on with my father and Draco the past two weeks."

"I'm surprised."

"You shouldn't be," she told him leaning up against a table. "When was the last time he actually thought of himself first when not focusing on his insecurities."

"So do you want me to tell you?"

"I'd rather you not," she responded. "I'll talk to him this evening. Or at least try to get him to tell me first... By the way, when do you come on duty again?"

"Seven."

"Why don't you come a bit early, if you can?" she told him gathering up her materials. "I think he was planning on visiting Draco this evening. I'll try to get him to hang around to talk to you."

"Glad I was sitting for that one," Harry let out a hollow laugh. "He's going to go see Draco but he can't make time for me."

"Harry..."

"What?" he interrupted. "He can forgive Draco but not his best mate?"

"He knows Harry," she whispered. "When I told him about the Heartsease Curse, I also told him the truth about mine and Draco's relationship."

Harry just stared at her

"Harry you know I had too," she responded, turning away from Harry, so nothing on her face could give her away as she fought back her own tears. "Ron means too much to me to continue to lie to him."

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_A/N: And you thought I had forgotten about Pansy's work and Hermione :) FYI -- this chapter is also un-beta'd; my beta is still struggling with health issues. A big thank you to all of those who sent me reviews for the last chapter. I really appreciate hearing from all of you. The next chapter will go up next Tuesday and is entitled "Unspoken Gifts".  
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_I just wanted to let everyone know that I do have some other projects that I'm going to start putting up here on . However, this story will be updated regularly once a week until it is finished. So don't worry about it being abandoned. _

_Seraph 0:)  
_


	21. Chapter 17 Unspoken Gifts

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Nor do I make any money.**

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Chapter 17 – Unspoken Gifts

Nothing had gone as either Pansy had anticipated or planned the rest of the day after she finally chased Harry out of her lab earlier.

Her plan had been to slip out of the ministry undetected. Then the three supposed wise men of the Department of Mysteries found her.

First she had been detoured by the Unspeakable Boddington who wanted to know the status of the _Amore Draught_ she had been working on. That conversation led to her being delayed for over an hour as she tried to explain to him what was preventing her from being able to stabilize the stronger potion he swore he had come up with. She couldn't get it through his head that unicorn hair was a stabilizer in potions it was a combustible.

Then Unspeakable Harp wanted to know the status of his request for two gallons of a particular stasis draught. That conversation took her another thirty minutes before she got it through his thick skull that she had left the two gallons on his desk last Friday before she left for the week and maybe if he would clean his office than he wouldn't have misplaced two bloody gallons of potion.

And lastly Unspeakable Bass wanted to talk to her about her work on the _Amortentia_ because he had ideas for it within his own work on love. She kept asking him if she could talk to him about it on Monday when she officially returned to work but he would have nothing to do with it. Instead he insisted on having what amounted to a ninety minute conversation at the drop of the hat over a very dangerous and powerful potion. Luckily she was comfortable enough about the specifics of the bloody potion that had gotten her the job in the first place – only because the bloody potion didn't effect her.

The next part of her plan had been to catch up with Ron while he visited Draco and try to convince him to go talk to Harry but by the time she had gotten to St. Mungo's, Draco informed her that Ron was long gone and fussed at her for taking so long; he had been bored since Ron left and Astoria was with Daphne in France for the day.

Two very long hours after she arrived at St. Mungo's, Harry had shown up hopeful that she had talked to Ron. Much to his disappointment, he found out that she hadn't been able to because of being delayed in the Ministry. Watching his face fall though bothered her enough that the next time Draco whined, she did something she couldn't remember doing in several years, she not only snapped at him to 'grow up', she directed her the full brunt of her anger at him. Causing him and Harry to just stare at her wide-eyed as she let into him, reminding him that he was a grown adult and could bloody well start acting like one.

Not very long after that she found herself screaming in frustration as she threw her hands up in the air and told them that she would see them both tomorrow. Pansy started stalking home until she gave up about ten blocks from St. Mungo's and hailed a cab to take her the rest of the way home.

The stress of the day had finally taken its toll on Pansy by the time she trudged up the stairs to her crimson front door. Slinging it open, the door landed against the nearby wall with a loud noise but she didn't care. Throwing it back closed once she was in her flat, the resounding thud was satisfying as she started to hang her bag and cloak up.

"Bad day?"

She heard Ron ask. Turning to face him, she saw him leaning casually against the counter in the kitchen with a drink already in his hand. She quickly decided, at that moment, coming home to him was the best part of being with him.

"Did you know my best mate is a spoiled brat?" she huffed moving towards him.

"Please tell me you are not just now figuring out that Malfoy is a spoiled brat," he said with a laugh, handing her his drink before going to fetch his own.

"I knew," she replied grudgingly. "I just never had to be on the receiving end of one of his tantrums."

"So are you really going to be buying him a Ducatti motorbike, Lizzie?" Ron asked with a small laugh. "Or is that just hopeful wishing on his part? Because let me tell you, he wouldn't shut up about it for two hours."

She just glared at him before saying, "I was," but when he arched an eyebrow up at her, she relented, "Okay I did. It's in the sodding car park out back. I'm just thinking of not giving it to him until he can prove to me he can act like an adult."

"You do realize you have a better chance of seeing a unicorn walk down the street with Knockturn Alley whore than that?" he said laughing.

Scrunching up her face at him with a dirty look, she took a seat at the kitchen table before she continued, "Did you know he has done nothing but whine the last two hours. First it was because you kept beating his arse in chess, then it was about Astoria going to France for the day with Daphne – who was picking out her wedding dress by the way, then it was about me not being there when I said I would, followed by the food at St. Mungo's, and then there was something about the healer's, and then he couldn't shut up about – Merlin, I can't even remember; I think had started zoning him out by then.

I swear the healer's need to release his arse, so I can send him back to work and let my father, Theo and Justin deal with him. And to think Blaise and I were thinking of throwing a little get together at the Keep next weekend to celebrate him getting released! I'm seriously re-thinking that too."

"Relax, Lizzie. He's just showing you he's feeling better," Ron laughed tussling her hair before kissing her on the top of her forehead and taking a seat next to him. "So what's this get together you are planning?"

"Blaise owled me after you left this morning about it. The Keep is this place I own up north near the border on the Scottish side with plenty of land to sate our racing habits. We were thinking a little get together with significant others to celebrate Draco getting out; that and it's finally warm enough to get the toys our to race for most of the day."

"So who are you talking about?"

"Well, you and me, Draco and Astoria, Greg and Daphne, Blaise and the latest trollop he's seeing – I can't remember her name, and Theo and Justin. If you want to invite Harry and Ginny it should be fine, so you won't be the only lion in the pit of snakes."

"Wait a minute who is Justin?"

"Justin Finch-Fletchy? Muggle-born Hufflepuff?," she asked waiting for comprehension from Ron. Once she heard him say 'oh', she continued, "Him and Theo have been together for ages. We actually thought they were going to be the first ones hitched in the group but Greg and Daphne seem to have beaten them to the punch line."

"You just classified him as a snake," Ron laughed. "Does he know that?"

She just shook her head, "Wait until you actually hang around him. He is as ruthless and as cutthroat as it comes; I witnessed him manhandle Lucius Malfoy of all people in a meeting last year. The year that should have been our seventh year at Hogwarts, I had to put him into hiding to protect him and it really changed him."

"You did that?"

"Had to for Theo's sake. Least I could do for him," Pansy responded with a shrug of her shoulders. "They had been in love with each other for two years by then and if I hadn't done it, I think they both would have come out a lot worse for wear by the time the war was over. It was bad enough for the two of them as it was with Justin being a muggle-born and Theo's step-father being in Voldemort's Inner Circle."

"You feel responsible for them all don't you?"

"The circle? Yes," she whispered with a nod. "They often have to put their lives on hold or give up their lives to protect me so I repay their sacrifices every chance I get just as my mum did before me and everyone before that."

"So Draco gets a motorbike?"

"Draco gets about everything materialistically that he wants. All he has to do is ask and he knows it."

"And you hid Theo's boyfriend away during the war?"

"Yes."

"Harry?"

Turning her head away, so Ron couldn't see her eyes when she admitted to this, "Got Kingsley to overlook the NEWTS requirement of admittance to Aurors."

"But he extended that to me too."

"I know," she said before dropping her voice to a whisper and continuing, "I asked him to extend the offer to you also."

"Why?"

"Because Draco told me you saved his life."

"Who else is in the circle?"

"Officially right now?"

"Yes."

"My father. Your father. My mother. Kingsley. Andromeda Tonks. Ernie MacMillan. John Dawlish. Hannah Abbott. Penelope Clearwater. Susan Bones. Neville Longbottom."

"But that's eleven."

"Harry makes twelve. Draco doesn't count as my bodyguard and neither does Bear because his responsibility is to the family heritage and not me. Mags is a long story. She counts but then again she doesn't."

"What about Theo? I thought he was part of it."

"Theo's yet another special case. He won't officially join the circle until his father passes."

"Why is that?"

"Seven members of the circle are there due to family obligations. Five of those are always the oldest son, two of those are always the oldest daughter. The other five are chosen by the original seven. Theo won't be required to serve until his father passes but he has made the active choice to be a member which is his right as one of the seven required to serve once he came of age. So he gets a vote and a say in any circle-related matters."

"He has to serve?"

"Yes," she sighed, pouring herself another drink. "He doesn't have a choice because he's from one of the seven families that are required to serve."

"Who else doesn't have a choice?"

"You aren't going to like the answer," she whispered taking a sip of her drink.

"Probably not but you are still going to tell me."

Sighing, Pansy bit her lip before replying, "My father. Your father. Harry. Teddy, Andromeda serves for him right now. Neville. Susan. Hannah. In other words: Parkinsons, Weasleys, Potters, Lupins, Longbottoms, Bones, and Abbotts."

"So you mean..."

She interrupted him, "That Bill will serve upon your father's death unless he chooses to serve earlier and Teddy will serve once he comes of age."

"So your father..."

"Is actually Theo's."

The kitchen fell silent. Both just sat there sipping on their drinks pondering the words and actions of the other. Pansy hadn't expected that this evening she would be explaining the make up of the circle to Ron and by the look on his face, she was sure he hadn't expected all her answers. Especially the part where his family fit in. She briefly wondered why he hadn't asked just why those seven families were required to served. And why the circle did serve her family.

Then she realized what he must be thinking and she hoped to Merlin, that he wouldn't ask what if anything she had done for his father; his family.

"Have you ever done anything for my father; for my family?" she closed her eyes as she heard the words she never wanted to hear.

"Yes," she whispered. "My mum did. Philip just made sure her wish was continued as did I after I came of age."

"What have you done for my family?"

"You have to promise me that you will not say anything to your parents about you knowing?" she pleaded. "Because I really shouldn't be telling you this."

"Why? Why can't I know?"

"Give me your word you won't say anything, about this piece of information and I'll tell you," she said firmly as he stared at her. "Because I'm frankly done with trying to hid everything from you."

Ron's jaw went slack as he stared at her. She waited patiently for him to finally respond, "You have my word. What did you do?"

Unfortunately, her courage faltered. She could barely hear the words herself as she said, "We paid for Hogwarts."

His eyes grew wide as the words sunk in. He blinked a few times before swallowing the rest of the drink. Looking at her one more time, he stood up and walked out of the kitchen. Pansy could hear his footfalls as he trudged up the stairs but she chose not to follow him upstairs.

Somewhere she knew she shouldn't have told him what exactly she had done for his family but she really had grown tired of hiding things from him or having to come up with half-truths or lies. If he was going to be in her life than there were things he was just going to have to know. Whether he liked the truth or not.

Sipping her drink, she allowed her mind to wander to when they were in school how of all the Weasleys' he seemed the most embarrassed by their family's lack of money. Pansy, let her finger run along the rim of her drink as she remembered watching his obvious embarrassment, while not understanding why it mattered to him at all – some of the few times she would actually let herself think about it. The times she allowed herself to wallow in self-pity about the poor, little, orphaned, rich girl she really was. The moments she wanted to grab him and shake him and remind him of all he had that she could never have no matter how much money she had in Gringotts or Switzerland or the Caribbean. But she never did. Because it would have given her away for everyone knew that Pansy Parkinson had two doting parents in the forms of Philip and Persephone Parkinson.

But it also meant that just because she never did, didn't mean she never would.

Finishing her drink, she went upstairs to their bedroom; figuring it was as good as time as any to force Ron to talk about this with her. Standing in the door way, she saw him staring at the fire from his stretched out position on the couch; fiddling with her ivory Queen.

"Can I ask what's it like actually growing up with your parents?" she asked, leaning against the door frame.

He didn't answer her. Nor did he look at her.

She kept pressing, "I mean I know I have Philip and Persephone and I do consider them my parents for all intents and purposes but what is it like to grow up with the mum and dad who created you?"

Still Ron said nothing but kept looking at the Queen in his hand.

"Do you know I can barely remember what my mum looked like?"

To her aggravation, he still didn't respond.

She decided to try another tactic to get him to respond to her and started to tap her foot, as she spoke, "Your Hogwarts education isn't the only one I've paid for."

He glared at her briefly before turning his attention back to the queen and saying, "I know, you paid for my siblings also."

"Actually right now, according to the goblin who is responsible for that particular fund, I'm footing the bill for twenty-seven children to attend Hogwarts currently. Since I took over my own finances during our sixth year, I have footed the bill for every student who wants to attend and couldn't afford to otherwise. As well as having set aside the money to send Teddy for everything his father did for me. You aren't the only ones I've helped go to Hogwarts. Your family merely gave me the idea."

"Are you looking for sainthood?" he snapped, slamming the piece back on the table and standing back up. His anger flowing from him. "Or for me to bow down at your feet like evidently my father does?"

"I know that more than one goblin and more than one accountant has complained about the significant amount of money I spend in gifts and charities every year but everyone seems to forget at the end of the day when they go home to their parents, children, brothers, sisters, whatever – I get to go home to no one except the people I call my parents, sisters, or brothers. I belong to no one except the people who swear on their lives to serve and protect me."

"So I'm not going to apologize for spending the money to make sure you and your brothers and your sister got the education your parents wanted for you without making your lives any harder than what it was."

"So now you are poor, little, rich girl?" he snapped.

Standing up, she stopped tapping her foot, aggravated that it wasn't bothering him as she reminded him, "You asked me a question and I told you the truth, what do you want from me? Or would you prefer me to just to go back to lying to you or trying to protect you from the truth? If that's the case, then just leave. "

Evidently, he wasn't expecting that. He kept wildly gesturing with his arms while his mouth kept opening and closing as no sound actually came out. She let him stop and start multiple times though he never said anything before finally giving up and sitting back down on the sofa, resting his head in his hands.

She didn't say anything as she moved to take a seat next to him. Leaning back, she started to rub his back as he rubbed his face while she waited out his silence.

She didn't have to wait long before she heard him mutter something but she didn't catch it.

"Ron, I'm sorry but I couldn't make out a single word you said," she said gently as she continued to rub his back.

"Why me?"

"Ron, how many times am I going to have to convince you why I'm here? I'm still here because you seem to only see me and none of the other trappings," Pansy sighed in frustration. Looking up at her ceiling she finally had the balls to ask what had been going through her mind since she confessed to him about the blasted curses,"You do realize that I keep wondering a similar thing these past few days – so why are you still here with me?"

"What?" his eyes grew large as he stared at her. "How could you ask something like that?"

"You are with a girl who is under the Heartsease curse. It's an obvious question. So why? Why are you here?" she asked, turning her head to look at him as she felt herself unable to hide her own melancholy regarding what she was going to ask. "Why are you with someone who can never say...never...damn it to Hades!"

She yelled the last part in frustration, as the tears welled up in her eyes unable to articulate just what she wanted to ask him.

"Why?" she softly asked again, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. "Why doesn't it matter to you? It should you know that."

She felt his arm wrap around her and pull her closer to his body, before he kissed her on the top of her head. Pansy felt him pull her into his laps as he wrapped her up completely in his arms.

"I don't know. It just doesn't feel like that matters in end."

"But how can you say that?"

"Easy," he sighed. "I just spent three years with a girl who said it so much and backed it up with so little action that she managed to cheapen the verbal gesture in my mind."

"You are really okay with me never being able to say it or really truly feel it, no matter how long we are together? That I will never be able to reciprocate any feelings other then the affection we share now," she whispered, her voice trembling with fear. "That we will never be more than what we are now."

Ron held her as they fell into silence while she let him think about what she just asked him. Pansy just let him have his silence and tried to enjoy the comfort she found in his arms.

"I can't promise our relationship won't change," he said softly and gently. "But right here and right now, it doesn't matter to me. You are all that matters to me now."

"And when everything changes, will you please just tell me?" she whispered. "That's all I ask."

"How about _if_ anything changes, I promise to come talk to you first?"

Pansy sat up quickly in his lap to look at him, "You are acting as if it is only a possibility."

"And you are acting like it's inevitable."

"Well it is, isn't it?" she prodded as she searched his face. "You will eventually want a wife and children..."

"Are you always this pessimistic?" he asked interrupting her with a soft smile that seemed knowing.

"About this? Yes," she responded. "I mean how else am I suppose to..."

"Lizzie," he interrupted, grabbing her face with his hand. "Don't think about it. I have this feeling, I'm going to be around as long as you let me stay."

"Really?" she asked resting her forehead on his. "Even if..."

"Really."

"In spite of everything? That I can never marry you or..."

"Yes Lizzie," he sighed. "In spite of everything."

"Promise?"

"Merlin, Lizzie," Ron replied frustrated, brushing her hair away from his face. "Let it go."

"Sorry," she said quickly, realizing that he was right. Settling back down into his lap and leaning against his body, she forced her mind to empty and just to focus on Ron and the peace that came with simply being with him.

"You do realize that this whole situation is frustrating enough without you doubting me or us."

"I know and I'm sorry if it seems like I'm doubting you or us. I'm not, I'm just scared to lose you now," she told him as she watched her fingers draw idle patterns along his clothed chest

"It's just that moments like earlier just makes me doubt why you are with me because I'm reminded that I'm either just the sidekick or that poor blood traitor..."

"I really wish you wouldn't use that word," she sighed, interrupting him. "It really hurts me to hear you say that because you aren't a blood traitor."

"Why do you keep saying that? It's not like that isn't what my family is given our affection for muggles and muggleborns."

"Because that's not what a blood traitor is. Or wasn't until after the first war with Voldemort."

"What do you mean?"

"There is only one family that can truly be called blood traitors and its the Malfoys."

"Why?"

"Because they were traitors to my blood line," she replied. Taking his hand into hers, she started to rub on it as she continued, "The first Malfoy served under mine who was ruling over Briton at that time. That Malfoy challenged my ancestor's rule while he was at war defending the country; usurping not only his throne and also his wife. When mine found out, he came back to regain his throne and war broke out. In the end both my ancestor and the Malfoy ancestor were mortally wounded; with his dying breath the Malfoy ancestor cursed mine; that my family should never rule Briton again."

"At the end of the battle there were only seven surviving knights. All who fought for my ancestor and who all swore on their lives and their families to protect what was left of my family. Thus the circle came into being. Over years, my family has progressively gone further and further into hiding as people see it as a way to usurp the throne from the Muggle royal family as well as having a descendant of a significant wizard at their beckon call. With my mum's accidental death – I was completely hidden away for my own protection and the circle forgotten; so the term blood traitor evolved due to Lucius trying to remove the stigma from his own family."

"Weasleys are not now nor have they ever been blood traitors. After all your father has done for me over the years, it really hurts me to hear you call yourself a blood traitor. Because you aren't. None of your family is."

"What about Draco?" Ron asked quietly.

"What about him?" she asked turning her hand to look at him. "I keep telling you all that he isn't his father. I refuse to allow him to call himself that either. Same for Mags."

"What about Lucius?"

"Azkaban is still too good for his rotting soul."

"That sounds familiar," he replied, pulling her closer to him. "So if none of you like Lucius, how did the arrange marriage come to pass between you and Draco, Lizzie?"

"To this day, only the circle, and now you, know that Lucius got what he came after the night my mum died. As far as he knows, his son became betrothed to Pansy Parkinson, eldest daughter of Philip Parkinson when she was ten years of age after running into her and her father in Paris. He pursued the arrangement relentlessly for months. I always thought that he did so because he wanted to make Philip pay for him not getting his first choice years ago."

"Hidden in plain sight."

"Pretty much," she said with a sad smile on her face. "Lucius didn't recognize me when he stumbled upon us at Notre Dame. I had my hazel eyes by then and my hair had darkened to the freaky black colour it is today. My father did his best to avoid Lucius' request for as long as possible but in the end, the circle decided that it less suspicious to go through with it then to keep avoiding it. They were planning, that when I came of age, they would fake my death again and just squirrel me away again. Farther than just Paris next time."

"Fake your death _again_?"

"When it first happened, no one could figure out why I survived and my mum didn't after being hit with the same spell, so when they buried my mum, they 'buried' me also. And let the world know, in their own manipulative way, that my family had cease to be; causing my family to finally pass into the realm of myths and legends in which the circle had cloaked itself and my family in for so long."

Whispering, she added, "I only go to visit Bear and Mags when I'm really hurt or upset because it never fails – the one I want to visit is always out there with her grave. Everyone knows it, so they have this tendency to ban me from going to see Bear or Mags. One because they can't get to me when I there but more importantly they all believe that visiting my mum will be worse than whatever I'm running away from. Because they all know why I truly hate visiting her grave."

"And why is that?"

"My grave is right next to it. With a sculpture of my four-year-old self."

* * *

_A/N: Thank you to all that have sent me reviews for the last chapter. I really do appreciate the fact that you take the time to let me know what you think. Warning this one is also unbeta'd.  
_

_As a friendly FYI, I'm going to do my best to update this story in a week but after having the last six weeks off, I go back to work with the start of school and my first two weeks back are always a nightmare. Don't worry, I'm not abandoing this story. "Come What May" will often be updated more often then this story due to the contrasting nature of both: "Come What May" is a free-writing exercise without a plot plan, often I'm writing on it while on the bus; "And You Will Have Me Live" has a plot plan and huge backstory -- both of which requires me to think and edit in peace and quiet._

_Seraph 0:)_


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